Just Started

My neck stiffens
From the base of my bed’s hardness
And too many dinners alone
And too many blank stares
And too many tears wasted.
It’s been 16 years
Since I was chosen
To continue this path
Of joy and laughter,
Of challenge and sacrifices.
From the beginning it’s just
Been us two
Continuing with my absent minded smile
And blissful ignorance.
But as I grow older,
It’s been harder to forget
The person who gave me
Half of my face,
Half of my body,
And supposedly half of my heart.
And my heart wrenches
At how a fucking Summa Cum Laude
Couldn’t muster the courage
To see the face of his own daughter
Of his own flesh
Of his own touch
Of his own mistake.
And it’s not that I never
Had this burden,
But it is its notice
That seemed to just start
Growing.

And I can’t go back.