Tired of all of this... (Hate Myself)

All I do is cry
I hold it in till I'm alone
I hold it in till everyone falls asleep
I hold it in till I'm far away
I'm always feeling hurt
I cant do this any longer
I cant stand this pain
I cant go on
oh god! I just hate myself
not able to make anyone happy
not able to even make myself
not able to open up
I try and try but I fail...
why? why? why?
not feeling loved
not felling cared
not feeling appreciated
help me
why so much anger?
why so much verbal abuse?
why so much hate?
I hate myself I hate this life
I'm not worth living
I'm not worth at all
I'm not anyone
I'm afraid of my own shadow
I'm afraid of this world
I'm afraid to look at myself in the mirror
no place of turning or going
don't want to show my face
don't want to show my tears
don't want to live
I'm tired of all yelling
I'm tired of it all
I just wish  was dead and not feel anything at all...