Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
SELF POEM
Published
12th Sep 2023 9:08pm
12th Sep 2023 9:08pm
I Have To
I have to move on from my past.
It's hard, but I have to start somewhere.
I have to take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
I need to be serious about leaving the bullshit behind.
Serious about starting over.
It's not going to be easy, but then nobody ever said this process was going to be.
But I have to start somewhere.
Hopefully I will learn how to move on from them, from the relationships that have done me more harm than good.
Some days will be harder than others and I'm...
It's hard, but I have to start somewhere.
I have to take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
I need to be serious about leaving the bullshit behind.
Serious about starting over.
It's not going to be easy, but then nobody ever said this process was going to be.
But I have to start somewhere.
Hopefully I will learn how to move on from them, from the relationships that have done me more harm than good.
Some days will be harder than others and I'm...
#strength
#hope
#courage
#TimeHeals
#emotions
250 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
30th Aug 2023 1:55am
30th Aug 2023 1:55am
One Day
One day I won't be writing about you anymore. At least I hope that's how it happens. I hope one day I write these words and every single one does not loop around your name.
One day, these words won't be bleeding, they won't be soaked in the pain of losing you.
One day I'll write of other things and not of the time I lost my whole heart and everything else. I won't still feel you reaching in, ripping me into a different person.
But that's not the part that hurt ...
The part that hurt the most was you walking away like I was nothing but a stranger who was never...
One day, these words won't be bleeding, they won't be soaked in the pain of losing you.
One day I'll write of other things and not of the time I lost my whole heart and everything else. I won't still feel you reaching in, ripping me into a different person.
But that's not the part that hurt ...
The part that hurt the most was you walking away like I was nothing but a stranger who was never...
#sadness
#grief
#heartbroken #emptiness
#heartbroken #emptiness
279 reads
6 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
27th Jul 2023 2:28pm
27th Jul 2023 2:28pm
Soul Lost
You pass me on the street and our eyes briefly meet.
You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you,
I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank.
In the elevator you crack a joke, I flash a smile.
You have no idea that my heart is in denial.
You asked me how my day was and I say fine.
You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing if I should cross the line.
Once you lose your soul, there is no turning back.
Everything you once loved no longer has an impact.
People see the smile on your face,
They think you are happy. ...
You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you,
I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank.
In the elevator you crack a joke, I flash a smile.
You have no idea that my heart is in denial.
You asked me how my day was and I say fine.
You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing if I should cross the line.
Once you lose your soul, there is no turning back.
Everything you once loved no longer has an impact.
People see the smile on your face,
They think you are happy. ...
#sadness
#loneliness
#heartbroken #emptiness
#heartbroken #emptiness
287 reads
5 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
31st May 2023 1:03am
31st May 2023 1:03am
Disappear
While waking up
A sudden thought came across my mind
Nobody knew what I was thinking about
It was a thought anyone would have had at least once
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
As if I were never here
I wish I could not be here
Today I'm living as hard as I was yesterday
If I go on living as hard as I was yesterday
I might find a reason not to disappear
While the world was asleep
I stared out the window
And began thinking
I thought to myself
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
...
A sudden thought came across my mind
Nobody knew what I was thinking about
It was a thought anyone would have had at least once
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
As if I were never here
I wish I could not be here
Today I'm living as hard as I was yesterday
If I go on living as hard as I was yesterday
I might find a reason not to disappear
While the world was asleep
I stared out the window
And began thinking
I thought to myself
If I disappeared
If I were to disappear
...
#sadness
#anxiety
#grief
#loneliness
#emptiness
346 reads
6 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
25th May 2023 4:59pm
25th May 2023 4:59pm
Give Her Peace
Watching her fall apart
I cry because I need her back
Her body shakes as the cancer attacks
It's hard to see her go through this
She's my mom, the one I adore
Watching her slowly deteriorate
My tears fall to the floor
Screaming out to GOD,
GIVE HER PEACE
Please make her suffering go away
I can't stop this freight train
Oh what I'd give to stop her pain
My heart is breaking
I'll never be the same
I cry because I need her back
Her body shakes as the cancer attacks
It's hard to see her go through this
She's my mom, the one I adore
Watching her slowly deteriorate
My tears fall to the floor
Screaming out to GOD,
GIVE HER PEACE
Please make her suffering go away
I can't stop this freight train
Oh what I'd give to stop her pain
My heart is breaking
I'll never be the same
#sadness
#mother
#death #aging
#death #aging
271 reads
4 Comments
DRUGS POEM
Published
7th Apr 2023 5:19pm
7th Apr 2023 5:19pm
Blowout
It's like I've been trying to go somewhere my whole life.
But I've hit ... Every ... single ... Red light along the way.
My brakes are going on 20000 miles to early and I burn through way too much gas to justify the wear and tear on my motor. I've been spinning my wheels and getting nowhere for as long as I can remember. I'm running on fumes.
My tires are treadbare. My tires are only a blowout away from swerving headfirst into on coming traffic.
My dreams are in the passenger seat with a broken buckle, a drunken smile, and an empty bottle of bourbon that I...
But I've hit ... Every ... single ... Red light along the way.
My brakes are going on 20000 miles to early and I burn through way too much gas to justify the wear and tear on my motor. I've been spinning my wheels and getting nowhere for as long as I can remember. I'm running on fumes.
My tires are treadbare. My tires are only a blowout away from swerving headfirst into on coming traffic.
My dreams are in the passenger seat with a broken buckle, a drunken smile, and an empty bottle of bourbon that I...
#sadness
#regret
#frustration
#emptiness
#anxiety
425 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
2nd Apr 2023 6:01pm
2nd Apr 2023 6:01pm
I Knew
I think I knew it was getting bad again when a smile became more difficult to produce than a frown, and the room didn't light up when I was around.
