Submissions by oliveoil1369
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
DRUGS POEM
Published
10th Jan 2015 2:35am
10th Jan 2015 2:35am
I Have Grown
I sit and look down upon old writings. When time was dark, mind was fogged, life in shambles. I laugh and cry, cringe and recall. I had given up on what made me human; what made me who I am. Relinquished my grasp on reality...to a monster within me.
I am now over a year free of the monster that overcame my being. I am able to sit comfortably, think clearly, and most of all, smile. I love who I am again. No more shadows or hiding behind tinfoil. I crave the sun once more.
The love that picked me up from the depths is no longer a love. Rather, a memory. No, not a fond memory;...
I am now over a year free of the monster that overcame my being. I am able to sit comfortably, think clearly, and most of all, smile. I love who I am again. No more shadows or hiding behind tinfoil. I crave the sun once more.
The love that picked me up from the depths is no longer a love. Rather, a memory. No, not a fond memory;...
824 reads
3 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
24th Oct 2013 11:58pm
24th Oct 2013 11:58pm
Oct. 23, 2013 ~ On a Wednesday...
It is noon (or close to it) on the third day of me sobriety. My fingers twitch and jolt about menacingly, as though their soul purpose is to detour their dexterity; to ensure no word of my self inflicted misery is ever left on a page. But they did not intend on my patience working for a change. I have, indeed, been out of contact, so to speak, for an extended length of time.
The bones in my legs ache for relief; my brain shouting their silence-for it too, yearns for the calming inhalation of narcotic fumes. Synapses shooting off in unknown directions, searching for some part of...
The bones in my legs ache for relief; my brain shouting their silence-for it too, yearns for the calming inhalation of narcotic fumes. Synapses shooting off in unknown directions, searching for some part of...
742 reads
2 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
28th Jun 2013 8:51pm
28th Jun 2013 8:51pm
f**k
Staring at the foil again;
Straw hanging to the side of my parted lips.
Lighter in hand, anticipating the high about to take me.
I hesitate at the sight;
My hands quiver as I inhale deeply; slowly.
Soon, hesitation is no longer a factor when I light my demon.
What started as a fun time,
Quickly took me by the soul and clenched its jaws down.
No future without it is seen, any longer.
I used to swear to never touch it.
My will was strong and my mind made up in stone.
Cursing out those close to me nodding in and out.
...
Straw hanging to the side of my parted lips.
Lighter in hand, anticipating the high about to take me.
I hesitate at the sight;
My hands quiver as I inhale deeply; slowly.
Soon, hesitation is no longer a factor when I light my demon.
What started as a fun time,
Quickly took me by the soul and clenched its jaws down.
No future without it is seen, any longer.
I used to swear to never touch it.
My will was strong and my mind made up in stone.
Cursing out those close to me nodding in and out.
...
760 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
28th Jun 2013 8:24pm
28th Jun 2013 8:24pm
Keep On Breaking
Cold, desolate, crumbled down on the ground.
Falling to pieces, breaking inch by inch.
Tear my flesh away with intent,
Feed it to the vultures and smiling faces;
Endless sea of drones and emotionless thems.
Picking, prodding, probing, dissecting what is left.
Burn off my tissue and muscle, slowly to ensure pain.
Break my bones and tell me you're sorry.
Look into my eyes as you break more.
Telling me I am already broken; damaged goods.
Do not concern yourself, my sweets.
My being broken will only break...
Falling to pieces, breaking inch by inch.
Tear my flesh away with intent,
Feed it to the vultures and smiling faces;
Endless sea of drones and emotionless thems.
Picking, prodding, probing, dissecting what is left.
Burn off my tissue and muscle, slowly to ensure pain.
Break my bones and tell me you're sorry.
Look into my eyes as you break more.
Telling me I am already broken; damaged goods.
Do not concern yourself, my sweets.
My being broken will only break...
570 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
28th Apr 2013 4:43am
28th Apr 2013 4:43am
Unnecessary
"I just want things to go back to the way they were," he said. It hurt. What exactly does that mean? How were "they" in his eyes, I wonder. What was it that I so coldly stole from him? Feeling pathetic is a colossal understatement at this point. I glance upon old photographs and quiver. I can't handle this. I spun a web of lies to trap him like a fly; all I wanted was his company. Then I realized, that I wanted him to be happy; wanted to make him happy.
So, I twirled him up in more lies-trying not to forget any spots. Trying to ensure he was warm and cozy. Then one...
So, I twirled him up in more lies-trying not to forget any spots. Trying to ensure he was warm and cozy. Then one...
695 reads
1 Comment
DRUGS POEM
Published
17th Apr 2013 2:33pm
17th Apr 2013 2:33pm
UnKnowing Friends
Smoking Heroin before I sleep.
Lucid dreams are my demon.
Powerful fists crumble at my sight.
UnKnowing of the sin within my being.
When Blow is caressing my chasms,
Work is numbed out; Replaced.
Weak men throwing paper.
UnKnowing of how many broken pieces...
I inhale Meth when spirits are low.
Opening my eyes to the problems ahead.
Controlling the path with nothing but will power.
UnKnowing of when it is meant to shatter.
Friends are white, brown, at times tan.
Friends come with pretty little...
Lucid dreams are my demon.
Powerful fists crumble at my sight.
UnKnowing of the sin within my being.
When Blow is caressing my chasms,
Work is numbed out; Replaced.
