Submissions by jinabell21 (Jina Bella)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
LOVE POEM
Published
17th Dec 2015 7:00pm
17th Dec 2015 7:00pm
.
Sometimes
It's better to be alone
Because my thoughts are self destructive
And my methods aren't recommended by doctors
It's like an avalanche inside my chest
Just tumbling downwards, cold quick
Suffocating anything, destroying everything, until eternal silence
It's hard to breath with broken lungs
Or to see with blinded eyes
And all the worse to try and love with a hollow heart
So maybe it's better to be alone
Because I can't bare the thought of consuming someone again.
It's better to be alone
Because my thoughts are self destructive
And my methods aren't recommended by doctors
It's like an avalanche inside my chest
Just tumbling downwards, cold quick
Suffocating anything, destroying everything, until eternal silence
It's hard to breath with broken lungs
Or to see with blinded eyes
And all the worse to try and love with a hollow heart
So maybe it's better to be alone
Because I can't bare the thought of consuming someone again.
747 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
22nd Oct 2015 6:03pm
22nd Oct 2015 6:03pm
I met a boy
I met a boy with curious green eyes
They intrigued me, I wanted to know what lay beneath them
I met a boy with soft blonde hair
Silly to the touch, my fingers danced through the strands
I met a boy with a gentle voice
That calmed my erratic thoughts, and voices of self loathing
I met a boy who wanted to understand me
Although I barely can myself, I tried to let him
I met a boy who's desperate to spend time with me
So naturally I panicked and tried to find excuses, because I certainly don't deserve gentle love
I met a boy who...
They intrigued me, I wanted to know what lay beneath them
I met a boy with soft blonde hair
Silly to the touch, my fingers danced through the strands
I met a boy with a gentle voice
That calmed my erratic thoughts, and voices of self loathing
I met a boy who wanted to understand me
Although I barely can myself, I tried to let him
I met a boy who's desperate to spend time with me
So naturally I panicked and tried to find excuses, because I certainly don't deserve gentle love
I met a boy who...
1185 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
29th Jul 2015 11:13pm
29th Jul 2015 11:13pm
To feel okay
Why do I still think about him
Why do I still miss him
Why is it when I'm drunk all my thoughts lead back to him
Why did he leave
Why doesn't he want me
Why did we have to end things like we did
Why can't I forget
Why am I not getting better
Why can't I just speak to him
Why can't I find his number anywhere
Why can't I stop hurting it's been almost two years
Why can't I feel whole again
Why can't I move on
Why can't I let someone in, I don't want anyone else
Why can't I get better
Fuck, first loves really do hurt.
Why do I still miss him
Why is it when I'm drunk all my thoughts lead back to him
Why did he leave
Why doesn't he want me
Why did we have to end things like we did
Why can't I forget
Why am I not getting better
Why can't I just speak to him
Why can't I find his number anywhere
Why can't I stop hurting it's been almost two years
Why can't I feel whole again
Why can't I move on
Why can't I let someone in, I don't want anyone else
Why can't I get better
Fuck, first loves really do hurt.
572 reads
0 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
30th Jun 2015 5:22am
30th Jun 2015 5:22am
Light as a feather (short story)
I bet you think it beautiful to love someone like myself
Somebody as light as me
But, what you don't realize
And will never know
Is how heavy I had to be
To
Become
This
E M P T Y
Somebody as light as me
But, what you don't realize
And will never know
Is how heavy I had to be
To
Become
This
E M P T Y
532 reads
1 Comment
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
28th Jun 2015 5:07am
28th Jun 2015 5:07am
Tell me
What
Happens
When
Your
House
Is
No
Longer
A
Home
But
Just
Four
Walls
And
You're
Family
Is
Nothing
But
Mere
Strangers
Happens
When
Your
House
Is
No
Longer
A
Home
But
Just
Four
Walls
And
You're
Family
Is
Nothing
But
Mere
Strangers
578 reads
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
15th Jun 2015 00:27am
15th Jun 2015 00:27am
Just a bunch of wonder and worry
What if I felt secure in the decisions I made?
What if I enjoyed working a nine to five and didn't yearn for freedom?
What if my father never left when I was a child?
What if my parents didn't get the divorce?
What if my nana didn't pass away?
What if my titi was still alive?
What if my moms boyfriend showed up earlier in my life?
What if Bruce never stopped loving me?
What if Brennan didn't just want me for sex?
What if my asthma finally got the best of me when I took that bong rip?
What if I crashed the car while being anything but sober?
What if...
What if I enjoyed working a nine to five and didn't yearn for freedom?
What if my father never left when I was a child?
What if my parents didn't get the divorce?
What if my nana didn't pass away?
What if my titi was still alive?
What if my moms boyfriend showed up earlier in my life?
What if Bruce never stopped loving me?
What if Brennan didn't just want me for sex?
What if my asthma finally got the best of me when I took that bong rip?
What if I crashed the car while being anything but sober?
What if...
666 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
14th Feb 2015 11:28pm
14th Feb 2015 11:28pm
Daddy issues
What it means to date a girl without a father:
It will not seem different at first, you will joke and share silly stories, laugh louder than anticipated, you'll get drunk off of fingertips and innocent touches, like when her fingers linger a bit longer around your waist.
She'll kiss you like you're the first person her lips have ever touched, she will do what she can to keep things fun and exciting, she NEEDS light, exciting, because she's all too aware of the possible darkness looming overhead.
She'll be careful with her words, you'll notice she never says "parents" and...
