Fire and ice

I’ve made terrible choices.
Deceived and lied.
I voluntarily  “confessed”, with more lies.
I’ve told the full truth now, finally.
I’ve acknowledged fully the harm I’ve caused,
Expressed my sincere regret.
But the damage to my marriage and family is profound.
Her trust in me is gone, replaced by loathing.
My wife  shows me both her cold fury and hot rage.
Our son is furious with me for the harm I have caused.
Things seem very bleak but I am actually hopeful.
I am clear that, at this moment, I have done what I can to make amends.
Painful as it is I have not recoiled from her anger.
Rather, I’ve responded to it with my own truth.
She would probably sneer at my using the term “my own truth”, seeing it as an oxymoron.
But I feel I’m doing everything I can at this moment,
And that gives me a level of peace.