Always number 2

Always number two
Never number one
I guess that was implied
But fuck you because I'm far from done

Said she didn't want to lead me on
That it was no fault of mine
But this wasn't going anywhere
So down the hatch go copious pills and wine

I know I shouldn't care this much
I know I move too fast
I know I'm an intolerable asshole
Just by looking at my past

I wish she'd say she hated me
So that I could hate her back
Hate is better than misery
But I like her too much to go on the attack

I used up all my tears
I can no longer cry
How I crave that true release
So I'll hold my eyelids open until they're stinging and dry

Now I sit here and write a poem
Maybe I'll send it to her tomorrow
In the hope that words can change things
And reverse this hollowing sorrow

Nothing really left to say
Hopefully I can sleep
Goodnight, good morning I don't care
Once again, I'm a creep