holding on to hope

It's been ten years since, but it seems like yesterday.
I was posted on the wall with another and saw you for the first time walking in the hallway.
The time has flown by, all throughout plenty of ups and downs.
The day draws nearer as I will no longer have you around.
I never in my life needed a woman for validation.
But I've always had my wife for love and collaboration.
I need you. I love you to no end.
And though I never stopped a new love begins.
I will live to be the man you love.
The one that practices what he preaches, and cherishes God above.
The one that washes dishes and gives the bathroom a scrub.
This time apart, however short has been the ultimate sacrifice, because I love you and I'm letting go, looking at a possible future I don't know. 1 week without you and your presence, has been like 2 years alone with unknown absence.
Although I have no fears, I've spent many days and just as many nights in tears.
Thinking about everyone I've lost and the prevalent possibility of losing you.
Hoping that I'm dreaming and that this one never comes true.
For anytime I've mistreated you, honey I apologize, I wish to atone for past mistakes, the hurt the disappointment, the anger, and now the demise.
Lately, emotionally and physically I've been lonely, it's been God, and me spiritually that's currently carrying me.
I wake up in sweats dreaming of what's next.
Not being able to hold you at night when I roll, realizing I'm in an empty bed has been the toll.
I sit up most nights thinking about you, losing sleep hoping we can get us back.
I hold on to hope and faith as they keep me on track.
Currently as a man the only plant worth cultivating is love.
I don't just love you, I'm still passionately IN love with you.
There's such a strain on me being away from you.
I hardly eat, I rarely sleep.
Having to live with my decisions is what cuts so deep.
Everything I've said is beyond true.
Every time my phone goes off i hope it's you.
It's been too long since I've heard your voice, and felt your touch.
Losing you and your love is closing in and it's becoming a bit much.
I just want you to be the one I wake up to every morning, and no longer want either of our hearts in mourning.