Submissions by blocat
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Comedy writer and also write serious stuff from the heart when I'm in the mood. Without humour life has no real balance and we take ourselves too seriously. I use humour as armour against the slings and arrows of outrageous circumstance. ;-)
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
20th Apr 2013 11:43am
20th Apr 2013 11:43am
The Two Pole Pratt
Gaiters, big boots and a bobble hat,
And lots of pricey stuff like that,
And just to prove I am a serious walker
I sometimes wear a deer stalker,
As walking is my one true passion,
I have to dress in the latest fashion,
My gear’s the best and to let you know
I make sure designer labels show
But the thing that sets me apart from you,
And the ordinary walking that you do,
Are the walking poles I really need,
So I progress with grace and speed,
I get: “You look like a skier who’s lost his skis,
And smart-arsed comments just like...
And lots of pricey stuff like that,
And just to prove I am a serious walker
I sometimes wear a deer stalker,
As walking is my one true passion,
I have to dress in the latest fashion,
My gear’s the best and to let you know
I make sure designer labels show
But the thing that sets me apart from you,
And the ordinary walking that you do,
Are the walking poles I really need,
So I progress with grace and speed,
I get: “You look like a skier who’s lost his skis,
And smart-arsed comments just like...
683 reads
10 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
19th Apr 2013 1:07pm
19th Apr 2013 1:07pm
Dead Right Mate
Preamble:
Sitting bored at computer (Like you do)
I was all alone and blue
So I wrote myself a note
Now I'm orf to cut me throat!
Poem/note:
I feel could be said there’s good reason to be dead
After all it did wonders for Elvis’s street cred
His records sold in millions boosted by the news
That never more we’d see him singing Blue Suede Shoes
So if your career’s flagging and you need a helpful shove
In ambition don’t be lagging just get yourself above
Then everyone will love you and fondly speak your name
And maybe buy your...
Sitting bored at computer (Like you do)
I was all alone and blue
So I wrote myself a note
Now I'm orf to cut me throat!
Poem/note:
I feel could be said there’s good reason to be dead
After all it did wonders for Elvis’s street cred
His records sold in millions boosted by the news
That never more we’d see him singing Blue Suede Shoes
So if your career’s flagging and you need a helpful shove
In ambition don’t be lagging just get yourself above
Then everyone will love you and fondly speak your name
And maybe buy your...
719 reads
10 Comments
FICTIONAL PROSE
Published
19th Apr 2013 4:38am
19th Apr 2013 4:38am
A Glutton for Punishment
Inspired by a silly joke I once heard.
Irene Grabbar was a cleaning lady. She’d been a cleaner most of her adult life although she hated it. Her husband Sid had a small market stall that never seemed to prosper on a scale that would allow her to stop working. Still, the job of cleaner had its perks like any other and Irene took full advantage of the situations she found herself in cleaning mainly for elderly folk. As well as clean for them she would also run small errands… and she made it pay!
Today she was cleaning the modest bungalow of one of her ‘favourite’ clients...
Irene Grabbar was a cleaning lady. She’d been a cleaner most of her adult life although she hated it. Her husband Sid had a small market stall that never seemed to prosper on a scale that would allow her to stop working. Still, the job of cleaner had its perks like any other and Irene took full advantage of the situations she found herself in cleaning mainly for elderly folk. As well as clean for them she would also run small errands… and she made it pay!
Today she was cleaning the modest bungalow of one of her ‘favourite’ clients...
757 reads
6 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
18th Apr 2013 2:29pm
18th Apr 2013 2:29pm
Heart's Gold
Six shires have I cross’t for thee
And spake my love so great
But thou, churlish with abuse
Doth send me from thy gate
My garments mired, torn on gorse
In Oxfordshire lost I my horse
The next shire of my gold was robbed
But still without remorse
I turned myself a beggar
And cleaved unto my course
With haughty looks and cruel words
My sworn love you deride
Thou cause but pain within my heart
And leave no room for pride
Thou wouldst for love not marry me
But seek ye...
And spake my love so great
But thou, churlish with abuse
Doth send me from thy gate
My garments mired, torn on gorse
In Oxfordshire lost I my horse
The next shire of my gold was robbed
But still without remorse
I turned myself a beggar
And cleaved unto my course
With haughty looks and cruel words
My sworn love you deride
Thou cause but pain within my heart
And leave no room for pride
Thou wouldst for love not marry me
But seek ye...
613 reads
5 Comments
STORY POEM
Published
15th Apr 2013 3:03pm
15th Apr 2013 3:03pm
The Art Critic
Inspired by Solomon_Song a big thank you to him! :-)
This never happened it's just a product of my "Imagineering" ;-)
The colour’s wrong the sky’s too big
What’s it supposed to be?
It’ll never be accepted
Far too vague you see
And ships don’t ever look like that
And what’s that there? A tree?
The sun’s too bold the sea’s too pale
It don’t look right to me
If you’re to succeed my friend
I really have to mention
You’ve got to paint more like the rest
By sticking to convention
No, I’m afraid it just...
This never happened it's just a product of my "Imagineering" ;-)
The colour’s wrong the sky’s too big
What’s it supposed to be?
It’ll never be accepted
Far too vague you see
And ships don’t ever look like that
And what’s that there? A tree?
The sun’s too bold the sea’s too pale
It don’t look right to me
If you’re to succeed my friend
I really have to mention
You’ve got to paint more like the rest
By sticking to convention
No, I’m afraid it just...
