Realize

     The doctor says I'm sick. I just think I've smoked too much dope and snorted too much klonopin. Ha! With your fancy degree and white jacket dont you realize? I've been lying all this time.
     I realize that life is full of lies. But what gets me is the gullible and trustful persons. It's hard to feel sorry for someone who falls for it every time.
     I pulled back my hair and stuck my fingers down my throat. Gagging I couldn't help but think that this is just one more lie...a lie that feels good. Control feels good.
     Everytime I sneak a smoke, every time I vomit after I eat, and every time I fall farther I understand that I have done this to myself. I refuse to raise my hand and speak in class.
    I realize now that I am addicted to destruction. It's not that everybody is a liar, its that I can't stop.