It will not seem different at first, you will joke and share silly stories, laugh louder than anticipated, you'll get drunk off of fingertips and innocent touches, like when her fingers linger a bit longer around your waist.
She'll kiss you like you're the first person her lips have ever touched, she will do what she can to keep things fun and exciting, she NEEDS light, exciting, because she's all too aware of the possible darkness looming overhead.
She'll be careful with her words, you'll notice she never says "parents" and...
828 reads
0 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
11th Feb 2015 2:36am
11th Feb 2015 2:36am
To my future self
If I ever have a son or daughter, and they start to feel the pressure I once felt
I will let them
Dye there hair, blue, green, even pink if they desired it
I will let them cut it, shave it, straighten it
I will let them wear black eyeliner and lipstick
I will let them wear basketball shorts, or cute frilly skirts
I will let them wear hoodies and ripped black jeans
I will listen to them cry
Over "bitches", "assholes", and teachers, and the world, and about the universe
And everyday
I want to make a point of telling them
I...
I will let them
Dye there hair, blue, green, even pink if they desired it
I will let them cut it, shave it, straighten it
I will let them wear black eyeliner and lipstick
I will let them wear basketball shorts, or cute frilly skirts
I will let them wear hoodies and ripped black jeans
I will listen to them cry
Over "bitches", "assholes", and teachers, and the world, and about the universe
And everyday
I want to make a point of telling them
I...
699 reads
1 Comment
LOVE POEM
Published
3rd Jan 2015 10:46pm
3rd Jan 2015 10:46pm
The only exception
Everything that makes me feel alive is the very thing that destroys me
What a fucking trap
Is it true, a human can become a home more so than four walls and a roof above your head?
This body has never felt like a home to me.
I live inside myself and it is a rotting cage.
But
As badly as I wish to be buried six feet under ground, oh god, how I wish I was buried in your arms.
Please understand
I'd rather have one sunflower given by your hand than a thousand roses delivered from any other boy.
I have an extreme distaste for anyone but you.
Just...
What a fucking trap
Is it true, a human can become a home more so than four walls and a roof above your head?
This body has never felt like a home to me.
I live inside myself and it is a rotting cage.
But
As badly as I wish to be buried six feet under ground, oh god, how I wish I was buried in your arms.
Please understand
I'd rather have one sunflower given by your hand than a thousand roses delivered from any other boy.
I have an extreme distaste for anyone but you.
Just...
769 reads
3 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
29th Dec 2014 11:51pm
29th Dec 2014 11:51pm
Accidents happen
Have you ever done something in hopes of feeling better
Something you once scolded your older sister for doing
Something that you never understood why so many your age did
Yet the moment you did it afterwards you felt so..
..so empty?
Sleeping with him didn't make me feel better, in fact I felt as hollow as a birds bones
It started out with hand holding
Simple, sweet, safe
Then led to cuddling, alright. I can still handle this.
Then kissing, oh fuck what am I doing?
Then groping, then the aftermath
I hoped to feel something, anything...
Something you once scolded your older sister for doing
Something that you never understood why so many your age did
Yet the moment you did it afterwards you felt so..
..so empty?
Sleeping with him didn't make me feel better, in fact I felt as hollow as a birds bones
It started out with hand holding
Simple, sweet, safe
Then led to cuddling, alright. I can still handle this.
Then kissing, oh fuck what am I doing?
Then groping, then the aftermath
I hoped to feel something, anything...
700 reads
SELF POEM
Published
7th Dec 2014 11:31pm
7th Dec 2014 11:31pm
Maybe
Maybe I'm the girl who's meant to be alone
Sitting at a coffee shop, looking at all the happy love stuck couples
Maybe I'm too complicated for anyone to love
Maybe it's my dull brown eyes
Or the way I can never finish a story without stuttering
Maybe it's because my feelings get hurt easily, but I brush it off like nothing phases me.
Maybe it's because how I feel and how I act never match up
I could be rotting away like a corpse on the inside, but you'd never notice past my casual smile
Maybe it's because I didn't put out
Spread my legs like a whore to...
Sitting at a coffee shop, looking at all the happy love stuck couples
Maybe I'm too complicated for anyone to love
Maybe it's my dull brown eyes
Or the way I can never finish a story without stuttering
Maybe it's because my feelings get hurt easily, but I brush it off like nothing phases me.
Maybe it's because how I feel and how I act never match up
I could be rotting away like a corpse on the inside, but you'd never notice past my casual smile
Maybe it's because I didn't put out
Spread my legs like a whore to...
688 reads
3 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
1st Dec 2014 1:57am
1st Dec 2014 1:57am
Possibility
I've never liked brown eyes before.
Never found them attractive.
Just dark orbs, the color of dirt.
Plain and ordinary is all that I thought about when looking into my own brown eyes.
Yet yours, yours entice me.
I've never liked brown eyes before, but your eyes are my new favorite color.
I knew I was in trouble the moment I felt my heart thudding against my chest hours before even seeing you.
I knew I was in danger when my stare softened as you snuggled your sweet dog.
When I'll see you again I do not know, but I will not allow us to not speak for so long...
Never found them attractive.
Just dark orbs, the color of dirt.
Plain and ordinary is all that I thought about when looking into my own brown eyes.
Yet yours, yours entice me.
I've never liked brown eyes before, but your eyes are my new favorite color.
I knew I was in trouble the moment I felt my heart thudding against my chest hours before even seeing you.
I knew I was in danger when my stare softened as you snuggled your sweet dog.
When I'll see you again I do not know, but I will not allow us to not speak for so long...
760 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by jinabell21 (Jina Bella)
