Memories

Reflecting back on life experiences is a soul bearing process. We must first become vulnerable to understand and grasp the lessons that life has given the opportunity to teach us. It is up to us to recognize these vices and decide in what way we choose to deal with them.

Some memories no matter how desperately we have tried to suspend into nonexistence are incessantly springing forth into perpetual animation. Though time always ticks forward, the human mind is capable of becoming entangled in the relentless continuum called the past. Is it the past that renders us emotionally incapable of letting go?

Memories like time are bittersweet. On one side the pendulum swings towards a bitter curse limited only by mortal time. The other side imparts glimpses into the sweet dripping honey of cherished days gone by. I am living in today by holding onto the precious memories of yesterday. I can not help but to yearn desperately for the trusting innocence of those days long gone.

Although I now know to love with a wise passion, I have come to the realization that one must approach love with great caution. Giving your whole heart away to someone is giving that person the power to destroy you from within. To break your spirit down into a nothingness that exposes your innermost core. Love is nothing more than a curse wrapped up in "feel good" emotions. When freely given it is eventually replaced with an indescribable sadness.

I once heard a wise man say that to love someone is also to hate them. In retrospect, I can appreciate the depth in his statement. I did not approach love with discretion, I naively gave all of my heart freely and it has since been handed back to me a broken hollow shell of what it once was. No matter how much I have loved, I have learned to hate just the same. A difficult life lesson never to be repeated again, no matter what the cost.

None of us are the same person we once were. Due to our personal experiences and newfound wisdom, we have evolved in the best way that we know how. We simply realize that we MUST go on. We must attempt to build ourselves back up from the crumbled foundation born of our naive indiscretions. Never to be the same again, molded into an adaptation of our instinctual will to survive...