Weak men throwing paper.
UnKnowing of how many broken pieces...
I inhale Meth when spirits are low.
Opening my eyes to the problems ahead.
Controlling the path with nothing but will power.
UnKnowing of when it is meant to shatter.
Friends are white, brown, at times tan.
Friends come with pretty little...
782 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
15th Apr 2013 8:21pm
15th Apr 2013 8:21pm
A Letter To My Reflection
You are nothing. A tiny little speck of shit dirt, stuck to the underside of gum on Hitlers show; burning in hell. You are just as shallow as every other piece of shit on the street, that you half assed fantasize about running over with a car, or lobbing their heads off with a chainsaw. There is nothing more unique about you than the pink brand wearing fucks that you hate. Nothing special about a nothing.
Why even bother? OOOO!! Big fucking deal, you have metal in your face and wear all black. You are nothing more than those who wear all pink or blue; green or purple. You are NOT an...
Why even bother? OOOO!! Big fucking deal, you have metal in your face and wear all black. You are nothing more than those who wear all pink or blue; green or purple. You are NOT an...
783 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
8th Apr 2013 9:52pm
8th Apr 2013 9:52pm
Why?
Why?
It's the only question that matters,
It's the only question I have.
But I know why.
I know the answer to this seemingly unanswerable question.
It is because I "sinned" beyond all hope of redemption.
I am cursed to spend the rest of my life trying to pay-off an insurmountable debt to god, karma, the cosmos.
Whatever it is that you believe in.
Cursed to give and give and get little in return but blank stares and cold shoulders.
Drunk off of thoughts I shouldn't be thinking
Distracted by drinks I shouldn't be drinking
There's only one...
It's the only question that matters,
It's the only question I have.
But I know why.
I know the answer to this seemingly unanswerable question.
It is because I "sinned" beyond all hope of redemption.
I am cursed to spend the rest of my life trying to pay-off an insurmountable debt to god, karma, the cosmos.
Whatever it is that you believe in.
Cursed to give and give and get little in return but blank stares and cold shoulders.
Drunk off of thoughts I shouldn't be thinking
Distracted by drinks I shouldn't be drinking
There's only one...
639 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
8th Apr 2013 9:42pm
8th Apr 2013 9:42pm
Inner Monologue II
How did it get to this? How did I allow myself to become this far gone? What did I do wrong?...Why are there no answers? Too many lies to fallow. Too much hurt flowing through my veins for me to control. It was bound to infect you, my dear. Like it will everyone else throughout my lifetime.
Break all the beauty in my life-letting my disease taint it all.
This parasite that festers within my being, has left nothing but a shell. I exist to the average eye, but a closer look will reveal something unfathomably dark; empty. It has created a space that is unfulfillable. I cannot...
Break all the beauty in my life-letting my disease taint it all.
This parasite that festers within my being, has left nothing but a shell. I exist to the average eye, but a closer look will reveal something unfathomably dark; empty. It has created a space that is unfulfillable. I cannot...
778 reads
3 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
30th Mar 2013 8:29am
30th Mar 2013 8:29am
Simple
Just as simple as a sperm cell wrecking the wall to an unsuspecting egg; a trigger can be pulled.
"Life is precious", they say. Who the fuck are they?! People who don't give a fuck.
The very same people who drive you to put that gun to your head.
All there is do in life is breathe. Too short to spend it being someone you're not. So wipe that fucking smirk off your face; take the straw, lighter, hit, bump, bubble, kiss, shot, knife, needle, gun, and do to yourself what you please.
After all, everything we do on this planet is completely meaningless.
"Life is precious", they say. Who the fuck are they?! People who don't give a fuck.
The very same people who drive you to put that gun to your head.
All there is do in life is breathe. Too short to spend it being someone you're not. So wipe that fucking smirk off your face; take the straw, lighter, hit, bump, bubble, kiss, shot, knife, needle, gun, and do to yourself what you please.
After all, everything we do on this planet is completely meaningless.
690 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
30th Mar 2013 8:24am
30th Mar 2013 8:24am
f**k It
I am not in control;
of my thoughts,
words,
actions.
I do not control;
my life,
my soul,
my body.
There is a demon in me.
No fucks to be given.
No tears to be shed.
No thoughts of concern.
Nothing.
So save your breath;
I don't give a fuck.
of my thoughts,
words,
actions.
I do not control;
my life,
my soul,
my body.
There is a demon in me.
No fucks to be given.
No tears to be shed.
No thoughts of concern.
Nothing.
So save your breath;
I don't give a fuck.
631 reads
0 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
24th Feb 2013 4:42am
24th Feb 2013 4:42am
Concentrate
Brain pounding inside a steal cage,
No light allowed to enter;
Blood of the past trickling in through nothingness.
A fog there for cover,
Numb the brain;
cease the pounding.
Panic setting in. Numb yourself, concentrate.
Pain of the lost on the brain; Numb Damn It!
Emptiness a wishful hope, light at the end...
Black ink spills over that light; back to nothingness
Numb the brain, Numb...
No light allowed to enter;
Blood of the past trickling in through nothingness.
A fog there for cover,
Numb the brain;
cease the pounding.
Panic setting in. Numb yourself, concentrate.
Pain of the lost on the brain; Numb Damn It!
Emptiness a wishful hope, light at the end...
Black ink spills over that light; back to nothingness
Numb the brain, Numb...
856 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by oliveoil1369
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