Stability

I am the eye of the storm...
Being pulled in
A thousand different directions
That all
Cancel each other out
Creating
A false equilibrium
And
A misleading calmness...
It is not real
These feelings of mine
Both surreal
And divine
Some are beautiful
Some are scary
I try to be dutiful
But my moods vary
On Monday: happy
On Tuesday: stoic
On Wednesday: scrappy
On Thursday: heroic
On Friday: sad
On Saturday: reflective
On Sunday: bad
On Monday: selective
Has the week gone by?
I did not notice
One second I cry
The next, I'm Adonis
Then I rejoice
Then I rage
Is it a choice
To be locked in a cage?...
I am happy
I am sad
I am good
I am bad
I will win
I will lose
I am sober
I need booze...
Darkness creeps
Indifference seeps
Passion blooms
But must make room
For seeds of doom...
My cage is water
My tears are steel
My head gets hotter
I cannot deal
What is wrong?
Nothing, I reply
Silence is my song
Quiet is my cry...
There are no words for this existence
The only plan is persistence
But courage fails as I grow tired
My good intentions have expired...
Sleep
   is
      much
         like
     love
there
    is
      either
            too
              much
           or
      not
enough..................