Submissions by Punkpoetdetectives
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Hi we are poets
ANGER POEM
Published
17th Jan 2015 10:01pm
17th Jan 2015 10:01pm
The Passive Agresive Punk Poet Detective Handbook (Second Edition)
Yeagh, I admit I spilt your pint
Now you're stood before me trying to start a fight
It was kind of pathetic, I tried not to laugh
I wouldn't have minded buy you clearly haven't bathed
I just want to drink, not start a fight above the cellar
But that's what you get when you drink 8 pints of stella
My sarcasm, I think you misunderstood
So I read a page from the passive aggressive punk poets handbook
It gave me excellent advice, I swore only once, not twice
He took exception to this
Curled his hand to make a fist
He knocked the book out my hand, I...
Now you're stood before me trying to start a fight
It was kind of pathetic, I tried not to laugh
I wouldn't have minded buy you clearly haven't bathed
I just want to drink, not start a fight above the cellar
But that's what you get when you drink 8 pints of stella
My sarcasm, I think you misunderstood
So I read a page from the passive aggressive punk poets handbook
It gave me excellent advice, I swore only once, not twice
He took exception to this
Curled his hand to make a fist
He knocked the book out my hand, I...
602 reads
1 Comment
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
17th Jan 2015 9:42pm
17th Jan 2015 9:42pm
The Best Christmas Ever!!
The Best Xmas Ever
By The Punk Poet Detectives
A family of four generations
Sit around a table
They make small talk
And pretend to care
But they've all got places
They'd rather be
False smiles
And forced imprisonment
For one Solitary day
Alcohols served like salvation in a bottle
Moronic Christmas tunes,
make the ears bleed
The skin crawl
The Turkeys red raw
Like a casualty of war
The roast potatoes taste like bullets
Tinsel droops like a hangman's noose
Devoid of Christmas cheer
The host raises his...
By The Punk Poet Detectives
A family of four generations
Sit around a table
They make small talk
And pretend to care
But they've all got places
They'd rather be
False smiles
And forced imprisonment
For one Solitary day
Alcohols served like salvation in a bottle
Moronic Christmas tunes,
make the ears bleed
The skin crawl
The Turkeys red raw
Like a casualty of war
The roast potatoes taste like bullets
Tinsel droops like a hangman's noose
Devoid of Christmas cheer
The host raises his...
619 reads
1 Comment
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
9th Nov 2014 6:32pm
9th Nov 2014 6:32pm
Untitled Eulogy
They now sleep forever
All their pain has slipped away
Spirits protect them
And show them the way
With loving thoughts of family and friends
All ways in their dreams
Surrounded by a tranquil sky
The landscapes lush and green
The drinks here flow like rivers
And the clouds they never rain
Its a place of sheer beauty
Full of joy and no pain
They'll never be forgotten
Always in your hearts
The memories last forever
and their love it never parts
Your spirit sighs beauty
captivating with every glance
Your essence inspires...
All their pain has slipped away
Spirits protect them
And show them the way
With loving thoughts of family and friends
All ways in their dreams
Surrounded by a tranquil sky
The landscapes lush and green
The drinks here flow like rivers
And the clouds they never rain
Its a place of sheer beauty
Full of joy and no pain
They'll never be forgotten
Always in your hearts
The memories last forever
and their love it never parts
Your spirit sighs beauty
captivating with every glance
Your essence inspires...
548 reads
2 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
6th Nov 2014 10:48pm
6th Nov 2014 10:48pm
The Loneliness Of The Jeremy Kyle Return Guest
Men are from mars
Women from Venus
I wanna sponge off the state
and choke my penis
Spread my seed
Across this green and pleasant land
The devil and I
We walk hand in in hand
I'd sell my soul
For a twenty pack of fags
My tracksuits all torn
I'm always on the blag
I claim disability
And walk to the pub
I sliver through this life
Like a parasitic slug
I wanted a new life
a new direction
not public embarrassment
and a hidden erection
A search for my long last brother ...
Women from Venus
I wanna sponge off the state
and choke my penis
Spread my seed
Across this green and pleasant land
The devil and I
We walk hand in in hand
I'd sell my soul
For a twenty pack of fags
My tracksuits all torn
I'm always on the blag
I claim disability
And walk to the pub
I sliver through this life
Like a parasitic slug
I wanted a new life
a new direction
not public embarrassment
and a hidden erection
A search for my long last brother ...
