That little boy was as strong as a man.

One minute you say you love someone then the next your heart's broken and you go to someone new it would be fine once but it's just a cycle for you.
You look such a fool running round with all them dudes.
It’s such a shame i used to be like you.
Back in the old school i was so immature
Thinking lust was love
If only i knew the little bitches i was dating saying “i love you” too
Were so immature they let their dicks steer the way
I lost it in vain
i gave up my all my entire being
only to find the little bitch already know what he was doing.
I told him to stop but it was too late and i was silenced with a blow to my face
I got lost in the drugs and the ecstasy of letting a BOY have his way with me
He wasn't even mature enough to be a man about it.
And let me control or at least have a say in  what he was doing to my body and soul.
I watched my own body and soul being violated and all i could do
was just get hit more if i tried to stop it and scream out
This little boy was as strong as a man.
This little boy was lost in his hideous own mind control game.
It took awhile for me to to get out almost 18 months, a year and a half.
since i was being so ignorant of how this was so wrong.
I thought it was love
The road i took to seemingly recover only got me lower.
Drinking and smoking were an everyday thing.
A different guy almost weekly
tossing around “i love you”  just as a word never knowing the meaning of that foreign word love.
Just a word to get all over with to make a guy happy.
That’s all i thought i was good for.
It took a suicide scare to get me to understand i’m more than that.
I can do what I want and feel what i feel
No need to let a guy dictate me to what i can and cannot do.
I have my own mind and my own heart that's supposed to make me love me. So why not. Why can't i? When will I be able to let myself strive.