Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Hey
Hey ... It's me.
I just wanted to say that I miss you. I got to thinking yesterday and came across some pictures of us. I wanted to call but obviously I couldn't so I'm writing this letter instead.
I'm still full of questions and I'm not really sure if I'll have enough time to ask them.
But, umm ... Do you ever wonder about me, the way I wonder about you?
I wonder if you're all right cuz the last time we spoke you didn't seem all right.
But that's not my place anymore so I can't ask.
Do you ever think about what happened and wonder where we would...
I just wanted to say that I miss you. I got to thinking yesterday and came across some pictures of us. I wanted to call but obviously I couldn't so I'm writing this letter instead.
I'm still full of questions and I'm not really sure if I'll have enough time to ask them.
But, umm ... Do you ever wonder about me, the way I wonder about you?
I wonder if you're all right cuz the last time we spoke you didn't seem all right.
But that's not my place anymore so I can't ask.
Do you ever think about what happened and wonder where we would...
#rejection
#mother
#heartbroken
#conflict
#daughter
502 reads
3 Comments
Believe Me When I Say
It hurts when I look at you
Your chin raised so high
So full of self virtue
You don't even hear My cry
Your eyes are full of judgment
As you survey around
Your lips spill your disappointment
As my confidence you pound
Your words so critical
Delivered with a smile
Your opinion of me brutal
Your own mother you revile
For years I have tried
To earn more than your love
Needing your friendship, respect and pride
And receiving none of the above
Locked together by blood
Our families ties...
Your chin raised so high
So full of self virtue
You don't even hear My cry
Your eyes are full of judgment
As you survey around
Your lips spill your disappointment
As my confidence you pound
Your words so critical
Delivered with a smile
Your opinion of me brutal
Your own mother you revile
For years I have tried
To earn more than your love
Needing your friendship, respect and pride
And receiving none of the above
Locked together by blood
Our families ties...
#mother
#breakup
#memories
#separation
#daughter
478 reads
1 Comment
Posers and Liars
Watch em back up
Look around
Locate
Roundup potential prospects
for interaction
Study
Who is real
Not scared
Doesn't back up
Radar on
I smell their fear
Who won't back up?
Posers
Liars
Humans with agendas unlike mine
People finding their way
The beautiful people in their glass houses casting stones
Watch em back up
Alone again
Look around
Locate
Roundup potential prospects
for interaction
Study
Who is real
Not scared
Doesn't back up
Radar on
I smell their fear
Who won't back up?
Posers
Liars
Humans with agendas unlike mine
People finding their way
The beautiful people in their glass houses casting stones
Watch em back up
Alone again
#war
#LifeStruggles
#ignorance
#deception
#vulnerability
231 reads
3 Comments
It Doesn't Kill You
They say, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
I don't agree.
Somethings that didn't kill me,
came so close that they're still damaging.
They didn't make me better.
Something's made me worse.
And can't that be okay too?
Can't some things just break you?
This whole fucking world wants you to believe that admitting defeat makes you weak.
For God's sake,
Bleed.
And bleed openly.
There can be pride in vulnerability,
Honestly it's maturity.
And really,
It's the things that didn't kill me
That made me.
I don't agree.
Somethings that didn't kill me,
came so close that they're still damaging.
They didn't make me better.
Something's made me worse.
And can't that be okay too?
Can't some things just break you?
This whole fucking world wants you to believe that admitting defeat makes you weak.
For God's sake,
Bleed.
And bleed openly.
There can be pride in vulnerability,
Honestly it's maturity.
And really,
It's the things that didn't kill me
That made me.
#strength
#courage
#motivational #TimeHeals
#motivational #TimeHeals
464 reads
3 Comments
Alone
I try and tell myself ...
' You're not alone. "
Yet when I lay in bed at night
My sadness envelops me
Rather than my blankets.
My head is propped up
By a million thoughts
Rather than my pillow.
The weight of my chest
Feels like a mattress
Is on top
Rather than below.
What I know is ...
That when I sit up and look around,
The only person I see
Is me.
And the only person who cares
Is me.
And the only person who understands
Is me.
And
Damn ...
I...
' You're not alone. "
Yet when I lay in bed at night
My sadness envelops me
Rather than my blankets.
My head is propped up
By a million thoughts
Rather than my pillow.
The weight of my chest
Feels like a mattress
Is on top
Rather than below.
What I know is ...
That when I sit up and look around,
The only person I see
Is me.
And the only person who cares
Is me.
And the only person who understands
Is me.
And
Damn ...
I...
#sadness
#loneliness
#rejection
#despair
#emptiness
466 reads
2 Comments
You See Her
You can't imagine the things she has been through.
You see her smiling, you see how strong she is, but behind that smile is so much pain.
She is screaming inside.
You see her going through day-to-day life but you don't see the struggle it takes just to breathe.
You see her alone, deep in thought.
What you don't see is her praying for better days.
You ask her if she is okay and she says she is fine, but her heart is broken into a million pieces.
She never believed this could happen to her and nobody understands the pain she lives with each and every...
You see her smiling, you see how strong she is, but behind that smile is so much pain.
She is screaming inside.
You see her going through day-to-day life but you don't see the struggle it takes just to breathe.
