Parking Lot Defeat

My texts were littered with typos and spelling mistakes, I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. My thoughts were racing faster than I could organize and I could feel my chest as it caved in, I could feel my insides crumbling.
                   Deep breath.

In that parking lot I swear she punched a hole in my chest, filling it with every insecurity and every regret I've ever had. She watched me drown in it and struggle for air. She's gone, the queen is dead and she left an empty throne. I loved the one who never loved me, now I don't love her anymore. I was wearing codependent chains around my ankles and I've finally been set free. She broke my heart enough this time, there aren't any pieces left to love her with. I'll never forgive her for any of this and for those promises she said she wouldn't break but did.

I loved the one who never saw me, even screaming her name she'd never glance this way. I ignored every lie and overlooked stories that didn't add up because I thought if I did, that maybe you would. Was it just the drugs? It seems that's all we ever had, what will my days look like without you around? Everything will work out, things are better this way. They have to be.. they have to be.