A Monument To Self-Preservation

Today I ponder life, What’s beyond the bottle and the knife
Is there being beyond pain, Is there an existence beyond agony
I have felt the touch of death and the stab of love
I have felt the peace in death and the war in love
I have been alive for what seems like forever, I can no longer die

Giving in was an option for so long, I was always weak and never strong
I wanted to know what was wrong with me, I wanted to know my true fight
I burned through friendships and family bonds, Pleading for freedom through rage
Still the chains remained, Still the rage remained, Still the pages remained
So I write upon the horizon tonight, “I am my savior, I am the hero of my fate”

Hell is what you make of it, And I made a bed upon the burning fields
Heaven was always a dream I woke up from, My nightmares became reality
I drowned in my blurred sea, I sank beyond the reach of the love you gave
At rock bottom I rested for years, Through blood and sweat and tears
Begging to be found, I would never rest till I found solid ground

Rise up, I will never give in again, Rise up, I will never be a slave to my demons
I was the sacrifice I offered to myself, The devil inside was never satisfied
So I threw my arms up to the sky, And screamed “God take me now!”
I built my foundation through hell and still it remains a monument to self-preservation
I wrote my bible in blood, My eulogy remains unspoken, I am the master of my destiny