Rock Bottom Home

Truth is—I’m a junkie with too many
Half-tamed addictions and excuses—
Not reasons,
For why I chose to stay at the bottom
Once I hit it.
For why I didn’t get up and climb back
To the top again.
But why climb to the place you’ve
Crashed from more than once?
It just makes more sense,
Why not stay in the spot you’ll
Only end up in again?
Falling from the top onto rocks is
More painful, ask yourself if maybe
The rocks are where you belong?
That maybe it’s possible rock bottom
Was where you were meant to be
From the start?
Climbing back to the top, well—
That’s when you’re just pretending
To be something you’re not.
And why pretend to be anything other
Than what you know you are?
I’m a junkie and my addictions run
     [ Wild. ]
It’s been ages since the last time my
Fixations were half-tamed and now
They resist every attempt I’ve made
To leash them, rein them in but
Hey—
At least at rock bottom, there’s plenty
Of other monkeys
To keep them in good company.
Today,
I’ve given up on climbing.