577 reads
0 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
2nd Nov 2014 12:15pm
2nd Nov 2014 12:15pm
My Little Phony
My Little Phony” By The Punk Poet Detectives
Faker then a politician,
Falser then a smile
Breath like halitosis
I run a bloody mile.
fantastic as molten plastic
artificial as Jordan's tits
superficial as a wedding day
your words give me the shits.
You're a wolf in sheep's clothing
You're a trap door to hell
A jaffa in a sperm bank
A colostomy bag in a gale
Muddying the waters
Shit spreading's your game
Just a leach of lust
A tick with no brain.
I name you "my little phony"
when you Pretend to be...
Faker then a politician,
Falser then a smile
Breath like halitosis
I run a bloody mile.
fantastic as molten plastic
artificial as Jordan's tits
superficial as a wedding day
your words give me the shits.
You're a wolf in sheep's clothing
You're a trap door to hell
A jaffa in a sperm bank
A colostomy bag in a gale
Muddying the waters
Shit spreading's your game
Just a leach of lust
A tick with no brain.
I name you "my little phony"
when you Pretend to be...
661 reads
3 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
26th Oct 2014 12:25pm
26th Oct 2014 12:25pm
f**k You Very Much
Now I’m pissing in the wind
our poetry’s in the bin
You’re a waste of space Mr Heckler
A tramps foreskin
Your mother’s vigina’s shaped like a wizard’s sleeve
Her scampi scented lips
Just make me want TO heave
Your cannon fodder
For the powers that be
Sleep with your daddy’s sister
You got the IQ of a flea
A bull terrier in one hand
A special brew in the other
Marching down the street
You look like Adolf Hitler’s brother.
You whinge and complain
But you get nothing done
You’re a bully and a fascist
People’s misery makes...
our poetry’s in the bin
You’re a waste of space Mr Heckler
A tramps foreskin
Your mother’s vigina’s shaped like a wizard’s sleeve
Her scampi scented lips
Just make me want TO heave
Your cannon fodder
For the powers that be
Sleep with your daddy’s sister
You got the IQ of a flea
A bull terrier in one hand
A special brew in the other
Marching down the street
You look like Adolf Hitler’s brother.
You whinge and complain
But you get nothing done
You’re a bully and a fascist
People’s misery makes...
859 reads
0 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
23rd Oct 2014 8:33pm
23rd Oct 2014 8:33pm
Barstool Philospher
He sways on his bar stool
props up the bar
Tells me you ain't nothing special son
You won't get far
His life's soaked in whiskey
He's doing his time
Tells me You ain't a real poet son
Real poets don't rhyme
He's an expert on women
But sleeps alone in his bed
An ex hit-man
with two bullets in his head
He's walked around the world
Four times just for fun
Run an marathon in a minute
Showed Forrest gump how to run
He's been a teacher, a marine
An ex MP
Blinded by hatred
A ship lost at sea
His victims every night...
props up the bar
Tells me you ain't nothing special son
You won't get far
His life's soaked in whiskey
He's doing his time
Tells me You ain't a real poet son
Real poets don't rhyme
He's an expert on women
But sleeps alone in his bed
An ex hit-man
with two bullets in his head
He's walked around the world
Four times just for fun
Run an marathon in a minute
Showed Forrest gump how to run
He's been a teacher, a marine
An ex MP
Blinded by hatred
A ship lost at sea
His victims every night...
678 reads
9 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
21st Oct 2014 8:00pm
21st Oct 2014 8:00pm
Ode to Ed Sheeran
Ginger like biscuit
you crumble under my fist
pretentious as Chris martin
energetic as a pubic cyst
You're as Interesting as dog turd
annoying as a dose of thrush
your words are like small pox
deadly to the touch.
Every songs a car crash
In a field of fluffy dreams
Lets blast you off in a rocket ship
Where no one can hear your screams
Strumming your flimsy G string
You're a James Blunt wannabe
YOUR BEAUTIFUL YES YOUR BEAUTIFUL
I bet you sit down too pee.
Your first album was dire ...
you crumble under my fist
pretentious as Chris martin
energetic as a pubic cyst
You're as Interesting as dog turd
annoying as a dose of thrush
your words are like small pox
deadly to the touch.
Every songs a car crash
In a field of fluffy dreams
Lets blast you off in a rocket ship
Where no one can hear your screams
Strumming your flimsy G string
You're a James Blunt wannabe
YOUR BEAUTIFUL YES YOUR BEAUTIFUL
I bet you sit down too pee.
