Now, here I am

I lived in a world of sorrow
My past's conception comes back
All around me, they live tomorrow
My true self, within me, I lack
The flowers I once knew to be red
have darkened to a dead mix of gray
As people pass by, I watch with a sigh
as they trample my liveliness away
I look up, and the sky overtakes me
the world is amass with the structures
And all that I see, I'd rather not be
like those who trash it away

The world is different from who my real self
says that I am and some more
For living with mental conditions helps not
for what I have to really endure
I listen to music to drown out the voices
and it helps, oh, half of the time
but when I am not, they have seem to forgot
what I have and how much that I shine

Oh look upon me, you precious and few
padded by bills in your seats
as I am a man capable of a plan
to throw you out in the streets