Mattresses on the floor

I hear her talk
about getting pretty heavy
but always backing out
she’s a virgin
and I wonder what that feels like,
a moment destined to be special
with bated breath
you’re wondering
is it time
am I ready yet?
well I remember
dark hallow bedrooms
mattresses on the floor
I don’t know when it happened first
but I know
it happened before
so I’m not too sure
up till what point
what age
I was still a virgin,
ill conceived notions
expectant emotions
shot down in seconds,
I hear her talk
about when it happens
how special it’s going to be
and I feel like crying
inside I’m dying
for something
greater than I’ll ever be
virginity.