deepundergroundpoetry.com
Long live
Rainbows dance, ducking close, close, and then away;
mutated grass blades stand stainless steel sharp,
a thousand shades of red.
Shredded rays of moonlight limp through the window
with a spiritless final struggle of physics.
The birthplace of the paranormal:
this is where it all began,
so listen carefully.
Air secrets sulphur inside his cloak of copper wires;
electricity bearing popularity in this new age.
You aren't safe here, I told you to run
when the wind began to howl:
"Long live, long live, long live"
they were never talking to us.
So when the ashes rise and are caught upon a breath,
promise me this: Live long.
Live long, live long, live longest.
mutated grass blades stand stainless steel sharp,
a thousand shades of red.
Shredded rays of moonlight limp through the window
with a spiritless final struggle of physics.
The birthplace of the paranormal:
this is where it all began,
so listen carefully.
Air secrets sulphur inside his cloak of copper wires;
electricity bearing popularity in this new age.
You aren't safe here, I told you to run
when the wind began to howl:
"Long live, long live, long live"
they were never talking to us.
So when the ashes rise and are caught upon a breath,
promise me this: Live long.
Live long, live long, live longest.
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likes 12
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comments 26
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Re: Long live
Anonymous
25th May 2013 00:53am
Well-crafted scenes/sounds of the paranormal, Scribbler. Great read & liked the first two stanzas, especially. :)
Carlene
Carlene
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Re: Long live
25th May 2013 2:09am
A deep one Scribbler, it thinks so many ways...so love Your crypts!!!
Excellent write!!!
Excellent write!!!
1
Re: Long live
25th May 2013 5:37am
Beautiful flow of words- though I did get lost after the first two stanzas. But those first two are wonderful- as if Isaac Newton had been a poet.
1
Re: Long live
Re: Long live
25th May 2013 6:14am
Slightly dark, a dreamscape, what you are best at. Contrasts beautifully with the tender words in the closing.
*sigh* this one as me envious...
*sigh* this one as me envious...
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Re: Long live
25th May 2013 6:22am
God, you are Incredible, Scribbler!
The way you manipulate your words and mold your lines to produce unique thoughts in the reader's mind is amazing!Xo
The way you manipulate your words and mold your lines to produce unique thoughts in the reader's mind is amazing!Xo
1
Re: Long live
Anonymous
25th May 2013 8:54am
Colourful extraterrestrial description... awesome imagination. Well written, absolutely.
But this may sound familiar to you but third paragraph and onwards almost felt " Take my, hold it tight, for tonight is the end of all we know" type of context...
I hope I got it right lol hehehe... really cool;)
But this may sound familiar to you but third paragraph and onwards almost felt " Take my, hold it tight, for tonight is the end of all we know" type of context...
I hope I got it right lol hehehe... really cool;)
1
re: Re: Long live
25th May 2013 12:58pm
Re: Long live
25th May 2013 11:55am
I'm not going to lie.... I think its written nicely, good imagery and what not, but I'm not sure I understand this piece.. maybe I'm losing my touch haha
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re: Re: Long live
25th May 2013 12:57pm
You're not, it wasn't very well thought out.
It was more of a dreamscape sort of write,
mind wanderings, danger inside the unnoticed;
but no real poetic depth :)
It was more of a dreamscape sort of write,
mind wanderings, danger inside the unnoticed;
but no real poetic depth :)
Re: Long live
25th May 2013 1:01pm
As always I love it, Morag and her sidekick would be proud haha! But very well written :) xox
1
Re: Long live
Anonymous
25th May 2013 9:10pm
Fantastic poem!
Like a channeled poem from the psychic worlds.....
the wind, yes the wind was very important in the pre christian beliefs...it was supposed to hold messages, tell a tale and much much more
Like a channeled poem from the psychic worlds.....
the wind, yes the wind was very important in the pre christian beliefs...it was supposed to hold messages, tell a tale and much much more
1
re: Re: Long live
25th May 2013 11:09pm
Re: Long live
27th May 2013 5:56am
re: Re: Long live
27th May 2013 6:51am
Re: Long live
7th Jun 2013 4:30pm
Outstanding use of imagery. "Shredded rays of moonlight limp through the window
with a spiritless final struggle of physics."
Love that. Great write dear :)
with a spiritless final struggle of physics."
Love that. Great write dear :)
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