Abuse Times Three

I remember that girl
And all the things she did at thirteen
Without thinking that her future
Would be shaped by her past

She grew up so urgently
But was just a kid lost in life
She got caught in a web of lies
That kept tangling around her ankles

You thought she was dating boys
But she was educated on emotions
And found that there was a reason
For her lack of opposite sex attraction

Desperate to prove her worth
She searched for validation
From every avenue she could travel
Losing her innocence like she could replace it

As she turned fourteen
You could see she was in trouble
But to the extent of her self-destruction
You were kept blissfully innocent because

She gave you an excuse for each bruise
When they really had a girl's name
And she just wanted to escape
The cycles of abuse and self-abuse

His twenty-two years
Lusted after her with wandering hands
Taking advantage of the holes in her life
That she thought he could fill

Her mind will block away and lock up
All knowledge of his actions
For the next few years causing
A seemingly reasonless life ending attempt

Pills were pumped out of her system
To put the right ones in
Weekly trips to the shrink
Resulted in yet another diagnosis

You see her life start to mellow
No longer outwardly turbulent
She seems to be starting to fit in
And she even seems to have friends

She’s blowing out 15 candles
And everyone thinks it is behind her
But she has a new secret
And she knows how to hide it

This secret isn't one of harm
Or half assed attempts
To glue together her pieces
But of love's sweet innocence

It was all perfect in the moment
Until she got careless and sloppy
She wrote it all out for her memory
In a journal without a key

Their lives turned inside out
In a torrential and violent blur
Love was enough in the beginning
But in the end they crashed and burned

She lost her lover
And her parents sent her to be cured
Therapy started supportive
Until it had her feeling secure

And at the same time
She was confined to a chair with wheels
Reliant on the ones who
Took away what gave her strength

This is a year she doesn’t want to remember
Besides the memories saturated
With tangible happiness
But they are tainted by hate that she will never forget

Sixteen is when she started to try
And find happiness in herself
Not from places with empty promises
And how to see the beauty in the chaos

But she let flatter out talk reason because
She loved how she felt when she felt needed
Then memories of his lust returned
And she needed this love even more

She gave away everything
Because she thought he already took purity
And that she was damaged goods
On a shelf for the unwanted clearance

The relationship got deeper
And so did the hole she was in
The distance began to grow
Though she denied that truth

Sixteen turned seventeen
And the fights became heated
She was afraid to say the wrong thing
Or to forget asking permission

Because the threat of suicide
Would be thrown in her face
Or she would be shamed
Behind closed doors where nobody could see

Finally she found strength
To leave the relationship she should
Never have gotten in
But not before it had done its damage

Once again in six months
She came to know of abuse
After missing all the signs
And ignoring all the concerns

She isn’t very strong
But she isn’t weak
She has been hardened
By abuse times three