Submissions by Vortex32167 (Stephan van Pinksteren)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I write down whatever comes to mind. Just write and read later. Sometimes suprises sometimes dissapointment
DARK POEM
Published
7th Jul 2021 10:44pm
7th Jul 2021 10:44pm
Her House
That house full of love and pride,
Not yet stained by my hands,
The safe haven where I like to hide.
I would lose my mind without her touch.
She keeps me from going insane.
Yet, I can’t be there too much.
I can always find my refuge in her home.
When my pain becomes too intense,
It is there I like to roam.
Her voice soft and forgiving,
Her tongue sharp and true,
Guiding me to a new beginning.
That place made of mortar and stone,
A lifeless inanimate object.
But a place where I’m not alone.
Not yet stained by my hands,
The safe haven where I like to hide.
I would lose my mind without her touch.
She keeps me from going insane.
Yet, I can’t be there too much.
I can always find my refuge in her home.
When my pain becomes too intense,
It is there I like to roam.
Her voice soft and forgiving,
Her tongue sharp and true,
Guiding me to a new beginning.
That place made of mortar and stone,
A lifeless inanimate object.
But a place where I’m not alone.
#depression
#BestFriend
#support #escape
#support #escape
421 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
6th Jul 2021 10:27pm
6th Jul 2021 10:27pm
Delusional Hearing
Screams in the distance,
A laughter loud and deafening.
I can’t concentrate.
It gets louder and more threatening.
No, no I came back for you,
Where are you now?
What happened to me,
Where am I? I do not know.
Delusions, Get away from me,
I don’t need your distractions.
What you want and need are not the same.
These are only your natural reactions.
This place is a refuge from the maelstrom.
Get out of my way, Leave me alone.
You don’t remember, it doesn’t matter.
To you, this place is not unknown. ...
A laughter loud and deafening.
I can’t concentrate.
It gets louder and more threatening.
No, no I came back for you,
Where are you now?
What happened to me,
Where am I? I do not know.
Delusions, Get away from me,
I don’t need your distractions.
What you want and need are not the same.
These are only your natural reactions.
This place is a refuge from the maelstrom.
Get out of my way, Leave me alone.
You don’t remember, it doesn’t matter.
To you, this place is not unknown. ...
#depression
#dialogue
#confusion #despair
#confusion #despair
377 reads
0 Comments
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
5th Jul 2021 10:41pm
5th Jul 2021 10:41pm
Mumbling in the night
This is a diary entry form last week. I don't know the exact date anymore. But after reading it back to myself I needed to put it on DU.
I find myself struggling to find my place, I’m totally losing my mind. Where do I belong what is my purpose? Do I exist only to please my wife and children? Is there something more for me? I can imagine a life without purpose or goal. I try to set a goal each and every day. Today I want to finish that hard project we’ve been working on for over 2 months. Tomorrow I want to clean the whole house. And the day after I want to tidy up the entire...
I find myself struggling to find my place, I’m totally losing my mind. Where do I belong what is my purpose? Do I exist only to please my wife and children? Is there something more for me? I can imagine a life without purpose or goal. I try to set a goal each and every day. Today I want to finish that hard project we’ve been working on for over 2 months. Tomorrow I want to clean the whole house. And the day after I want to tidy up the entire...
#children
#family
#MentalHealth #LifeGoals
#MentalHealth #LifeGoals
341 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
5th Jul 2021 4:51pm
5th Jul 2021 4:51pm
Friend in my Thoughts
In my mind so Infinite,
You were my friend?
Once we were so close and intimate,
You were always there, until the end.
Hours after hours, days after days.
You guided me thru my delirium.
A mind in ruin, a complex maze,
You were my medicine, my Lithium.
Now you are too far away from me.
Left me with all the destruction you brought,
Once your interference was a guarantee.
Now you’re lost inside my memories, a vague thought.
Now I should be free from you enslavement.
But I still feel your wretched presence. ...
You were my friend?
Once we were so close and intimate,
You were always there, until the end.
Hours after hours, days after days.
You guided me thru my delirium.
A mind in ruin, a complex maze,
You were my medicine, my Lithium.
Now you are too far away from me.
Left me with all the destruction you brought,
Once your interference was a guarantee.
Now you’re lost inside my memories, a vague thought.
Now I should be free from you enslavement.
