Submissions by jinabell21 (Jina Bella)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
6th May 2014 11:43pm
6th May 2014 11:43pm
Growing up:Bittersweet
I remember being a child
Dancing through the fields
Not a care in the world, exploring the woods near by
Chasing after animals that intrigued me so
The magic and mystery of them to my small mind
Dreams of being a zoo keeper, veterinarian, marine biologist
Well they flooded my small existence
Years have passed
Life has altered me in ways I can't explain
Broken and then mended back together
Yet still the same dreams flooded my mind
There is a catch however
The pay would leave me in poverty
Science, you must be good at science ...
Dancing through the fields
Not a care in the world, exploring the woods near by
Chasing after animals that intrigued me so
The magic and mystery of them to my small mind
Dreams of being a zoo keeper, veterinarian, marine biologist
Well they flooded my small existence
Years have passed
Life has altered me in ways I can't explain
Broken and then mended back together
Yet still the same dreams flooded my mind
There is a catch however
The pay would leave me in poverty
Science, you must be good at science ...
537 reads
SELF POEM
Published
1st May 2014 3:31am
1st May 2014 3:31am
So close
Oops, I'm sorry
Maybe I shouldn't have taken that extra hit
Maybe it was just too strong, or I inhaled wrong
Smoke filling my lungs and blurring out the horrid reality
Yet this time I wasn't too careful
Went past my limit
The dizziness starts right away, the short panted breaths
"Lye down, just go lye down." You repeat in your head over and over
Static fills your ears
A numb tingle starts to cover your body in a warm blanket
Hello again, old friend
My dear asthma, oh how I've missed you so
Heart pounding so fast I can feel it with my...
Maybe I shouldn't have taken that extra hit
Maybe it was just too strong, or I inhaled wrong
Smoke filling my lungs and blurring out the horrid reality
Yet this time I wasn't too careful
Went past my limit
The dizziness starts right away, the short panted breaths
"Lye down, just go lye down." You repeat in your head over and over
Static fills your ears
A numb tingle starts to cover your body in a warm blanket
Hello again, old friend
My dear asthma, oh how I've missed you so
Heart pounding so fast I can feel it with my...
636 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
17th Apr 2014 4:40pm
17th Apr 2014 4:40pm
High hopes heavy heart
Sometimes, you get your hopes up
You promised yourself you wouldn't
You've been through this before, it isn't your first rodeo
You know you're never someone's first choice
There's always someone they want more
Yet you still grow attached
You still hope
You still think maybe they'll want you back
And then they don't
And you're sitting there, playing the fool
Isn't it lovely you're a mockery all for their amusement
So congratulations stupid girl
You look into the mirror wondering who's the biggest fool
It was you little girl, who kept...
You promised yourself you wouldn't
You've been through this before, it isn't your first rodeo
You know you're never someone's first choice
There's always someone they want more
Yet you still grow attached
You still hope
You still think maybe they'll want you back
And then they don't
And you're sitting there, playing the fool
Isn't it lovely you're a mockery all for their amusement
So congratulations stupid girl
You look into the mirror wondering who's the biggest fool
It was you little girl, who kept...
752 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
13th Apr 2014 11:47pm
13th Apr 2014 11:47pm
Angst
The longer the days drag on
Makes me crave to take a drag of something
To down the bottle though I've been sober for months
It seems reality has become too much to handle
Yet again
Here we go. Broken little girl lost and alone wandering through the woods
Running from the big bad wolf
Hoping to make it out alive
The sad little girl knows there is no escape
There is no happy ending
Yet you'll still see her running
Makes me crave to take a drag of something
To down the bottle though I've been sober for months
It seems reality has become too much to handle
Yet again
Here we go. Broken little girl lost and alone wandering through the woods
Running from the big bad wolf
Hoping to make it out alive
The sad little girl knows there is no escape
There is no happy ending
Yet you'll still see her running
469 reads
0 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
7th Apr 2014 2:01pm
7th Apr 2014 2:01pm
"Friend"
Playmates on the school yard
Pals at school
Always saying they'll be there for you
Bullshit
Don't lie to a liar
They never stay, they don't care
Too absorbed in their own world I presume
Shut the fuck up I don't care about your cheating boyfriend
I've heard you babble and squawk like a bird countless times
Oh you forgot what I told you?
