Submissions by DrunkOnRoseWater (diabolous)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Things I've Wanted to Say to my Therapist (But Never Have)
I'm sorry, sir, for wasting your time,
But there's really no reason for me to be here.
You make me kind of nervous.
That's why I'm not talking.
I promise I'll speak more next session.
Just give me some time.
I want you to take me off these meds.
I swear I don't need them, you should know that,
Don't you?
Please stop calling last month a
"Suicide attempt," it wasn't.
Please stop talking about the notes
You shouldn't have read.
I promise I'm not lying to you,
Please just listen.
You never ask questions, just...
But there's really no reason for me to be here.
You make me kind of nervous.
That's why I'm not talking.
I promise I'll speak more next session.
Just give me some time.
I want you to take me off these meds.
I swear I don't need them, you should know that,
Don't you?
Please stop calling last month a
"Suicide attempt," it wasn't.
Please stop talking about the notes
You shouldn't have read.
I promise I'm not lying to you,
Please just listen.
You never ask questions, just...
901 reads
1 Comment
Gift
Delicately,
I offered you a gift.
You gave it back to me.
I offered you a gift.
You gave it back to me.
674 reads
3 Comments
Be a Good Girl and Swallow
Want me to be a good girl?
Get down on my knees,
Swallow
The hospitals’
Mantra:
“Everyone deserves help”?
I go by triage rules, motherfucker,
And I’ve just got a paper cut.
Get down on my knees,
Swallow
The hospitals’
Mantra:
“Everyone deserves help”?
I go by triage rules, motherfucker,
And I’ve just got a paper cut.
574 reads
0 Comments
Doublethink
You can’t fuck with my mind.
I do that on my own.
Circles run in tandem
Different directions
Crashing into myself.
Running on with the broken bones,
Fractured skull,
And bleeding knees,
To crash again into opposing views
Equally held.
I do that on my own.
Circles run in tandem
Different directions
Crashing into myself.
Running on with the broken bones,
Fractured skull,
And bleeding knees,
To crash again into opposing views
Equally held.
633 reads
1 Comment
Thoughts Which Ramble into Novas
My pen sits at my desk, a dog
Patiently waiting for his master to give the command
And I sit here
Trying vainly to fill my mind with thoughts of you to place on the paper
But I find that I am a sieve,
The words falling through my fingers,
And the ink
Running scared
From the page.
I have never written
A love poem
Before.
I have written the “sad” poem.
The “hiding” poem.
The “empty” poem.
The “get the hell
Away
From me” poem.
But the love poem evades me,
Showing coyly only in incoherent
Bits...
Patiently waiting for his master to give the command
And I sit here
Trying vainly to fill my mind with thoughts of you to place on the paper
But I find that I am a sieve,
The words falling through my fingers,
And the ink
Running scared
From the page.
I have never written
A love poem
Before.
I have written the “sad” poem.
The “hiding” poem.
The “empty” poem.
The “get the hell
Away
From me” poem.
But the love poem evades me,
Showing coyly only in incoherent
Bits...
793 reads
2 Comments
(Untitled2)
Every day it’s there, just under the thoughts,
The diluted happiness,
The meaningless, useless attempts
To keep it at bay.
It’s the voice from the hollow nothingness,
Calling out to me.
Beckoning me closer,
Tempting me into a piercing embrace.
Every day I enter my cell more willingly—
Stockholm syndrome for the emptiness inside.
I’ll whisper endlessly on worthless,
Stand firm as my skin is pieced, just to prove
That I’m not weak.
You used to live in this cell with me,
And each day I’d go to stand with you.
Now...
The diluted happiness,
The meaningless, useless attempts
To keep it at bay.
It’s the voice from the hollow nothingness,
Calling out to me.
Beckoning me closer,
Tempting me into a piercing embrace.
Every day I enter my cell more willingly—
Stockholm syndrome for the emptiness inside.
I’ll whisper endlessly on worthless,
Stand firm as my skin is pieced, just to prove
That I’m not weak.
You used to live in this cell with me,
And each day I’d go to stand with you.
Now...
560 reads
0 Comments
Poem for the Blue Pills in my Cabinet, Locked
Dear Pills,
Please do not take offense
To my persistent proscription of your prescription.
You are simple sertraline hydrochloride soldiers
Following the doctor’s orders
To desolate the country of my cognizance,
To storm the castle where Depression waits—
A sad senile sapient so past his days,
His youth stolen by your fifty mages—
And bow him past perception.
I apologize for your amaranthine lack of acceptance,
But I remember when Depression
Was a king
Inside his castle,
Blade gleaming bright
With blood and...
Please do not take offense
To my persistent proscription of your prescription.
You are simple sertraline hydrochloride soldiers
Following the doctor’s orders
To desolate the country of my cognizance,
To storm the castle where Depression waits—
A sad senile sapient so past his days,
His youth stolen by your fifty mages—
And bow him past perception.
