deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rat pack
I will let you have it
let you think you've won
and your words cut me like a knife
I'll let you think my tears are for you
that I will miss the conversations
we did not have
never would've
I can let you believe
in your lies
and the fairytales you spin
with happily ever after at the end of every single one
you will believe in yourself
and try and make me out to who you want me to be
but you do not know the truth
because you aren't worthy enough
to know me
not that I'm some dime you treasure for more then just rainy days
or something you can't live without
I'm who I am
if you don't like my giggles
my spirit , happiness
or my real smile
then you can easily go fuck yourself
I don't care about you
I'll never care
your lies are common, predictable
and childish
I'm a bitch that's all you'll ever see
coz I don't like your kind
the arrogant pricks
with little dick syndrome
they belittle women for their gain
thinking they know everything because they have age
age isn't a thing oldie
it's a number
and yours is up
have a seat with the rest of the
lonely arrogant assholes
You's deserve each other
the old , lonely , sad , ignorant
rat pack cunts
let you think you've won
and your words cut me like a knife
I'll let you think my tears are for you
that I will miss the conversations
we did not have
never would've
I can let you believe
in your lies
and the fairytales you spin
with happily ever after at the end of every single one
you will believe in yourself
and try and make me out to who you want me to be
but you do not know the truth
because you aren't worthy enough
to know me
not that I'm some dime you treasure for more then just rainy days
or something you can't live without
I'm who I am
if you don't like my giggles
my spirit , happiness
or my real smile
then you can easily go fuck yourself
I don't care about you
I'll never care
your lies are common, predictable
and childish
I'm a bitch that's all you'll ever see
coz I don't like your kind
the arrogant pricks
with little dick syndrome
they belittle women for their gain
thinking they know everything because they have age
age isn't a thing oldie
it's a number
and yours is up
have a seat with the rest of the
lonely arrogant assholes
You's deserve each other
the old , lonely , sad , ignorant
rat pack cunts
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likes 10
reading list entries 0
comments 20
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Re: Rat pack
Anonymous
11th Sep 2013 1:32am
Great poem Gigi...Strider
I'm who I am
if you don't like my giggles
my spirit , happiness
or my real smile
then you can easily go fuck yourself
My favorite stanza....
I'm who I am
if you don't like my giggles
my spirit , happiness
or my real smile
then you can easily go fuck yourself
My favorite stanza....
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Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 2:57am
While I respect the straight forward, raw honesty in your piece of work, it only serves you in venting truth, whatever poetry you have here is de-valued by the straight honesty, this is something I failed to learn until it finally clicked, I suggest you warp this into one grand analogy to a swarm of rats for something more subtle, and once you try for subtly, the other techniques just click in place. It makes writing far more extensive, subtle and poetic.
Overall this is a poem dripping in truth and emotion, which is good, you can take those emotions and that truth and try to challenge a reader into understanding, through the use of metaphors, subtle and imagery
Overall this is a poem dripping in truth and emotion, which is good, you can take those emotions and that truth and try to challenge a reader into understanding, through the use of metaphors, subtle and imagery
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re: Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 4:14am
Thank you for your words I will defineitely keep them in mind! I will look it over and see what I can fix up Ty Evan xoxo
Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 3:48am
Call it as you see it, and make that stick. Respect is earned by your being yourself, without excuse or apology.
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re: Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 4:15am
Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 6:43am
Damn rats...
Raw and honest, and Evan makes an excellent suggestion. Wth, Sarov, looks like you're due that poetic license...
Raw and honest, and Evan makes an excellent suggestion. Wth, Sarov, looks like you're due that poetic license...
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Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 7:00am
Feel you in this piece Gigi. Sometimes needs must and we just have to say it as it is.
Great write. :)
Great write. :)
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Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 6:10pm
Holy crap!! you just came out raw! Wow n gosh did you
spill it with brilliance! damn...
spill it with brilliance! damn...
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Re: Rat pack
11th Sep 2013 6:41pm
yeah/ "breakin up is hard to do...."
however
it behooves the 'artist' as such to try wrench the paradox & irony out of the "other guy's" assholery....but straight up, in-the-face anger is what most folks, 'secially round here relate to. Guess that's why no one reads me with any regularity. o well, what the fuck.....it's so much less fun when ye comes to a point where No One is to blame....less fun, more responsibility for what goes on in our 'minds' that brings so much pain...& 9 outta 10 folks flatly deny that ego is pullin all their strings, & that if an alternate path is found, ego, left unattended, a is human wont & conditioning, will take that over....
what am I sayin & why.....I should be writing more readless pooms or go for a very very very long swim
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re: Re: Rat pack
12th Sep 2013 4:19am
Keep writing the reads really do not matter it's the release of your expression that does xoxo my friend I'll always be reading you
Re: Rat pack
This is a beautifully raw, emotive piece that I found to be delightful in it's straight talking philosophy. Albeit sad in it's content. My personal feeling here, left me with a feeling of freedom and peace and well we know hoe good that is.
If I edited anything it would be this line "then".
"not that I'm some dime you treasure for more then just rainy days".
love @ you
If I edited anything it would be this line "then".
"not that I'm some dime you treasure for more then just rainy days".
love @ you
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re: Re: Rat pack
12th Sep 2013 5:53pm
Anonymous
- Edited 1st May 2021 7:46am
14th Sep 2013 8:47am
<< post removed >>
Re: Rat pack
2nd Jan 2014 7:59pm
Oh yes. Let the pain an hatred be inspiring. Make something terrible become beautiful words. Very well written.
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