Epiphany

All these years wasted
 Waiting on tomorrow
 Re-uped in smoke they went
 Dealing with the sorrow  
Fooled by the head changes full of yesterdays
 Now there's hell to pay
 Times up none left to borrow
 Visions of a happy life
 I hope I live to see
 To distance by a decade
 All these years of misery
 Everyday is a constant struggle
 Though my struggles are not in vain
 Not even Noah Webster has the words that can describe this place of pain
 Its not really a monkey on my back
 More like a demon in my brain
 I am the one who put it there
 My hands hold all the blame
 Left behind this time reminding me
 Is a single track of shame
 Inside the remains insane is all that remains
 I got the point
 That words fail to explain
 And behind it a thick mixture
 That turned to mud inside my vein
 My mistakes have all the answers
 No need to question what is true
 The truth was here long before me
 And will still be here long after you
 Only I can break this curse
 Which I've carried from my youth now I'm a little longer in the tooth
 I can see through the disproving proof
 Now burdened by the truth
 I'm defeated down on my knees
 Pleads for mercy I cry out
 Please God please God
 Oh please
 Oh how pitiful
 I've become to be
 Begging to escape my fate
 When I've chosen this destiny
 Now weak and weary
 I'm broken down
 Right here it's a miracle I need
 The devil has me down
 He wants to bury me in mud
 The bastard is plotting my murder
 Calculated in cold blood