Relapse?

The most recent
Burns on my thighs
Dripping with pain
The irritated flesh
Surrounding my self inflicted wounds
Appear to be a compliment to the
Beautiful disaster that are my legs
The nerves being forced to awake
My surrounding tissue has the
Illusion of being numb yet it is
Still sending waves of emotions
Alerting my brain to cry
Although that is what I wanted
The "13's" on my body pushing tears
Through my cuts and my eyes
The sting isn't enough
After all my marks with blades
The closest tool I could find 
Was the device that sent 
Quiet screams through 
My clenched jaw
The ink of a black pen
Mixing; causing strange coloration
In my blood
Creating a compound between the two
Thicker than ink
Thinner than blood
Turning  what was 
My human blood
Into black ooze 
Drooling from the 
Mouths of my wounds
Leaking
Draining the poison
Letting the snake out
Letting the demons out
Releasing what can't be contained
What is innocence?
Its been so long 
I seem to have forgotten
How to be happy without 
A blade 
Dull or otherwise
What is sanity?
Because I lost mine
Between the loss of innocence and now
I am probably better off
Without it
Because leaving in this world
With sanity is just enough
To drive ANYONE insane