today, sunday in may

 


I really struggle with the
idea of
a benign god,
I think there's too much
pain for that

there's the late
spring sun,
the trees and birds,
kids, parents, dogs,
here
on sunday, on the
riverbank, small
town in England

I think
my friend
must still be asleep,
but that's okay,
sleep is very very good

I'll feel a lot
better when
I see him
though

no friends is
no
chance for me

in this world
there's a lot of
stuff, most
of which I have
very
little understanding of

and it gets harder
to
get through it,
that I do understand

and
to not
jump into the grave,
while here
the sun and kids and dogs and ducks and fishes
in the
river, that makes sense
to me

the clever and the cocksure people, that's
okay, sometimes,
but I like nice
people best
and I
try to be one of
them,
try hard

manage it, sometimes fail,
always try,
all days,
all of those, all
those tests, oh
yes.