You see her alone, deep in thought.
What you don't see is her praying for better days.
You ask her if she is okay and she says she is fine, but her heart is broken into a million pieces.
She never believed this could happen to her and nobody understands the pain she lives with each and every...
#sadness
#grief
#heartbroken
#despair
#emptiness
407 reads
4 Comments
The Crowd Disappears
Empty
But full
Broken
But I pick up the pieces
Blank
But colorful
Motionless
But my mind keeps spinning
Falling
But I haven't hit the ground yet
Lonely
But crowded
Loved
But cold
Silent tears
Angry words
Fake smiles
I need help
But the crowd disappears
And I'm left standing alone
Again
But full
Broken
But I pick up the pieces
Blank
But colorful
Motionless
But my mind keeps spinning
Falling
But I haven't hit the ground yet
Lonely
But crowded
Loved
But cold
Silent tears
Angry words
Fake smiles
I need help
But the crowd disappears
And I'm left standing alone
Again
#anger
#heartbroken
#frustration
#disappointment
#emptiness
266 reads
0 Comments
I Still Wonder
We were once inseparable and nothing could tear us apart. You were my world and your birth gave my life purpose. For the first time I knew the feeling of real love, and then came the day you left me. I walked out of the courthouse crying and devastated. You and your Dad's girlfriend we're standing next to the car and I wanted to tell you I love you and I didn't want to let you go. But you turned your head away from me and laughed, I wanted to die right there.
I felt so betrayed and abandoned, I turned to look for you but you were gone.
I saw your face in my tears as they fell to...
I felt so betrayed and abandoned, I turned to look for you but you were gone.
I saw your face in my tears as they fell to...
#heartbroken
#conflict
#betrayal
#disappointment
#bittersweet
132 reads
1 Comment
Words
When I was sad and depressed,
I needed you to cheer me up.
Instead
I smoked Meth till I was too numb to feel anything.
When everyone was attacking me and putting me down,
Making me feel so low,
I needed you to be the one to defend me.
Instead
I endured all the cruel words and criticism the world threw at me.
When family and friends turned on me and I was completely alone,
I needed you to come find me.
Instead
I learned what "Lonely " really meant.
When I wanted to die,
I needed you to stop me...
I needed you to cheer me up.
Instead
I smoked Meth till I was too numb to feel anything.
When everyone was attacking me and putting me down,
Making me feel so low,
I needed you to be the one to defend me.
Instead
I endured all the cruel words and criticism the world threw at me.
When family and friends turned on me and I was completely alone,
I needed you to come find me.
Instead
I learned what "Lonely " really meant.
When I wanted to die,
I needed you to stop me...
#anger
#heartbroken
#confusion
#disappointment
#emptiness
794 reads
4 Comments
Lost and Found
Forgive me for thinking
I meant more than nothing ...
Or at least more than this.
You've got my head entwined
With fake happiness
Nothing less than a straining twist
Of what's real and what's not.
Stuck in something unfamiliar
Something lovely, yet peculiar.
I'm lost
I'm found
Life turned around
My world upside down.
I meant more than nothing ...
Or at least more than this.
You've got my head entwined
With fake happiness
Nothing less than a straining twist
Of what's real and what's not.
Stuck in something unfamiliar
Something lovely, yet peculiar.
I'm lost
I'm found
Life turned around
My world upside down.
#anger
#anxiety
#heartbroken
#confusion
#disappointment
317 reads
4 Comments
My Flaws
I'll admit it, I have flaws, Fuck, I have MANY flaws.
I have imperfections beyond your wildest nightmares. I have a temper, I like things to go my way, I get addicted easily, I love too much, I give too fast, I give up too often, and I fight too hard.
But I'll let you in on a little secret, I'm not changing anytime soon.
Yes, I may have flaws, but they balance out with my good qualities and make for one perfect Storm.
What's life without a little mystery, a little adventure ... A little dynamic.
I have imperfections beyond your wildest nightmares. I have a temper, I like things to go my way, I get addicted easily, I love too much, I give too fast, I give up too often, and I fight too hard.
But I'll let you in on a little secret, I'm not changing anytime soon.
Yes, I may have flaws, but they balance out with my good qualities and make for one perfect Storm.
What's life without a little mystery, a little adventure ... A little dynamic.
#happiness
#kindness
#courage
#gratitude
#emotions
911 reads
2 Comments
Christmas
Brandi Lee ...
What do I want for Christmas?
I want you to come around. I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your worries, your dreams. I want you to share your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me. I don't care because hearing your laugh is music to me.
Raid my fridge and eat all my chocolate, it's ok , I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just want you to be healthy and happy.
This is the only Christmas present I want.
Merry Christmas Babygirl and never forget how much I love you.
Mama
What do I want for Christmas?
I want you to come around. I want you to ask me questions, ask my advice, tell me your worries, your dreams. I want you to share your life with me. Come over and laugh with me, or laugh at me. I don't care because hearing your laugh is music to me.
Raid my fridge and eat all my chocolate, it's ok , I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just want you to be healthy and happy.
This is the only Christmas present I want.
Merry Christmas Babygirl and never forget how much I love you.
Mama
#Christmas
270 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by msbeav (Brenda)