Now Looking Back

 Looking back I swore you were my whole world,
you were the reason I woke with a smile,
the reason I hurled myself back into this
crazy hectic life, innocent, absent of guile.

And in a way, I miss you so much
but I know those feelings are simply a crutch
to try and hold up the happy memories.
There were so few...

Who knew that our lives would separate
quite the way they did,
Hell, I was just a kid
playing at an adult game, one which
you were well versed.

How many times I screamed and cursed
you hoping that I could penetrate deeper,
make you care more, make you love more.

How naive, now looking back,
because you loved as much as you were capable,
but what you were able
wasn't enough.

Not for me.
Was it wrong to be
so young and yearn for so much?
Are my expectations to high?
Nights that I would cry wanting
you to see how much I loved you,
how I would have done God knows what...
for you.

Now looking back I realize
through clearer, slightly older eyes,
how much you were my first love.

My first tangled night in your sheets,
awash with the sensations and heat
that I thought would never be paralleled.

The spell
you cast on my heart was unbreakable.
But now looking back, the links in the chain
tying my soul to yours is rusted,
dusted with copper flecks.
Weakened and broken.

I look back and I regret nothing.
Something I can smile and say with
complete honesty.

Honestly, I learned so much and
you taught me to love with all my heart,
and I could not ask for a better start
in the world of love.

Now looking back, I can only thank you,
from the bottom of my soul,
and I pray you have a life of happiness,
with an absence of sadness,
and a wealth of love.