Your first album was dire ...
661 reads
7 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
19th Nov 2013 9:29pm
19th Nov 2013 9:29pm
Big Fish, Little Fish, Old Skool G
He smokes cuban cigars
he'll put horses head in your bed
Dont look him in the eye
or he'll fill ya full of lead
he has a gold plated smile
a stolen credit card
pursed by interpol
hunted by scotland yard
he's the underworld of nightmare's
a gangster devoid of love
pin striped suits
money is his god
with a broad under one arm
and a tommy gun in the other
he'll take your money
steal your girl and take her back to mother
A wannabe gangster
marlon brando he wishes
His ex she wants her child support
Now she's sleeping with...
he'll put horses head in your bed
Dont look him in the eye
or he'll fill ya full of lead
he has a gold plated smile
a stolen credit card
pursed by interpol
hunted by scotland yard
he's the underworld of nightmare's
a gangster devoid of love
pin striped suits
money is his god
with a broad under one arm
and a tommy gun in the other
he'll take your money
steal your girl and take her back to mother
A wannabe gangster
marlon brando he wishes
His ex she wants her child support
Now she's sleeping with...
827 reads
2 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
19th Nov 2013 9:16pm
19th Nov 2013 9:16pm
Privatis-Nation
Privis-Nation" By Marcus Cooke And Tom Quinton
For your information...
Privitisation, the death of a nation
killing the NHS without justification
placing profit before health
money before healing
but its not just are wallets
that this goverment is stealing
Privitisation, benefits
the rich and the greedy
alienating the poor the weak
and the needy.
Let me tell you a rumour
the tumour in your humour
about the private monopoly
out to exsploit the consumer
fat cats swim in seas of greed ...
For your information...
Privitisation, the death of a nation
killing the NHS without justification
placing profit before health
money before healing
but its not just are wallets
that this goverment is stealing
Privitisation, benefits
the rich and the greedy
alienating the poor the weak
and the needy.
Let me tell you a rumour
the tumour in your humour
about the private monopoly
out to exsploit the consumer
fat cats swim in seas of greed ...
764 reads
4 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
18th Nov 2013 10:14pm
18th Nov 2013 10:14pm
Punk Poetry Double Shot #3 - TV Licance To Kill/MTV Generation
TV licence To Kill/ MTV Generation By Marcus Cooke and Tom Quinton
Act One - Tv Licance To Kill By Marcus Cooke
I just paid for
a tv licance to kill
it was exciting
it wasnt a thrill
£1.45.45 left a horrid taste
in my throat
and a string off disgisting words
to horrid to quote.
Nearly £150 quid to watch
cash in the attic
as i sink in to the arm chair
you can tell my face was ecstatic.
A BBC ident fills the screen
i piss my pants and want to scream
roots sprout from my fingertips
and start to grow...
Act One - Tv Licance To Kill By Marcus Cooke
I just paid for
a tv licance to kill
it was exciting
it wasnt a thrill
£1.45.45 left a horrid taste
in my throat
and a string off disgisting words
to horrid to quote.
Nearly £150 quid to watch
cash in the attic
as i sink in to the arm chair
you can tell my face was ecstatic.
A BBC ident fills the screen
i piss my pants and want to scream
roots sprout from my fingertips
and start to grow...
733 reads
4 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
17th Nov 2013 00:06am
17th Nov 2013 00:06am
Punk Poetry Double Shot #2 - The Town That Ate Its Own Heart/A Town Called Love And Die
The Town That Ate Its Own Heart By Marcus Cooke/A Town Called Live And Die By Tom Quinton
Side A "The Town That Ate Its Own Heart" By Marcus Cooke
Cold,
The dead sky beats grey
scorched with the smell
of age old rust.
Twenty years ago
This graveyard
Was empty
Now the blind eyes
Of metal corpses
sucks at my feet
Like the clenched
Teeth of a rapid dog.
Some would say
The town was already dead
Its people a collection of ghosts
And faint echos that once
Ruled this golden utopia ...
Side A "The Town That Ate Its Own Heart" By Marcus Cooke
Cold,
The dead sky beats grey
scorched with the smell
of age old rust.
Twenty years ago
This graveyard
Was empty
Now the blind eyes
Of metal corpses
sucks at my feet
Like the clenched
Teeth of a rapid dog.
Some would say
The town was already dead
Its people a collection of ghosts
And faint echos that once
Ruled this golden utopia ...
488 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by Punkpoetdetectives