649 reads
10 Comments
FICTIONAL PROSE
Published
15th Apr 2013 5:18am
15th Apr 2013 5:18am
Judge Ye Not
People watching is a great pastime and I for one love to indulge in it as often as possible but sometimes the folk we are watching may not be quite what they seem.....
She sat with her friend in the lounge of her local pub her eyes constantly flicking to the fellow at the bar talking quietly and earnestly to his male companion. People watching was Becky’s favourite pastime and here was a fascinating study if ever she'd seen one.
She nudged her friend. "Look at him at the bar Sam what do you think?”
“What? The geezer in the biker’s leathers...
She sat with her friend in the lounge of her local pub her eyes constantly flicking to the fellow at the bar talking quietly and earnestly to his male companion. People watching was Becky’s favourite pastime and here was a fascinating study if ever she'd seen one.
She nudged her friend. "Look at him at the bar Sam what do you think?”
“What? The geezer in the biker’s leathers...
831 reads
4 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
12th Apr 2013 7:14pm
12th Apr 2013 7:14pm
Maggie
Dedicated to a leader who, though far from perfect, still had the vision and courage to soldier on in the face of great adversity and bring her country to prosperity. In the end she was brought down by the treachery of cowards and political pygmies unfit to clean her shoes.
You can’t do this you can’t do that it simply isn’t done
We Union men rule this land and will to kingdom come
Why she said should this be so you’ll ruin our country’s life
The whole land is stagnating with all these strikes and strife
You’ve got two men for every job and other stupid...
You can’t do this you can’t do that it simply isn’t done
We Union men rule this land and will to kingdom come
Why she said should this be so you’ll ruin our country’s life
The whole land is stagnating with all these strikes and strife
You’ve got two men for every job and other stupid...
697 reads
10 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
12th Apr 2013 10:03am
12th Apr 2013 10:03am
Atoms
I sit and stare as from the dark side of the moon
Gazing across a vacuum, blackened firmament
Filled with history, mystery, imponderable majesty
Stupefying the mind of mere mankind
Endless depths.
As above so below philosophers proclaim
The stars spin silent though incomprehensible
Eons of time and space
Dying to be eternally reborn
They are but the atoms
The building blocks of the body of god
Gazing across a vacuum, blackened firmament
Filled with history, mystery, imponderable majesty
Stupefying the mind of mere mankind
Endless depths.
As above so below philosophers proclaim
The stars spin silent though incomprehensible
Eons of time and space
Dying to be eternally reborn
They are but the atoms
The building blocks of the body of god
752 reads
4 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
10th Apr 2013 5:52pm
10th Apr 2013 5:52pm
Shed
Every man should have a shed
In which to hide and nurse his head
For when the world turns in on him
And everything is looking grim
He can sit there in his chair
Breathing in sweet garden air
Bailiffs may pound upon his door
His wife and he may be at war
But in his shed he feels at ease
There’s nothing there that will displease
It’s filled with things he’ll one day fix
Like fishing rods and walking sticks
He’s safe ensconced avoiding stress
And even though it looks a mess
It’s his world and his...
In which to hide and nurse his head
For when the world turns in on him
And everything is looking grim
He can sit there in his chair
Breathing in sweet garden air
Bailiffs may pound upon his door
His wife and he may be at war
But in his shed he feels at ease
There’s nothing there that will displease
It’s filled with things he’ll one day fix
Like fishing rods and walking sticks
He’s safe ensconced avoiding stress
And even though it looks a mess
It’s his world and his...
787 reads
4 Comments
EROTIC POEM
Published
9th Apr 2013 2:43am
9th Apr 2013 2:43am
Midnight Moves
She moans, I move
We flow in unison
Entwined
Caressing her spine
Awakening her soul
To passion sublime
Legs wrapped around my thighs
And before my eyes
Her sweet mysteries
Unfolding
I’m beholding
Her eyes smokey glazed with lust
We writhe caress and rampantly thrust
As eagerly we delve, explore
Each wanting the other more
We soar
She's touching, lightly softly teasing
My tingling nerves crave her easing
Her parting slender thighs arise
I gaze into her fecund...
We flow in unison
Entwined
Caressing her spine
Awakening her soul
To passion sublime
Legs wrapped around my thighs
And before my eyes
Her sweet mysteries
Unfolding
I’m beholding
Her eyes smokey glazed with lust
We writhe caress and rampantly thrust
As eagerly we delve, explore
Each wanting the other more
We soar
She's touching, lightly softly teasing
My tingling nerves crave her easing
Her parting slender thighs arise
I gaze into her fecund...
794 reads
6 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
6th Apr 2013 2:20am
6th Apr 2013 2:20am
God Bless The NHS
A rant brought about by the blatant conning of the National
Health Service by overseas health tourists and the folly of our government who let it go on because they're scared of criticism by politically correct lunatics.
So let me get this straight mate
I’m drawing my pension
Not to mention
A free bus pass
For me and my lass
And we're living in 'Freebee' heaven?
Even though I’ve paid for it since 1957?
And that makes me a scrounger? Yes?
A lazy social lounger more or less?
And the foreigner who comes here for his...
Health Service by overseas health tourists and the folly of our government who let it go on because they're scared of criticism by politically correct lunatics.
So let me get this straight mate
I’m drawing my pension
Not to mention
A free bus pass
For me and my lass
And we're living in 'Freebee' heaven?
Even though I’ve paid for it since 1957?
And that makes me a scrounger? Yes?
A lazy social lounger more or less?
And the foreigner who comes here for his...
664 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by blocat
