nutsHell

A shell is what I am,
I have no soul,  
I see hell everywhere I go.
Evil negative; are my shoes half empty with blood?  
Is that how I should think?
The poisons delicious,  
I've heard worse excuses to drink!
 
Pissin pink,  
drinkin' gas,  
swallow matches,  
nothing happens,  
tempting wolves,  
I ask for death  
but my wish hasn't been granted yet.
 
Is there one with a sadder fate?  
I wanna let it flow  
but it coagulates,  
let it go,
 
It boomerangs just outta my reach,  
Broken mind; no hands, no feet.  
 
The path I walk naked,
full of thorns grease and razors,  
I'm cold torn and faceless,  
listless, useless, filled with hatred.
 
Sippin cyanid, tryin to find something stronger,
Been swimming toward the light but there's darkness in the water.
 
Then it turns to quicksand  
all I wanna do is sink man,  
follow the voice of singing angels
I find fairy tales and fables,  
runnin' flyin' a lead kite in a thunderstorm,  
freezing feelin warm,  
 
In fact burning at the steak,  
a fate worse than death is a death worse than fate.  
 
The last breath I take,  
I swear I'll give it right back,  
all I wanna do is wake up,  
I see nightmares with my eyes shut.
 
Find what? I'm not lookin' anymore,  
I'd cry but,  
I can't do it anymore,  
I'd try but,  
I see my fluid on the floor,
I'm tied up, bleeding  
As they shut the basement door behind em'.
 
I hate this sensation,  
on edge and medication,  
feeling nervous,  
breathing electrical currents.  
 
I'm walkin then I stagger,  
tryin to stop makes the fall happen faster,  
I'm a useless bastard,  
why God bothered makin me is beyond me,
He works in mysterious ways,  
I must be one of the mysteries,
 
I wanna give the ghost up, I want my eyes to close shut,
my minds eyes see black and give the earth it's dust back.
 
My greed grief and guile,
My filth face and smile,
None of its worthwhile,  
I'm a guilty verdict to an innocent trial,
 
I'm the hangman's dreams,
I'm a rapists kiss,  
I'm the first degree scheme,  
the cancer in the cyst,
I'm glowing eyes in pitch black,  
And the dictators fist,
I'm a gun in a locker,
I'm a note,
I'm a list.
 
I'm the murder victims patience, suicidal frustrations,  
contusions,  
laceration,  
confusion,  
basket cases,
 
I'm Gods left hand,  
I'm sleep's closest cousin,  
I'm revenge served cold,
I'm the one who could but doesn't.