I apologize for your amaranthine lack of acceptance,
But I remember when Depression
Was a king
Inside his castle,
Blade gleaming bright
With blood and...
556 reads
0 Comments
Run
I’m so tired of this.
Delicate words of sorrow and care.
Does this only matter when it’s your mind on the line?
What about mine?
My heart’s not a fairytale— it really exists.
And recently the bruises
Have your finger prints.
I laid myself bare, I offered my thoughts.
They shattered one by one in your hands,
And now all that’s left is the sadness and pain.
So hand me a knife,
Give me a gun,
Draft me a poison,
And hope to God that you run.
Delicate words of sorrow and care.
Does this only matter when it’s your mind on the line?
What about mine?
My heart’s not a fairytale— it really exists.
And recently the bruises
Have your finger prints.
I laid myself bare, I offered my thoughts.
They shattered one by one in your hands,
And now all that’s left is the sadness and pain.
So hand me a knife,
Give me a gun,
Draft me a poison,
And hope to God that you run.
805 reads
1 Comment
So Sorry to Try
I try, I swear I do.
I tried to end the pain I cause,
I tried to see the way you feel.
I set my heart to trying to be a better person, just
The way that you wanted.
And all you say?
“It’s wrong, it’s not enough, you’ve only hurt me more.”
And I’m left with nothing more than tears that say
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m so sorry I tried.”
I tried to end the pain I cause,
I tried to see the way you feel.
I set my heart to trying to be a better person, just
The way that you wanted.
And all you say?
“It’s wrong, it’s not enough, you’ve only hurt me more.”
And I’m left with nothing more than tears that say
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m so sorry I tried.”
530 reads
0 Comments
Sonnet 1- Of Sandman and Thanatos
He comes with garish face and jarring grin
You knave, oh Sandman, what dream do you bring?
Of rubies, silver, or things so akin?
Take my sleep-weary eyes, give me your wing.
I haven’t forgotten when last we met
The visions you brought, so sweet in my head
Give me them again, let them not abet.
Though I doubt not that I’m being misled.
Oh my dear sandman, the time is so short!
As my eyes fall shut, my heart’s in my throat.
Alas, I see that death is my consort!
Alack, my mind's changed! My black heart I’ll tote!
This...
You knave, oh Sandman, what dream do you bring?
Of rubies, silver, or things so akin?
Take my sleep-weary eyes, give me your wing.
I haven’t forgotten when last we met
The visions you brought, so sweet in my head
Give me them again, let them not abet.
Though I doubt not that I’m being misled.
Oh my dear sandman, the time is so short!
As my eyes fall shut, my heart’s in my throat.
Alas, I see that death is my consort!
Alack, my mind's changed! My black heart I’ll tote!
This...
482 reads
0 Comments
A Lot to Live Down to
Wealthy, successful parents.
A CEO in a leather office chair.
A gold pin for his tie.
A house with more bright rooms than dark corners.
Fancy clothes to hide your fears.
Money at your fingertips and in your mind.
You’ve got a lot to live up to.
Crazy, sociopathic father.
A sister swinging from a rope.
A bag over his head.
A man in empty hospital room.
Scars to wear forever.
Death at my fingertips and in my mind.
I’ve got a lot to live down to.
And who’s more likely to succeed?
A CEO in a leather office chair.
A gold pin for his tie.
A house with more bright rooms than dark corners.
Fancy clothes to hide your fears.
Money at your fingertips and in your mind.
You’ve got a lot to live up to.
Crazy, sociopathic father.
A sister swinging from a rope.
A bag over his head.
A man in empty hospital room.
Scars to wear forever.
Death at my fingertips and in my mind.
I’ve got a lot to live down to.
And who’s more likely to succeed?
504 reads
1 Comment
Giving Up
What is there here for me
Amongst all these black and white sighted people?
What is there here for me behind these locked doors that I cannot escape?
I’m shut up in my mind but laid bare, in front of all these prying eyes
And tearing fingers that make me bleed,
Oh, so much more than I ever did.
“Love”
It’s a four letter word.
Oh, it’s so much worse.
Tossed around so casually
Don’t you know the damage it does?
Don’t say you love me.
Don’t say you care.
It’s just an excuse to
Watch me scream as you rip my thoughts...
Amongst all these black and white sighted people?
What is there here for me behind these locked doors that I cannot escape?
I’m shut up in my mind but laid bare, in front of all these prying eyes
And tearing fingers that make me bleed,
Oh, so much more than I ever did.
“Love”
It’s a four letter word.
Oh, it’s so much worse.
Tossed around so casually
Don’t you know the damage it does?
Don’t say you love me.
Don’t say you care.
It’s just an excuse to
Watch me scream as you rip my thoughts...
546 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by DrunkOnRoseWater (diabolous)