Disconnected Thoughts of a Tired Morning Mind

**morning ramble**

Sometimes I feel a little desperate,
a little pathetic in nature
when I follow the ebb and flow of my nightly thoughts.

It costs me sleep, this loneliness,
this emptiness that at some points I want to fill,
and others I revel in.

Sometimes I will run my fingers down the body
of my violin,
get lost in the
treble notes.
It is peaceful to me, pleasing,
unceasingly so.

But once I lay down my bow, and the song ends,
back to anxious mind racing again.

I think I feel stagnant, caged,
enraged with the soul locked in my body.
Already I can't seem to relate to my friends,
again
I think it's my inner introvert
that diverts my attention from theirs,
or vice versa.

I crave the loving touch of a lover,
yet I get off on the violence, the excitement
of it hard and fast, mastering my body, laving my soul
in the dark fulfillment.
Apparently with desires like mine
it's hard to have your cake and eat it too.
Typical.

So while I made a grand notion last night,
deleting it all, ready for this new adventure,
I'd venture to say that when my phone lights up
in excitement, your vague impersonal text singing
its vibrating song, I will answer...

I am too lonely not too,
I am too personally incomplete to actual deny that.