Submissions by alliwantisnothing (xx.HopeHazardous.xx)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
my writing style is a mess of words and symbolism. i write about emotional experiences in an attempt to illustrate them. some themes in my writing are vulnerability, navigation, reflection, and symbolism.
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
28th Apr 2024 3:07am
28th Apr 2024 3:07am
for andrew
you speak like a poet
clever and forceful intentions
hide beneath illusions of a careful nature
blossoming with innocence and pretty words
your limitless and unscrupulous chase
after something you won’t find
meets my paradoxical longing for love,
and prevalent lack of self value
my overbearing commiseration
is the premise reserving my title as plan C
i feel unworthy of being even your last choice
and this weak demeanor of mine;
it makes you smile,
revealing the cards you’ll someday play
and i hope that if all else fails ...
clever and forceful intentions
hide beneath illusions of a careful nature
blossoming with innocence and pretty words
your limitless and unscrupulous chase
after something you won’t find
meets my paradoxical longing for love,
and prevalent lack of self value
my overbearing commiseration
is the premise reserving my title as plan C
i feel unworthy of being even your last choice
and this weak demeanor of mine;
it makes you smile,
revealing the cards you’ll someday play
and i hope that if all else fails ...
#confessional
#deception
#loneliness
#manipulation
#vanity
99 reads
0 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
28th Apr 2024 1:49am
28th Apr 2024 1:49am
you sold me forever and i bought it
chaotic and melancholic
a reflection of what used to be
take everything we once had
hold it to your heart
and never stop dwelling on it
for every time i thought of you
i’d hoped you’d try to find me
but i wept alone in agony
always and forever
were my lies
yet you forced me to speak them
we’ll remain tied by an invisible string
and we will speak;
sometimes and briefly
occasionally and barely
but never always or forever;
the lies i told
you sold them to me
-hope
a reflection of what used to be
take everything we once had
hold it to your heart
and never stop dwelling on it
for every time i thought of you
i’d hoped you’d try to find me
but i wept alone in agony
always and forever
were my lies
yet you forced me to speak them
we’ll remain tied by an invisible string
and we will speak;
sometimes and briefly
occasionally and barely
but never always or forever;
the lies i told
you sold them to me
-hope
#bittersweet
#love
#memories #summer
#memories #summer
89 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
10th Apr 2024 3:57am
10th Apr 2024 3:57am
trying to write out my feelings instead of cutting
anguish is flowing in red rivers beneath my skin
and it’s screaming to be let out
i couldn’t tell you where it came from
all i know is that i’m wired wrong
i wouldn’t dare try to talk to anyone beforehand
people either freak out or act annoyed
and in such a vulnerable state,
that is the cyanide of human communication
i wish someone would help me
the way i need to be helped
i usually feel stressed
numb
sad
ashamed
lonely
and overwhelmed ...
and it’s screaming to be let out
i couldn’t tell you where it came from
all i know is that i’m wired wrong
i wouldn’t dare try to talk to anyone beforehand
people either freak out or act annoyed
and in such a vulnerable state,
that is the cyanide of human communication
i wish someone would help me
the way i need to be helped
i usually feel stressed
numb
sad
ashamed
lonely
and overwhelmed ...
#depression
#loneliness
#SelfHarm
#PTSD
#StreamOfConsciousness
274 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
14th Feb 2024 3:08pm
14th Feb 2024 3:08pm
you’re made of fire and i’m carbon dioxide
engulfed in radiant vermillion
our burning fate is sealed
you’re pyromanic
and i’m co2
what does that yield?
set me on fire
and take me away
our potential energy
at a nuclear stage
free me me from all
for which i fail to say
a blazing regret
that i cannot contain
in a clever flare,
your love burns away
our sparks ignite;
only to fade.
our burning fate is sealed
you’re pyromanic
and i’m co2
what does that yield?
set me on fire
and take me away
our potential energy
at a nuclear stage
free me me from all
for which i fail to say
a blazing regret
that i cannot contain
in a clever flare,
your love burns away
our sparks ignite;
only to fade.
#love
#regret
#romantic
#fire
#bittersweet
187 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
14th Feb 2024 2:58am
14th Feb 2024 2:58am
no dimension
no dimension
no connection
conversations with a wall
now or later
in your favor
words slip away
with the warmth of fall
no connection
conversations with a wall
now or later
in your favor
words slip away
with the warmth of fall
#loneliness
#fall
#FreeVerse
#acceptance
#bittersweet
195 reads
4 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
12th Feb 2024 7:17pm
12th Feb 2024 7:17pm
a letter to my mother
dear mom,
people have divorced parents. this is something else. it's been eleven years since the last time we saw each other, and almost ten years since we last spoke on the phone. i was 7 years old then. i'm turning 18 in june. i'm on the honor roll and the student council. i got accepted into every college i applied to, mom! i'm going to be a clinical psychologist. i got a good scholarship too, despite missing about a third of my freshman year. i won't tell you why that is. my gpa took a pretty hard hit and i'll leave it at that. i work really hard in school, i think that's the...
people have divorced parents. this is something else. it's been eleven years since the last time we saw each other, and almost ten years since we last spoke on the phone. i was 7 years old then. i'm turning 18 in june. i'm on the honor roll and the student council. i got accepted into every college i applied to, mom! i'm going to be a clinical psychologist. i got a good scholarship too, despite missing about a third of my freshman year. i won't tell you why that is. my gpa took a pretty hard hit and i'll leave it at that. i work really hard in school, i think that's the...
#regret
#mother
#betrayal
#separation
#daughter
165 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
5th Feb 2024 5:05am
5th Feb 2024 5:05am
hyper aware
never was this an epiphany
the basis never changed
i’ll embrace this dead-end symphony
of anachronistic rage
dependence to be needed
and the curse to be without
impedimental sediment,
my hinderance of doubt
neuroticism so inevitably
the price of eccentricity
the ever-present horror that is
based upon my history
and time has run it’s course
but i’ll never feel okay
until...
the basis never changed
i’ll embrace this dead-end symphony
of anachronistic rage
dependence to be needed
and the curse to be without
impedimental sediment,
my hinderance of doubt
neuroticism so inevitably
the price of eccentricity
the ever-present horror that is
based upon my history
and time has run it’s course
but i’ll never feel okay
until...
#depression
#loneliness
#shame
#SelfReflection
#apathy
164 reads
1 Comment
ANGER POEM
Published
24th Aug 2023 4:00pm
24th Aug 2023 4:00pm
you look so lovely
i look so lovely when i smile for the picture
i look so lovely on your yearly tax return
i look so lovely when my mouth is stitched shut
i look so lovely when i'm sedated
you look so lovely at the parabola's inverse
the x-value is cancelled when you cross its plane
we lose recollection of the coordinates
driving further into your delusive love
you look so lovely
in a seven-year-old's
maxed out bottle of prozac
the malice that plagues your face
over a decade later
when i promise you i will ...
i look so lovely on your yearly tax return
i look so lovely when my mouth is stitched shut
i look so lovely when i'm sedated
you look so lovely at the parabola's inverse
the x-value is cancelled when you cross its plane
we lose recollection of the coordinates
driving further into your delusive love
you look so lovely
in a seven-year-old's
maxed out bottle of prozac
the malice that plagues your face
over a decade later
when i promise you i will ...
#childhood
#MovingOn
#bittersweet
226 reads
6 Comments
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