The Uncontrollable Rant (Confessions & Other Things)

I want to be honest so here are my sincerest confessions, I hardly ever pray or ask for forgiveness especially when I'm stressing, I may be a little bit selfish, uncontrollable but I'm confused struggling to learn and I value these lessons, Second guessing and roaming back and forth, figuring out if I'm right or wrong seems to take up my whole day, I bet that's wrong, but most of my fears get the best of me most of the time, Who would I be if I didn't cower away from consistent uncomfortable situations,  what would the future be like if I jumped on prime opportunities, Would I have found love if commitment didn't scare the hell out of me, would I be free if my mind released me from this whirlwind of insecurity, I can't even promise you ill be here tomorrow, I can't promise myself ill build up the courage to tell you what I really feel, I owe everybody more, not the other way around, I've taken too much I can't take anymore, Here are thee examples of a wounded heart, I was confident in the beginning but my soul was kidnapped once I reached the dark, Slipping away I lost touch I can't grasp reality, I think the drugs are kicking in because I can't feel the pain no more, Hallucinations of heaven and I feel great, god guided me through his holy gates, But the comedown is very much the opposite, My body is antsy and my feet are planted still, the trouble is I can't explain my feelings, I want to get up but the devil has a tight grip and that's when reality hits, that's when I know I slipped, face down drowning in a pool of my own tears, You can see the reflections, you can see the hate, all my disappointed family members , my best friends, and my peers are gone they made it out strong, I suppose I was misguided or maybe I never listened, I didn't have much so ran the streets looking for acceptance, My friends weren't real but we all shared that hopeless feel, I could see through them tho they had a translucent appeal, We all split up as we grew up, we went our separate ways as the days stretched us apart,  We were pretending to be close before, Now when we see each other we nod and move on, The circle of life and the only thing promised is death, I know I will struggle until I take my last breath, Why am I afraid to succeed, in a world driven by greed, power is money and without it we can't eat, The confessions of a broken heart, a damaged pedal on a rose falling apart, that's what we are, wether we know it or not, God bless those who made it, as I struggle to find you... I hope I make it, I got to change it up, this has been on my mind for quite some time, I just want to see you again, I want to look into your eyes, I wish this all made sense, There isn't much I can do honestly I just want to hold you, forget it tho I know you don't feel the same I'm so insecure I feel lame as shit, dang, Speak to me show some emotion, that's what I'm all about baby show me how you feel, believe me I can make it better at least allow me to understand, this game we are playing is crazy, you got me chasing you should I stop or should I try harder damn, Now I'm reconsidering my purpose I love the chase I know it's worth it, But a wise man told me know the value of time, some of the realest words from any man in any age any time, Where do we go from here , and what matters most, I speculate often and talk about possibilities with spirits, my idols their ghosts, They tell me I gotta figure it out on my own, build my own empire, rule on my own throne, I just hope one day I feel satisfied and find what I've been looking for all this time, I wish that for anybody going through these same frames in these uncertain times, Traveling to new places won't change the problem you can't escape fate and the devil is too smart to let you rob him, The illness injected into our thoughts cannot be processed alone, The venom is too strong to detoxify we only have one hope, come together and keep the faith, represent all as one and change the game, this is our plan for redemption the Holy Spirit resides in us and now we are equipped with our secret weapon, I hope the future is bright, I pray for forgiveness, I don't want to feel alone anymore, I want to achieve meaning, I want to see the light, Night.

The Uncontrollable Rant / Confessions & Other Things