ONLY THIS OPEN HOLE    (relevant context: 2004, Galveston Island, Texas)

  
true love has left      
       my life        
now i am held      
       no more        
or perhaps i      
       should say        
i may be held      
       someday again        
but never in quite        
       the same way        
as i was before        
       true love      
that had proven      
          its truth to me        
beyond all doubt        
          in the end        
still deceived        
          and painfully proved        
beyond all truth        
          to only be      
this crushing lie        
       so suddenly        
so unexpectedly        
       abandoning me        
in such a cowardly        
       cold turkey way      
without the slightest      
       hint of sadness      
nor any remorse  
       at all    
but with only      
       a handful        
of hurtful  dead      
       end words        
spoken so coldly      
       so harshly      
completely void      
       of any feelings        
so impersonally      
       heartless      
over the phone        
          then just      
that quickly        
       it was over      
dead and done        
          after seven      
long months        
       of sharing      
the richest        
          intensities        
true love fled        
          my life        
yet even now        
          nearly ten months      
later        
       i still feel      
the pain        
          of its icy dagger        
lodged so deeply        
          in my back        
still penetrating        
          my mortally wounded        
intractably bleeding      
       heart  torn right      
out of my violated      
       soul        
with whatever sense        
          of minor self worth        
i once may have had        
          equally defeated now        
broken and emptied        
          of any desire      
or belief      
       of ever fully      
trusting        
          or loving another
like this again        
       for all my inner
joys and hopes        
          went down        
with the sun      
       that day        
but unlike the sun        
       has not yet since        
arisen here in me      
       again          
within the broken      
       pieces        
of whats left      
       now remaining      
of both what      
       i once was      
and of what      
       i now      
though unbeknownst      
       to me still   
beyond this present      
       pool of pain      
now seems      
       i have so wholly    
become    
       sunken  stuck        
here within      
       my still yet hopeful          
 though much more   
       cautious    
perhaps too timid        
       fearful  rejected    
abandoned      
       broken      
nonetheless      
       still slowly      
healing      
       ever dreaming      
now quietly rising      
       fiery      
phoenixed      
       heart