But I still feel your wretched presence. ...
#depression
#dark
#MentalHealth
304 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
4th Jul 2021 10:24pm
4th Jul 2021 10:24pm
As it Seems
A silent killer in my sleep,
The assassination of my dreams.
Nightmare fuelled instincts rise.
Nothing is as it seems.
Delusional thinking taking over.
Shadows, spectres and screams.
I’m seeing things that shouldn’t be here.
Nothing is as it seems.
It’s trying to scratch and break me,
Stitches tearing at the seams.
Bleeding all over the floor,
But nothing is as it seems,
Violently and scared I wake up,
Sweat running down my back in streams.
Is see my blood soaked sheets,
Everything is as it seems.
The assassination of my dreams.
Nightmare fuelled instincts rise.
Nothing is as it seems.
Delusional thinking taking over.
Shadows, spectres and screams.
I’m seeing things that shouldn’t be here.
Nothing is as it seems.
It’s trying to scratch and break me,
Stitches tearing at the seams.
Bleeding all over the floor,
But nothing is as it seems,
Violently and scared I wake up,
Sweat running down my back in streams.
Is see my blood soaked sheets,
Everything is as it seems.
#anxiety
#dark
#SelfHarm #MentalHealth
#SelfHarm #MentalHealth
399 reads
2 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
2nd Jul 2021 5:40pm
2nd Jul 2021 5:40pm
The Womans Wrath
Why always so angry and so loud?
Calm down, sit, and let’s have a chat.
Don’t try to scream over the crowd,
Don’t behave like a little brat.
Your anger, confusing me in discussion.
I try to reason with you, I try to connect.
You are leaving me with a concussion.
A headache that leaves me wrecked.
As I’m consumed with even more sadness.
The volume increases and the pitch gets higher.
It is ringing in my mind, driving me to madness.
I try to turn it down, but get tangled in your barbed wire.
While you’re...
Calm down, sit, and let’s have a chat.
Don’t try to scream over the crowd,
Don’t behave like a little brat.
Your anger, confusing me in discussion.
I try to reason with you, I try to connect.
You are leaving me with a concussion.
A headache that leaves me wrecked.
As I’m consumed with even more sadness.
The volume increases and the pitch gets higher.
It is ringing in my mind, driving me to madness.
I try to turn it down, but get tangled in your barbed wire.
While you’re...
#anger
#anxiety
#abuse
#despair
#DomesticViolence
471 reads
4 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
1st Jul 2021 10:07pm
1st Jul 2021 10:07pm
The Label
A label placed cold and lifeless like a stone,
You’ll have to carry it, but you are not alone.
The label insignificant, heartless and dead,
Nothing but a piece of paper to be read.
The label is not a warning not a price-tag,
It can’t value you as a person, it’s not your flag.
The label can be frightening and incomplete,
But behind every label there is a person in need.
A label placed is not a label attached,
It does not define you, nor will it ever do.
You’ll have to carry it, but you are not alone.
The label insignificant, heartless and dead,
Nothing but a piece of paper to be read.
The label is not a warning not a price-tag,
It can’t value you as a person, it’s not your flag.
The label can be frightening and incomplete,
But behind every label there is a person in need.
A label placed is not a label attached,
It does not define you, nor will it ever do.
#strength
#inspirational
#uplifting
294 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
30th Jun 2021 4:51pm
30th Jun 2021 4:51pm
My existence
When do we cease to exist?
Most of us do not know,
Some believe in something I dismissed.
There is no ‘up there’ nor ‘down below’.
Questions, too many for my liking.
Religion has no real answers for me.
Reincarnation, the concept of recycling.
All too vague, don’t you agree?
When believing in those there is no end.
No end to all the pain and anguish.
Death, an unwelcome friend,
Suicide, an unfaithful whish.
By letting go, being an atheist for all time.
I feel no remorse in taking my own life.
Without...
Most of us do not know,
Some believe in something I dismissed.
There is no ‘up there’ nor ‘down below’.
Questions, too many for my liking.
Religion has no real answers for me.
Reincarnation, the concept of recycling.
All too vague, don’t you agree?
When believing in those there is no end.
No end to all the pain and anguish.
Death, an unwelcome friend,
Suicide, an unfaithful whish.
By letting go, being an atheist for all time.
I feel no remorse in taking my own life.
