deepundergroundpoetry.com
O-in-E...
Within
a dream's
rapturous
confines
in the mind,
there's
an image
one can find
of an angel,
god sent to be
in the heart
as you
sing her song
'honey' coated it
in melody
as sweet tunes
of love everlasting
in the soul
you feel the ache
of her absence
if it came to be
that if
even for a moment
with one little glance
you can see
she is he,
and he is her
as together
they have become
a ONE single soul entity...
a dream's
rapturous
confines
in the mind,
there's
an image
one can find
of an angel,
god sent to be
in the heart
as you
sing her song
'honey' coated it
in melody
as sweet tunes
of love everlasting
in the soul
you feel the ache
of her absence
if it came to be
that if
even for a moment
with one little glance
you can see
she is he,
and he is her
as together
they have become
a ONE single soul entity...
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likes 10
reading list entries 2
comments 20
reads 1082
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 6:46am
Why use "She is he" with good grammar and then use "He is her?" I can see how it sort of rhymes with "together" that way, but it seems kind of distracting from the nice flow of your poem. Just curious because it seemed intentional.
0
re: Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 1:35pm
Ur right it is intentional, n I THOUGHT obvious
but I was simply, going outside the box with an informal way if pointing out that THEY are one lol... Sorry if it messed with u a lil, but I'm always breakin' the 'rules' of writ in' in some form or fashion! lol that be just I do! lol thanks for the time n comment, I truly appreciate it. :)
but I was simply, going outside the box with an informal way if pointing out that THEY are one lol... Sorry if it messed with u a lil, but I'm always breakin' the 'rules' of writ in' in some form or fashion! lol that be just I do! lol thanks for the time n comment, I truly appreciate it. :)
Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 8:00am
re: Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 1:37pm
Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 4:24pm
Kind of an abridged version of the Trinity. The Father, and the Visiting Angel....Okay, I'll buy it....
0
Re: O-in-E...
that'll be four hundred n fifty nine thousand dollars! l.o.l...
seriously, I thank you kindly sir, n I truly appreciate your support... :)
seriously, I thank you kindly sir, n I truly appreciate your support... :)
Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 6:05pm
This sums it all up"she is he,
and he is her
as together
they have become
a ONE single soul entity..." Nice!
Red
and he is her
as together
they have become
a ONE single soul entity..." Nice!
Red
0
re: Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 6:15pm
I'm happy you got my summing it up :)
sure not surprised though because
ur such a receptive lady! :)
Thank u always my friend
Appreciate u :)
sure not surprised though because
ur such a receptive lady! :)
Thank u always my friend
Appreciate u :)
Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 6:35pm
Great write, Awesome ending Bro.
Really liked the read!
Pen On!!!
Sir Lancelott
Really liked the read!
Pen On!!!
Sir Lancelott
0
re: Re: O-in-E...
21st May 2013 00:38am
Re: O-in-E...
20th May 2013 7:38pm
re: Re: O-in-E...
21st May 2013 00:40am
Re: O-in-E...
Anonymous
20th May 2013 10:59pm
Such an elegant piece of emotional poetics! Another feel-good poem of yours, Poetikmind. A truly nice way to start my day! :)
Carlene
Carlene
0
re: Re: O-in-E...
21st May 2013 00:43am
I'm happy it made you feel good n I truly
appreciate all the support my dear :)
appreciate all the support my dear :)
Re: O-in-E...
21st May 2013 4:14pm
re: Re: O-in-E...
22nd May 2013 00:50am
Thank u my sweet one! I'm happy you enjoyed this ink n appreciate ur support always! :)
re: Re: O-in-E...
23rd May 2013 11:37am
Re. O-in-E...
2nd Jun 2016 6:18pm
A beautiful flowing compostion. I like the use of unconventional word couplings in "he is her" and how it ties into "together" especially. Namaste.
1
Re: Re. O-in-E...
3rd Jun 2016 00:34am