Submissions by 3ampoems (Celine Belli)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
Writer, Sound Engineer, Musician, Artist, Lover.
LOVE POEM
Published
10th Dec 2009 3:19am
10th Dec 2009 3:19am
little things
it is amazing, the little things
like
the way our hands just
fall into place when they are held
together
like
the way our hands just
fall into place when they are held
together
792 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
5th Dec 2009 7:38pm
5th Dec 2009 7:38pm
breathing difficulties
suffocation like a thousand hurricanes
destroying my mind and sending foiled messages
my senses are incomplete
perturbed for i am nothing but
tiny pieces of debris after an earthquake
i screech and screech until my lungs are sore
but nobody listens
for i am stuck beneath an
invisible pillow
and everything just bounces back to me
killing
it hits straight to the middle
just a little bit to the left where
the ugly thing beats with no purpose
and i wonder everyfuckingtime
what the hell is worth it
i feel the stares...
destroying my mind and sending foiled messages
my senses are incomplete
perturbed for i am nothing but
tiny pieces of debris after an earthquake
i screech and screech until my lungs are sore
but nobody listens
for i am stuck beneath an
invisible pillow
and everything just bounces back to me
killing
it hits straight to the middle
just a little bit to the left where
the ugly thing beats with no purpose
and i wonder everyfuckingtime
what the hell is worth it
i feel the stares...
811 reads
1 Comment
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
5th Dec 2009 7:36pm
5th Dec 2009 7:36pm
I want to be a father
People say once you take one faulty step, the rest screw up.
People also say you can turn back to the beginning, but I say that's only if they let you.
I once took a faulty step, but everyone else did the screwing up.
They judged.
They bloody judged when I tried to make my life a little more stable. I am always wrong, he is always right; we were saying the same things. I was unacceptable. Because I'm the odd one, & he's not. Because I'm gay and he's not, no, no, he's in some goddamn church exchanging rings in holy matrimony.
I am never allowed, and he is; though...
People also say you can turn back to the beginning, but I say that's only if they let you.
I once took a faulty step, but everyone else did the screwing up.
They judged.
They bloody judged when I tried to make my life a little more stable. I am always wrong, he is always right; we were saying the same things. I was unacceptable. Because I'm the odd one, & he's not. Because I'm gay and he's not, no, no, he's in some goddamn church exchanging rings in holy matrimony.
I am never allowed, and he is; though...
1004 reads
2 Comments
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
4th Dec 2009 3:44pm
4th Dec 2009 3:44pm
adolescence
we are
minorities of something colossal with
dropdead nervous sytems & alwaysfeelingunderpressureargh!
we are
not nothing
just time-halting storms
trying to see our laters a little clearer
and pretending we never
worry on our previous millionandtwentytwosteps
: i count.
i suffocate under
piles of
contemporary 'you must's
catching a breath at my own
'you can's
every now and then when
no one is watching
conflicts are enjoyable
just to the extend before
everyone takes it too seriously
and forget...
minorities of something colossal with
dropdead nervous sytems & alwaysfeelingunderpressureargh!
we are
not nothing
just time-halting storms
trying to see our laters a little clearer
and pretending we never
worry on our previous millionandtwentytwosteps
: i count.
i suffocate under
piles of
contemporary 'you must's
catching a breath at my own
'you can's
every now and then when
no one is watching
conflicts are enjoyable
just to the extend before
everyone takes it too seriously
and forget...
933 reads
2 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
4th Dec 2009 3:43pm
4th Dec 2009 3:43pm
i.am.schizophrenik
there was always a window but
never a view,
we were the wishes that
never came true and it is like
a tornado biting up my senses.
for every one count is
a hundred you's.
i tickle the spine of a lie
full of
neatly wrapped excuses
to ease my own guilt
of self invented satisfactions of which only
i appreciate.
do you trust me, do you?
I ask a million questions to
myself,
as i feed words of flattery
just because i want to hear them
& they don't come from you
for you doubt my everything
for...
never a view,
we were the wishes that
never came true and it is like
a tornado biting up my senses.
for every one count is
a hundred you's.
i tickle the spine of a lie
full of
neatly wrapped excuses
to ease my own guilt
of self invented satisfactions of which only
i appreciate.
do you trust me, do you?
I ask a million questions to
myself,
as i feed words of flattery
just because i want to hear them
& they don't come from you
for you doubt my everything
for...
956 reads
3 Comments
DARK POEM
Published
4th Dec 2009 7:39am
4th Dec 2009 7:39am
take suicide
i confess on the many times i
drop and tremble; the 4am behaviour when
i don't know who i am.
i confess with the things i say, knowing
what goes around comes around but
never caring -
until they did not
reach out when i
cried out
for somebody.
i confess to what i wish
i could've done but
never do - i never wanted a purpose;
wheredoigetit?howdoigetit?when?what?
bloodystupidquestions;
too much.
i try a little indifference
but my whole world is
turning a different page
i am - liberated -
...
drop and tremble; the 4am behaviour when
i don't know who i am.
i confess with the things i say, knowing
what goes around comes around but
never caring -
until they did not
reach out when i
cried out
for somebody.
i confess to what i wish
i could've done but
never do - i never wanted a purpose;
wheredoigetit?howdoigetit?when?what?
bloodystupidquestions;
too much.
i try a little indifference
but my whole world is
turning a different page
i am - liberated -
...
876 reads
4 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
4th Dec 2009 7:37am
4th Dec 2009 7:37am
the bus trip
A comfy cake,
I munch on thoughts that slip
in between the cracks and whirring of
smoky engines and raindrops on windows.
i see outside the small slit of closed curtains
all of life's expectations but none of mine
sadly; it was one beautiful sight.
i take time to procrastinate
those moments of which i realize
a million things in one thread of mind-topic,
a little daft, i presume I am; it takes
five years for me to capture who i really am
in the whole of my life.
i look back at the flailing roads rushing away
beneath me...
