deepundergroundpoetry.com

Box of Secrets

My heart always closed
Secrets always locked inside
To reveal them
Is to go against my nature

I shall start off simple
With one most have considered
Some have attempted
And a few have succeded

Numerous time I have tought of suicide
The simplicity of slicing my arm open with my knife
How it would feel to hang myself with my belt
Would it hurt if I ran full speed into my cement wall

I have thought of a creative way
And of a way that screams "I needed help"

I could hook some barbed wire to a bridge
Tie the other end around my neck
Super glue my hands to my head
And jump
So in this case
It would appear as if I ripped of my head

I could also go to the zoo
Release all of the animals
Walk to the middle of the zoo
Scream out "I'm out y'all"
And simply
Cut my throat open

When my mind goes down this path
There is only two things I have found to relieve it
Cranking up the Metal music while doing physical training
Or Poetry
Naturally I turn to poetry anymore
But sometimes I still use the other method

I have another secret
And I am fairly sure
Not many guys have this one
But you never know

Seeing how utterly and totally pathetic men are
Has made me seriously think
What would being a woman feel like
Would it be better or worse than being a man

After all
Being who I am now has yet to get me anywhere
I am a gentleman
Following all the old fashioned "rules"
That's what you get
When you are an Old Fashioned Romantic

Now for the secret
That I have kept for so many years
The only reason I am releasing it now
Is so I don't release it at a bad time
This secret has ate at me
Like an acid

...

In all honesty
I was planning on writing it
In actuality
I did write it
Then I reviewed it
And I got this feeling
Like a searing flame in my gut
My heart rose into my throat
And I knew
I had to delete it before I posted it

I will relinquish this secret eventually
My mind just can't let the box in my heart open that much

It is now time to close the box
Lock away the secrets once again
If you follow my poetry close enough
And you find connections
You may
Have unlocked another secret that I left as a message