Submissions by manicshakepanic (rxln)

On a scale of 1 to 10 how indecisive are you in the bathroom stall holding jaws to your hair, watching it fall to the ground. How far will you go because you don’t know what is going on. Rub materials through your skin and treat your head like a shrine to your addiction of controlling change. If you can’t be pretty, you can atleast switch it up and wear made up shoes and walk in fake footsteps. Right? Did the dye seep through to your brain and grab the addiction.
If someone is stealing yourself then you act crazier and counteract the counterfeit you. You aren’t made because she’s filling...

You deserve more than the lost and found family clutched against the pieces of your body
The things you pulled out over and over leaving a hole where the trust should have been
I thought your eyes were beautiful and I saw your ribs when you saw layers of fat. I saw the muscles and you saw worthlessness
I saw the world and you saw hell
You said you couldn’t and I grabbed your scarred wrists as you ran to nothing
Safety in ignorance
I thought I loved you and you thought nobody cared
You felt alone when I held your hand
You can’t rip out your heart and push it...

Muted sounds out of a muffled mouth. As you clamped your hand over his mouth. I clutched the blankets closer to my chest and ( BANG!) And I cried. And they dragged him away, and their jackets smelt like authority. He tried to assure me, and his medicated body slumped against mine in a hug before you took him away, and you yelled. And he snuck around, but some pills were involved. You never told me why he went away. My sister and I were on the swing set, still thinking, wondering where he was. She stole the open folder from under your nose. I got to see him in the hospital. He couldn’t have my...

Why should i paint a butterfly on my wrist,      
when it will inch towards the blade and slit up the memories that my head keeps pounding my muscles with.

Reminding me to stay sane
            keep your thoughts away from
peering ears in therapist offices;

and try to dye the thoughts away from your hair, and hide it for long enough and it will come true.       right?

try to draw the sketches of people i want to meet.
And try to dye my skin with a safety pin without the safety,
and a pen that i took (apart)from the fact that I’m crying...

keep screaming in my room try to sort out the invisible. He can’t see what is wrong and everything’s true, she sees the justice and the pain. I thought a poster fell last night from the echoes of your voice. we could live on the street live like ghetto kings and queens. I guess we are doing okay because there is no ramen and the water works. But I guess he just sees the cracks and sees the things he could knock down with his words, and sometimes her face falls and you storm out. sometimes I dream you don’t come back. It’s kind of a secret but in the attic of my head I see the headlines of my...