Without...
#depression
#suicide
#religion #fear
#religion #fear
440 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
28th Jun 2021 9:38pm
28th Jun 2021 9:38pm
Story of anxiety
All right where shall I start?
Maybe right after he changed schools?
Or the lack of friends that tore him apart?
The beginning should be in between,
Not sure if he would be there the next day,
Hopelessly relying on friends he has never seen.
No close friends he had,
Enemy’s more than enough.
Is that what made him go mad?
The constant threat of beatings by those unknown,
The relentless shouting and unfamiliar faces.
Suddenly the world goes dark, the shouts diminish, all is gone.
Maybe right after he changed schools?
Or the lack of friends that tore him apart?
The beginning should be in between,
Not sure if he would be there the next day,
Hopelessly relying on friends he has never seen.
No close friends he had,
Enemy’s more than enough.
Is that what made him go mad?
The constant threat of beatings by those unknown,
The relentless shouting and unfamiliar faces.
Suddenly the world goes dark, the shouts diminish, all is gone.
#anxiety
#depression
#suicide #MentalHealth
#suicide #MentalHealth
395 reads
0 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
28th Jun 2021 4:17pm
28th Jun 2021 4:17pm
Children and depression
Wandering with no direction,
Feelings and emotions control every step.
Deprived of love and affection.
Two pale shadows next to me on this journey,
A son and a daughter reaching for a warm embrace.
While I’m pleeing for a little bit of mercy.
I can’t give what I don’t own.
My heart is cold and lifeless,
My mind is dark but I’m not alone.
I have to share my thoughts with a foreign invader,
Speaking words they cannot hear nor comprehend.
Trying to get all this nonsense on paper.
Hoping they will read my stories...
Feelings and emotions control every step.
Deprived of love and affection.
Two pale shadows next to me on this journey,
A son and a daughter reaching for a warm embrace.
While I’m pleeing for a little bit of mercy.
I can’t give what I don’t own.
My heart is cold and lifeless,
My mind is dark but I’m not alone.
I have to share my thoughts with a foreign invader,
Speaking words they cannot hear nor comprehend.
Trying to get all this nonsense on paper.
Hoping they will read my stories...
#sadness
#depression
#children
#abuse
#despair
308 reads
1 Comment
DARK POEM
Published
25th Jun 2021 10:30pm
25th Jun 2021 10:30pm
World inside my mind
My prison of shame,
The shackles of fear.
Chains of the past,
A future nowhere near.
My shadows of guilt,
The void of suffering.
Darkness of my mind,
Accept my offering.
My room of silence,
The chamber of loneliness.
A home built for the wicked,
Protected and soundless.
My plain of despair,
The Marsh of sadness.
A valley carved by tears,
And filled with madness.
My castle of grief,
The keep of anxiety.
A fortress made of stone,
Where I reside quietly.
The shackles of fear.
Chains of the past,
A future nowhere near.
My shadows of guilt,
The void of suffering.
Darkness of my mind,
Accept my offering.
My room of silence,
The chamber of loneliness.
A home built for the wicked,
Protected and soundless.
My plain of despair,
The Marsh of sadness.
A valley carved by tears,
And filled with madness.
My castle of grief,
The keep of anxiety.
A fortress made of stone,
Where I reside quietly.
#anxiety
#depression
#dark
356 reads
4 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
25th Jun 2021 8:00pm
25th Jun 2021 8:00pm
State of Mind
In my field of view,
Only a plane of nothingness.
A vast wasteland with nothing to pursue.
Aimlessly roaming the cracked terrain,
Deprived of water and life.
With every single step, ending in pain.
Trying to create meaning out of nothing,
Achieving creation of something valuable,
Flesh, blood and soul, shaped to be stunning.
But nothing can endure in this place,
The plane of nothingness is deprived of hope.
And it is something I alone must face.
Only a plane of nothingness.
A vast wasteland with nothing to pursue.
Aimlessly roaming the cracked terrain,
Deprived of water and life.
With every single step, ending in pain.
Trying to create meaning out of nothing,
Achieving creation of something valuable,
Flesh, blood and soul, shaped to be stunning.
But nothing can endure in this place,
The plane of nothingness is deprived of hope.
And it is something I alone must face.
#anxiety
#depression
284 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Vortex32167 (Stephan van Pinksteren)
