Better Off Gone

I'm tired....
Tired of feeling this way.
I don't want to get up in the morning
a repetitive cycle every day.
I drag myself out of bed
to atleast be a decent mom.
I sit on the couch, listen to her pout
I dont know where this feeling came from.
Actually I might have an idea
maybe because I cant do anything right..
Maybe because I never put up a fight.
I feel so weak inside
like I cant pull my self off the floor
I cry and I bitch to myself all day
no one wants to hear it anymore.
I look in the drawer
and all I see is a sharp solution
to a temporary problem
but I get the notion...
Maybe she'll be happier
have some stability in her life..
Maybe I'll quit bugging people
I wont ever have to be a shitty wife.
I hate blood though
so I know where some pills are
I dont know if there's enough to do the job
but I'll try it, I don't care.
It might make me feel better for a minute
if I'm lucky, possibly two...
I could just fall asleep for a couple days
but the pain won't be through.
So, I'll sit here wondering what its like
to make everyone's life better with out me
I know they'll go on laughing
Finally, what a lovely site to see.