random thouggts

These thoughts of mine

Are unhindered by time.

Past, present, and future-its all the same

Happiness, tears and pain

And everything in between

Always show their true extend in every dream.

I am just a girl with a lost soul

Surviving each new day only goal

Fighting my addictons of meth and cutting every minute of the day

Sometimes i wonder if it really helps when I pray.

Life hasnt been what i think it should

But now that the chance arrives I cant help but to wonder if its good

Is it good that I can be loved

Not pushed around, abused and shoved

Is It good i let someone get so close to me

When darkness and blood is all that i see

Is it good to once again risk getting hurt

Is it finally over or is it an ongoing curse?

I wish I had the courage to cry

But until each thunderstorm my eyes remain dry

Or maybe its the fact ive tried for so long

Just to be numb is how I belong

The last thing I wanted was to let myself feel

Its almost too much cause its so perfect to be real..

How can you know what it means

When too many times, for too long you've fallen apart from the seams

How do you know that love really exists

Or is it like a fairy tale..false hope in myths

For once I embelish in the reality of it all

Maybe its worth the pain when my world once again begins to fall