Marathon

The universe and I are under a strict don't ask don't tell policy
I never get the answers, but I find the false discovery
immaculate
gutted under the swollen bosom of a new moon
what appeared to be a setback
became my life's latest
inside joke
and I can't quit smiling.
you did it again.
so clever.
so unexpected.
for all the tales I have spun none have amounted
to the intricate nuance
of the actual
real
lived
moment
for life is far too striking
she strikes again and again
flares in sudden cosmic swirls and sweeps by
at the most brilliantly inconvenient times
to remind you
that there is something more to the stars
that what our minds can grasp
while toppled on hills with
misguided magical
musings
to give us solace through the night.

i can taste it now.
that flavor only achieved
through a slow burn
simmered in the potent  longings
of a  hopeless romantic
doomed to walk alone

yet doom can be lovely too.

and longing can enrich the journey
if fervent passion for the next move
always keeps us forward.

i never meant to make your skin crawl.
i only wished the rate at which my neurons fire
to be felt within my gaze

and i think you saw it.

i think you felt it
and something shifted and for someone who had stood still so long it scared you.
i have spent my entire life running but never away.
always into the narrow corridors
that others would not explore for fear of loosing themselves along the way.

I have been loosing myself my whole life.
only to find someone new waiting behind the thin barrier
barricading the fluctuating
from the essential
unmovable
core
and I find the feeling
to be more authentic
when i let it slide.

when i stop defining and whining and step up to face the challenge.

it's going to be ok lover. one day you will find another runner