Countless times? Huh. How interesting.
Considering I listen to when you endlessly rant until I want to rip out your vocal chords
Yet when I say something
Oh heaven forbid you remember
About my...
Pals at school
Always saying they'll be there for you
Bullshit
Don't lie to a liar
They never stay, they don't care
Too absorbed in their own world I presume
Shut the fuck up I don't care about your cheating boyfriend
I've heard you babble and squawk like a bird countless times
Oh you forgot what I told you?
Countless times? Huh. How interesting.
Considering I listen to when you endlessly rant until I want to rip out your vocal chords
Yet when I say something
Oh heaven forbid you remember
About my...
786 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
28th Feb 2014 2:22am
28th Feb 2014 2:22am
Smoke
Inhale
Exhale
Remember
Forget
I can't seem to remember a time I was happy
The girl in the mirror evaporates like smoke
Just like the smoke floating into my lungs
Inhale
Exhale
Just another hit, make me the girl I so long to be
If only for a moment
In, Out, In, Out
I stare at the puff of smoke floating from my lips
It's freeing, as if you're a bird flying far away from the misery of this world
In, Out, In, Out
I never wanted to be this way, I never...
Exhale
Remember
Forget
I can't seem to remember a time I was happy
The girl in the mirror evaporates like smoke
Just like the smoke floating into my lungs
Inhale
Exhale
Just another hit, make me the girl I so long to be
If only for a moment
In, Out, In, Out
I stare at the puff of smoke floating from my lips
It's freeing, as if you're a bird flying far away from the misery of this world
In, Out, In, Out
I never wanted to be this way, I never...
604 reads
2 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
17th Feb 2014 4:24pm
17th Feb 2014 4:24pm
Human
It's funny how quickly we forget the little things
The ones that were joyous and merry, with people who were once such a big part of your life, but now are just a memory for no specific reason whatsoever
Then the dark moments, the ones that have you sitting on the bathroom floor
Tears streaming down your face and your chest sore with the erratic beating of your heartbeat
Well, those moments seem to take up the most room in your mind
Perhaps I'm being over dramatic, or just simply depressing
That's besides the point
You can't scream at someone just because...
The ones that were joyous and merry, with people who were once such a big part of your life, but now are just a memory for no specific reason whatsoever
Then the dark moments, the ones that have you sitting on the bathroom floor
Tears streaming down your face and your chest sore with the erratic beating of your heartbeat
Well, those moments seem to take up the most room in your mind
Perhaps I'm being over dramatic, or just simply depressing
That's besides the point
You can't scream at someone just because...
584 reads
1 Comment
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
2nd Feb 2014 1:32am
2nd Feb 2014 1:32am
It's under control
Slithering into my mind
Piercing eyes everywhere
Scornful stares from strangers passing by
I hide behind my mane of curls
Not out of sorrows or shame
But of anger
Biting back my drunken tongue to those who look as is I am the dirt they walk on
Smoke exhales from my lungs as I speak to those passing by
I like feeling nothing at all
Some drink to have fun
Others smoke to soar with the birds flying through the clouds
I drink to forget
I smoke to forget
There's nothing complicated about it
No hidden meaning, nothing to ponder ...
Piercing eyes everywhere
Scornful stares from strangers passing by
I hide behind my mane of curls
Not out of sorrows or shame
But of anger
Biting back my drunken tongue to those who look as is I am the dirt they walk on
Smoke exhales from my lungs as I speak to those passing by
I like feeling nothing at all
Some drink to have fun
Others smoke to soar with the birds flying through the clouds
I drink to forget
I smoke to forget
There's nothing complicated about it
No hidden meaning, nothing to ponder ...
