what to lose

A broken heart a broken home..
 A mother in wheelchair since the oldest hit the age of six..
A beat dead father who didn't really cared.
 Walked out on family children of three and women who never broke the vow of always being there..
 The oldest tortured by the thought of finding her passed away..
 The last thing he did before that was argue with her and sliced away..

The regret of all he has done will never overwhelm with losing the one he loved..
 So he sits and looks at the scar on his forearm in disgrace..
Knowing he was wrong and hates the fact he was out of place..
The thought of telling his younger siblings tortured him as well..
 Now all he can think about is how his dad put her through hell..

He sits and wonders day dreams of what he would do..
If his father walked up to him and blamed him for what he was put through..
He feels hated by his father no words were ever spoke..
 He knows if he had to ask for a hug or anything he would choke..

He sits now lost and only finding comfort in the darkness of the night..
 Hoping that maybe one day a girl who could love him will help him fight..
Remembering insults retard and more..
The ice pick he shoved through her back will now sit in his throat..

Verbal abuse and mental no doubt..
  Will put a man on his knees with faith and throw it out..Verbal abuse and mental no doubt you can never forget the physical that brought the beast out..
Tortured by it all the oldest knows he will burn..
But at this moment all that he has done and lost couldn't get no worste...