deepundergroundpoetry.com
Aureate Odyssey
Aureate Odyssey
I love that skirt
She corrects me and says its
Canary
because it makes me come calling with a song
I rush to her, again
Miss the repeated aurulent signs
I ignore them all when it comes to having her
Swerve across the tawny divide separating us
Flattened
Jaundiced rays seep through my fading consciousness
Translucent memories burn in effigy
Presented in the YELLOW THINGS competition hosted by anna_grin
I love that skirt
She corrects me and says its
Canary
because it makes me come calling with a song
I rush to her, again
Miss the repeated aurulent signs
I ignore them all when it comes to having her
Swerve across the tawny divide separating us
Flattened
Jaundiced rays seep through my fading consciousness
Translucent memories burn in effigy
Presented in the YELLOW THINGS competition hosted by anna_grin
Published 10th Jul 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 9
reads 871
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th Jul 2013 12:32pm
10th Jul 2013 12:46pm
Thanks for the feedback DH ... this one just came after a wonderful night with mi reina, and yes she was wearing that yellow skirt lol
LSP
LSP
You know what's funny... I've started writing a poem about a denim skirt and some very long legs. Men are such simple creatures.
I really enjoyed this piece, very creative snapshot of a man's shortfall to resist an alluring bird.
I really enjoyed this piece, very creative snapshot of a man's shortfall to resist an alluring bird.
10th Jul 2013 8:48pm
Shortfall and death in this case lol ... The challenge was to describe something yellow - so not only did I want to talk about the skirt she has ... but how I race through yellow cautionary signs along the roadway to my demise in a crash ...
Thanks for the read and feedback.
LSP
Thanks for the read and feedback.
LSP
11th Jul 2013 9:34am
lol sorry mate.... it's clear now, but at 3am in the morning I read a completely different poem. It still kicks!
11th Jul 2013 2:46am
"Jaundiced rays seep through my fading consciousness"<--what a beautiful creative line!
Lovely piece...written wonderfully! Xo
Good luck with the comp.
Lovely piece...written wonderfully! Xo
Good luck with the comp.
11th Jul 2013 3:42am
Thank you Rain for the read & support ... This was a fun challenge that just flowed xo
LSP
LSP
12th Jul 2013 5:59pm
This is wonderful, the first stanza was brilliant, and really caught my attention.
Great piece.
Great piece.
12th Jul 2013 7:07pm
Thank you for the read CC ... and the encouraging feedback.
Writing this felt great.
LSP
Writing this felt great.
LSP