539 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
19th Dec 2013 00:10am
19th Dec 2013 00:10am
The Truth
Like a fox, I'll trick you in to believing I'm alright
Careful in public, the facade never breaks for then they would know
They would see how broken I really am
Some days are wonderful, for a moment I almost feel alive
And for a moment I forget, even if it is for just a split second
Then the memories hit me and I'm back in the bathroom
Sitting in a stall having a mental breakdown because I saw him in the library
My hearts not healed yet
I miss him
I miss him so much and I know I shouldn't
He doesn't love me anymore, he doesn't want me he made that...
Careful in public, the facade never breaks for then they would know
They would see how broken I really am
Some days are wonderful, for a moment I almost feel alive
And for a moment I forget, even if it is for just a split second
Then the memories hit me and I'm back in the bathroom
Sitting in a stall having a mental breakdown because I saw him in the library
My hearts not healed yet
I miss him
I miss him so much and I know I shouldn't
He doesn't love me anymore, he doesn't want me he made that...
630 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
11th Dec 2013 2:13am
11th Dec 2013 2:13am
Don't Fall Apart, Again
We all want that fairy tale ending
To kiss the prince~or princess
To live in an eternal dream
To know we're loved
But what happens when that dream turns into a nightmare
Almost two years of my life wasted
On some guy who didn't care about me, who was more concerned with his friends than his heart broken girlfriend
You'd be surprised at how naive I was
Now I'm alone
The shutters are closed, a layer of dust forms on my body
Still, unmoving, like a doll placed upon a high shelf
Forgotten
I'll never get used to being nothing
To anyone, but...
To kiss the prince~or princess
To live in an eternal dream
To know we're loved
But what happens when that dream turns into a nightmare
Almost two years of my life wasted
On some guy who didn't care about me, who was more concerned with his friends than his heart broken girlfriend
You'd be surprised at how naive I was
Now I'm alone
The shutters are closed, a layer of dust forms on my body
Still, unmoving, like a doll placed upon a high shelf
Forgotten
I'll never get used to being nothing
To anyone, but...
602 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
1st Dec 2013 2:55am
1st Dec 2013 2:55am
Scales
Frozen
Cold as the glaciers that gather around the attic waters
Numb to the feelings that were once so alive
They come and go
Some days it's a forest fire, my emotions destroying every bit that is me
Other days
It's barren, dry, as uninhabitable as a desert
I question if my hearts still beating
I haven't felt it in a very long time, sometimes I try to listen, but there's a silence that should frighten me, but only makes me shrug
Stilled by the one who left me to die on the side of the road
I laugh and smile with the best of them
Go...
Cold as the glaciers that gather around the attic waters
Numb to the feelings that were once so alive
They come and go
Some days it's a forest fire, my emotions destroying every bit that is me
Other days
It's barren, dry, as uninhabitable as a desert
I question if my hearts still beating
I haven't felt it in a very long time, sometimes I try to listen, but there's a silence that should frighten me, but only makes me shrug
Stilled by the one who left me to die on the side of the road
I laugh and smile with the best of them
Go...
584 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
22nd Sep 2013 1:41am
22nd Sep 2013 1:41am
Skeleton
Behind the smiles
Behind the bright eyes
Behind the mask that I paint on
Every. Fucking. Day
There's a skeleton in the mirror
Every time I look at her all I see is bones
There's nothing there anymore
It's hollow
The flesh seared away in the fire that I had thought was love
The blood oozed out carelessly before I took the knife to finish the job
I paint on the makeup
Just enough to look pretty
Just enough to look human, to look alive, like a breathing creature
But I stopped breathing almost two years ago
My once soft skin replaced with...
Behind the bright eyes
Behind the mask that I paint on
Every. Fucking. Day
There's a skeleton in the mirror
Every time I look at her all I see is bones
There's nothing there anymore
It's hollow
The flesh seared away in the fire that I had thought was love
The blood oozed out carelessly before I took the knife to finish the job
I paint on the makeup
Just enough to look pretty
Just enough to look human, to look alive, like a breathing creature
But I stopped breathing almost two years ago
My once soft skin replaced with...
572 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by jinabell21 (Jina Bella)
