deepundergroundpoetry.com
Let me be
I'm depressed.
I'm down in the dump.
I can't seem to pick myself up.
I want to cry.
All those tears are sitting right there.
I'm patiently waiting for them to fall.
When they fall I hope they make a whirlpool.
A whirlpool I can lay and die in.
I want to be left alone.
Alone to my own devices.
I don't want to be bothered.
I just want to die alone.
I'm down in the dump.
I can't seem to pick myself up.
I want to cry.
All those tears are sitting right there.
I'm patiently waiting for them to fall.
When they fall I hope they make a whirlpool.
A whirlpool I can lay and die in.
I want to be left alone.
Alone to my own devices.
I don't want to be bothered.
I just want to die alone.
Published 11th Apr 2013
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likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 3
reads 762
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Apr 2013 00:09am
Cry...get it out and let it go..your stronger than any sadness, remember you need the pain so you recognize whats good in this life, I myself have felt like this poem so I know that you have cry once in awhile it's freaking natural, the seasons of the mind....
write on poet
write on poet
Anonymous
12th Apr 2013 00:11am
You asked for honest critique.
The emotions you are expressing ring true as I have felt that way many times. The poem has a disjointed feel to it. To me, it seems you wrote this down in a hurry, so as not to forget your train of thought - I do that also. However, you may want to let this poem sit and then look at it in a week or so. We are all too close to our work and cannot figure out how to write it. But I see the potential in your poetry and I feel you will find the solution. Write on!
The emotions you are expressing ring true as I have felt that way many times. The poem has a disjointed feel to it. To me, it seems you wrote this down in a hurry, so as not to forget your train of thought - I do that also. However, you may want to let this poem sit and then look at it in a week or so. We are all too close to our work and cannot figure out how to write it. But I see the potential in your poetry and I feel you will find the solution. Write on!
12th Apr 2013 4:59pm
