Internal Conflictions of a Psychotic Girl

Knees shuddering as I stand on the borderline,

Good shining all to the north,

But evil breathes and raises every hair on my neck.

Every follicle of my being confused.

My eyes stare at this battle,

A dual between life and death.

Wishing to blend up the stars in the sky

And inject them into my deteriorating veins.

Wanting to cut my bruised skin,

And see if anything worthy is secreted.

So alone, not even my shadow will befriend me.

A life made up of fake friends and alibis,

Bringing tears of self resentment to my ugly eyes.

So lost, so scared, I don’t even know

What direction I’m in,

Or if I’m really living.

Does living in half hearted happiness

Count as living at all?

Wishing only to live by the book,

But not knowing how; where do I start?

Lost between salvation and demolition,

Crying out, but being ignored or misunderstood,

As I pretend I don’t care that they don’t…

Know me, or want to get to,

Or if I live or die, if I go to heaven or hell.

Knees shuddering as I stand on the borderline,

Being torn apart by darkness

And repeatedly saved by light.