When tears came silently,
Not creating any sound.
And I think I knew it was getting bad again
When my own internal clock stopped ticking,
And itching for joy became my favorite pastime.
When a laugh from my friends cost much more than a dime,
And I put on a smile with a grinning mouth that wasn't even mine.
And I understood things were getting bad again when my bed became more than a resting...
When tears came silently,
Not creating any sound.
And I think I knew it was getting bad again
When my own internal clock stopped ticking,
And itching for joy became my favorite pastime.
When a laugh from my friends cost much more than a dime,
And I put on a smile with a grinning mouth that wasn't even mine.
And I understood things were getting bad again when my bed became more than a resting...
#sadness
#rejection
#dark
#despair
#emptiness
384 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
23rd Mar 2023 8:42pm
23rd Mar 2023 8:42pm
Tick Tock
The clock ticks
Each second goes by
Slower than the next
And you wonder
When the clock will stop
As if it is your own time bomb
Just waiting to detonate
When will be your turn
Tick Tock
Memories race in your mind
Looking back through time
And you think
What happened to the good times
Why do I only see the bad?
Tick Tock
What to do anymore
I don't know
Do I just sit here
And wait for the inevitable destruction?
Tick Tock
Each second goes by
Slower than the next
And you wonder
When the clock will stop
As if it is your own time bomb
Just waiting to detonate
When will be your turn
Tick Tock
Memories race in your mind
Looking back through time
And you think
What happened to the good times
Why do I only see the bad?
Tick Tock
What to do anymore
I don't know
Do I just sit here
And wait for the inevitable destruction?
Tick Tock
#anxiety
#frustration
#disappointment
#emptiness
#boredom
269 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
22nd Mar 2023 7:45pm
22nd Mar 2023 7:45pm
My Daughter
She is my daughter ...
A young woman of iron and silk and unforgiving praise.
She is the measure of all I will never be,
She sees me and looks right through me..
She loves me with a barbed wire heart
Chaining me to relentless
Yearning of approval.
I would beat my head endlessly against a brick wall
To simply hear her say
" I love you "
" I'm proud of you "
Or that I'm good enough.
All measures of self-worth,
Are wrapped into my daughter.
The one who loves me enough ...
To tear me...
A young woman of iron and silk and unforgiving praise.
She is the measure of all I will never be,
She sees me and looks right through me..
She loves me with a barbed wire heart
Chaining me to relentless
Yearning of approval.
I would beat my head endlessly against a brick wall
To simply hear her say
" I love you "
" I'm proud of you "
Or that I'm good enough.
All measures of self-worth,
Are wrapped into my daughter.
The one who loves me enough ...
To tear me...
#heartbroken
#conflict
#betrayal
#IMissYou
#deception
235 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
20th Mar 2023 00:21am
20th Mar 2023 00:21am
You Could've Been Me
I could have been you ...
Take a look at the sky
Heaven seems so far away
I've stood under the rain
Felt it seep into my brain
I've shut my eyes
Crawled into the mud
I'm afraid of growing old
And shiver when I'm cold
I could have been you
You could have been me
One small change that shapes our destiny
We bleed the same way
If you need proof
Cut me and you will see
Take a walk inside my shoes
A path I did not choose
Change is turning into fear
Fear is melting into hate
Touch what I feel
And know...
Take a look at the sky
Heaven seems so far away
I've stood under the rain
Felt it seep into my brain
I've shut my eyes
Crawled into the mud
I'm afraid of growing old
And shiver when I'm cold
I could have been you
You could have been me
One small change that shapes our destiny
We bleed the same way
If you need proof
Cut me and you will see
Take a walk inside my shoes
A path I did not choose
Change is turning into fear
Fear is melting into hate
Touch what I feel
And know...
#hate
#rejection
#greed
#denial
#fear
227 reads
0 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
15th Mar 2023 3:19am
15th Mar 2023 3:19am
Best Life
I don't care if you live your 'best" life. I hope you live your freest life. You're most unburdened life. Your lightest life. I hope your life is a patchwork of lessons and trials and mistakes and growth. I hope you understand that rejection, failure , disappointment means you care, you're trying, You're out there in life, you're alive to do it.
I hope your life feels beautiful to you. More than it looks beautiful to everyone else. I hope you're free. And that you keep freeing yourself, from who you thought you should be, from who society told you to be.
I hope you know when you're...
I hope your life feels beautiful to you. More than it looks beautiful to everyone else. I hope you're free. And that you keep freeing yourself, from who you thought you should be, from who society told you to be.
I hope you know when you're...
#hope
#courage
#emotions
237 reads
2 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
11th Mar 2023 8:41pm
11th Mar 2023 8:41pm
Brenda's Land
Getting lost within my mind,
Not a healthy place to be.
So many dark and
Twisted thoughts,
That mock reality.
Most of them are memories,
I never will escape.
Some are fucking
landmines,
That want to see me break.
How much can I really
take,
Before I'm lost for good?
And when I'm gone,
Will anybody know that
I fought as hard as I
could?
Or will they think I just
gave up?
And does it really matter?
Some of us were never
meant for
Happily - Ever - After.
Not a healthy place to be.
So many dark and
Twisted thoughts,
That mock reality.
Most of them are memories,
I never will escape.
Some are fucking
landmines,
That want to see me break.
How much can I really
take,
Before I'm lost for good?
And when I'm gone,
Will anybody know that
I fought as hard as I
could?
Or will they think I just
gave up?
And does it really matter?
Some of us were never
meant for
Happily - Ever - After.
#sadness
#heartbroken
#emptiness
264 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)
