The Pain You Caused

If you were in my shoes you would undersand,
If you understood the pain i go through everyday,
You would understand..
But your not in my shoes,
and you dont understand,
So how can you say that you do?
You should be there for me when i need you,
But your not....
And he isnt either.
You suffercate me,
You left me stranded when i need you the most.
I trusted you before.
Now i cant even look at you without the hate running through my veins.
You wonder why im like this,
You wonder why im different
You cant help me now because im to far gone.
Im nothing to you anymore and you want to keep it that way.
Why Cant you see im dying
EVERY time you say "i love you" It kills me.
Because i know its not true.
I hate the fact that you dont understand,
and i hate the fact that you treat me like a monster child...

When i see you with her.
It kills me even more.
When i see him crying because of you.
It shoots me in the heart.
When i look at both of your lives,
And you say you have it BAD
Well you dont.
You never went to rehab,
You never cut yourself or tried to kill yourself.
You never did anything like that.
All you did was drugs and thought you were "Badass"
Well mom....I hate to say it....But i have a bad life.
Worse then yours.
You have been nothing but selfish and stuck up sence you've been with her.
I do love you...and i do want to be in your life
But please.....change for me?