I munch on thoughts that slip
in between the cracks and whirring of
smoky engines and raindrops on windows.
i see outside the small slit of closed curtains
all of life's expectations but none of mine
sadly; it was one beautiful sight.
i take time to procrastinate
those moments of which i realize
a million things in one thread of mind-topic,
a little daft, i presume I am; it takes
five years for me to capture who i really am
in the whole of my life.
i look back at the flailing roads rushing away
beneath me...
816 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
3rd Dec 2009 4:14pm
3rd Dec 2009 4:14pm
two and everything
he makes me fake a cough and
look away
mess up my hair, fix it - repeat;
it's an addictive indulgence, this
annoying habit of embarassed insecurity
and
overwhelmed heartbeats
as i relish in ways he can
send colossal currents flooding through
my selfless body with just one slight touch
upon my skin
i am his mannequin, his play toy
; willing, though.
he whispers meaningless words but i melt
under his voice
& i could scratch a million blackboards,
deaf to it all as his breath still lingers....
look away
mess up my hair, fix it - repeat;
it's an addictive indulgence, this
annoying habit of embarassed insecurity
and
overwhelmed heartbeats
as i relish in ways he can
send colossal currents flooding through
my selfless body with just one slight touch
upon my skin
i am his mannequin, his play toy
; willing, though.
he whispers meaningless words but i melt
under his voice
& i could scratch a million blackboards,
deaf to it all as his breath still lingers....
801 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
3rd Dec 2009 4:10pm
3rd Dec 2009 4:10pm
for mine
i give lollipops to children
in return for a couple of their teardrops;
for mine have gone dry
and i need time to shed
and i need time to release
myself
i count the number of laughter i hear
as i sit myself upon
a park bench - dark green
like my glass.bottle.heart that could easily shatter
and
listen to how happiness
can blend everyone's voices
together
excluding mine;
for mine is weeping
i correct my answer to an equation
by writing it out carefully in the skies;
the number of heartbreaks felt
when A and B...
in return for a couple of their teardrops;
for mine have gone dry
and i need time to shed
and i need time to release
myself
i count the number of laughter i hear
as i sit myself upon
a park bench - dark green
like my glass.bottle.heart that could easily shatter
and
listen to how happiness
can blend everyone's voices
together
excluding mine;
for mine is weeping
i correct my answer to an equation
by writing it out carefully in the skies;
the number of heartbreaks felt
when A and B...
768 reads
1 Comment
DARK POEM
Published
3rd Dec 2009 3:21am
3rd Dec 2009 3:21am
suction
sitting with my back bent backwards
and legs unfolded
i shy away from uncanny stares and
shed tears through my fingertips
cold and numb from the oozing out of
my blood which i cannot seem to recognize no longer
no longer
i tear out my eyelashes
and kiss them senseless
a kiss per wish
a wish per pluck
until i run out of ways to believe
that dreams can actually come true
; i turn ugly
fucking ugly
i comb my hair with
razor blades and fork splinters
just to get the color right
to save myself from
dying...
and legs unfolded
i shy away from uncanny stares and
shed tears through my fingertips
cold and numb from the oozing out of
my blood which i cannot seem to recognize no longer
no longer
i tear out my eyelashes
and kiss them senseless
a kiss per wish
a wish per pluck
until i run out of ways to believe
that dreams can actually come true
; i turn ugly
fucking ugly
i comb my hair with
razor blades and fork splinters
just to get the color right
to save myself from
dying...
908 reads
2 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
3rd Dec 2009 3:20am
3rd Dec 2009 3:20am
breaking fingernails
i'm looking at you
a glimpse for a second
how i wish i could stick you to my mirror
and stare at you on a daily routine
to find any kind of flaw in you
that i can't locate now
but you're not even giving a glance
because you're not thinking about me
the way i am
or are you?
i wish you could notice the way i
strangle myself just for you to
hear me breathing
breathing your voice and
canyouhearyournameinmylaughter?
doing whatever i can
to remind myself of you
just in case you're not remembering me
i'm looking at...
a glimpse for a second
how i wish i could stick you to my mirror
and stare at you on a daily routine
to find any kind of flaw in you
that i can't locate now
but you're not even giving a glance
because you're not thinking about me
the way i am
or are you?
i wish you could notice the way i
strangle myself just for you to
hear me breathing
breathing your voice and
canyouhearyournameinmylaughter?
doing whatever i can
to remind myself of you
just in case you're not remembering me
i'm looking at...
785 reads
0 Comments
LOVE POEM
Published
2nd Dec 2009 3:49pm
2nd Dec 2009 3:49pm
minutes
Jumper for Pa was inspired by my mother's true experience with her father.. This one, is my own of hers.
---------------------------------------------------
i try not to think of the things
that bring me closer to knowing
she suffers every breath she takes
because i want to look strong and
give her the confidence that i
can
be the daughter she wants me to be
i count the minutes until her fits of coughing will
end
from the other side of the wall
with the sheets over my head
to cover my tears
and gasps of helplessness
...
---------------------------------------------------
i try not to think of the things
that bring me closer to knowing
she suffers every breath she takes
because i want to look strong and
give her the confidence that i
can
be the daughter she wants me to be
i count the minutes until her fits of coughing will
end
from the other side of the wall
with the sheets over my head
to cover my tears
and gasps of helplessness
...
885 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Submissions by 3ampoems (Celine Belli)
