Poem of 2024
Grace said:Chubby
I had my diets and gym routines
I had abstinence and fasting
I have lived on nothing but orange rind
but like love its not always lasting
my cheeks are round
my tummy is cushiony
my bum is several pounds
of tight but bouncy
I waddle around jiggle and wiggle
but I am full of happy glee
I am chubby and proud
to be happy and stress free
Creamy and Delicious
A Cake was sitting in the shop when Grace came walking by,
the Cake then jiggled up and down, to catch her pretty eye.
'Oh, Grace! Oh, Grace!' the Cake called out, 'Won't you stop to buy me.
You'll really like my jam, you know, if you care to try me.'
Well, Grace then saw this lovely Cake and thought, 'Balls to my diet!'
She took some money from her purse, and went inside to buy it,
then sittling down, she took a bite, and Mmmm! that Cake was creamy,
she'd never known a cake before so tasty and so dreamy,
and soon the Cake was deep inside her wibblywobbly tum,
and she was licking her sweet lips – she'd eaten every crumb!
'I'm really glad I stopped, she thought, 'That cake was really nice.
I wish I had another one so I could eat it twice!
I'd hate to be a ribby girl, who's only skin and bones,
and I'm quite happy being me, with all my curvy zones,
so balls to every magazine which says girls should be skinny.
I'm Grace, I'm happy and I'm glad I'm maxi and not mini!'
[So am I. 🙃]
🐬🦈
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E8Nv5hWd-Js&pp=ygUGZWF0IGl0
🍰
I had my diets and gym routines
I had abstinence and fasting
I have lived on nothing but orange rind
but like love its not always lasting
my cheeks are round
my tummy is cushiony
my bum is several pounds
of tight but bouncy
I waddle around jiggle and wiggle
but I am full of happy glee
I am chubby and proud
to be happy and stress free
Creamy and Delicious
A Cake was sitting in the shop when Grace came walking by,
the Cake then jiggled up and down, to catch her pretty eye.
'Oh, Grace! Oh, Grace!' the Cake called out, 'Won't you stop to buy me.
You'll really like my jam, you know, if you care to try me.'
Well, Grace then saw this lovely Cake and thought, 'Balls to my diet!'
She took some money from her purse, and went inside to buy it,
then sittling down, she took a bite, and Mmmm! that Cake was creamy,
she'd never known a cake before so tasty and so dreamy,
and soon the Cake was deep inside her wibblywobbly tum,
and she was licking her sweet lips – she'd eaten every crumb!
'I'm really glad I stopped, she thought, 'That cake was really nice.
I wish I had another one so I could eat it twice!
I'd hate to be a ribby girl, who's only skin and bones,
and I'm quite happy being me, with all my curvy zones,
so balls to every magazine which says girls should be skinny.
I'm Grace, I'm happy and I'm glad I'm maxi and not mini!'
[So am I. 🙃]
🐬🦈
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E8Nv5hWd-Js&pp=ygUGZWF0IGl0
🍰
Ode to a Cake's disaster
...I love cakes!
A long time ago in my blush of youth
i tried to impress someone I liked
so into the kitchen I went
to bake a cake the banana kind
flour I measured with my youthful flair
sieving the flour so pristine white
I smiled and with flirty eyes stare
at the boy who was so quiet
I cracked an egg stubbornly hard
it broke outside the bowl
I didn't know if I should salvage
the egg off the floor or bawl
I poured the sugar with a coy smile
trying to look like a little lady
but the whole bag just spilled
filling the bowl and all over me
The bowl was heavy and fell
to the floor hitting my toe
I slipped with a resounding yell
and joined the mess on the floor
I never tried to bake again
nor look at pots and pans
without recalling the pain
of trying to impress someone
he never looked at me you see
didn't even see me all powdery
he was my brother's friend
interested only in boys game
...I love cakes!
A long time ago in my blush of youth
i tried to impress someone I liked
so into the kitchen I went
to bake a cake the banana kind
flour I measured with my youthful flair
sieving the flour so pristine white
I smiled and with flirty eyes stare
at the boy who was so quiet
I cracked an egg stubbornly hard
it broke outside the bowl
I didn't know if I should salvage
the egg off the floor or bawl
I poured the sugar with a coy smile
trying to look like a little lady
but the whole bag just spilled
filling the bowl and all over me
The bowl was heavy and fell
to the floor hitting my toe
I slipped with a resounding yell
and joined the mess on the floor
I never tried to bake again
nor look at pots and pans
without recalling the pain
of trying to impress someone
he never looked at me you see
didn't even see me all powdery
he was my brother's friend
interested only in boys game
All The Ingredients. 🙃🍰
A few years on that boy looked back,
and saw the chance he'd thrown away.
He gave his head a whopping smack
and cursed his blindness on that day
when Grace had tried to bake a cake,
because she thought him really sweet,
but couldn't get her egg to break,
and dropped a bowl upon her feet,
then slipped and fell upon the floor
and lay there in a floury mess,
with sugar sweet and, even more,
the egg all mixed up on her dress ...
The boy looked back with wrinkled brow,
to think of it gave him a – er – pain, 🙃
he knew the Gods would not allow
a chance like that to come again!
🍰🧁
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DwK6ymrv39w&pp=ygUobWFjYXJ0aHVyIHBhcmsgZG9ubmEgc3VtbWVyIGxvbmcgdmVyc2lvbg%3D%3D
🍰🙃🧁
A few years on that boy looked back,
and saw the chance he'd thrown away.
He gave his head a whopping smack
and cursed his blindness on that day
when Grace had tried to bake a cake,
because she thought him really sweet,
but couldn't get her egg to break,
and dropped a bowl upon her feet,
then slipped and fell upon the floor
and lay there in a floury mess,
with sugar sweet and, even more,
the egg all mixed up on her dress ...
The boy looked back with wrinkled brow,
to think of it gave him a – er – pain, 🙃
he knew the Gods would not allow
a chance like that to come again!
🍰🧁
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DwK6ymrv39w&pp=ygUobWFjYXJ0aHVyIHBhcmsgZG9ubmEgc3VtbWVyIGxvbmcgdmVyc2lvbg%3D%3D
🍰🙃🧁
One For Henry the Eighth.
Today, I think I'll play a royal game
and write a rhyme about an English king
whose way with women brought him rightful fame;
he simply chopped their heads straight off, to bring
an end to female pests, with Axeman's swing.
If Modern Man this action would adopt,
the trouble caused by Woman would be stopped.
A woman is all right in bed, you see,
but outside that she's really just a pain.
So what solution better could there be
than just to chop her head off, start again,
when Woman One becomes too much a strain?
For then a man, with nothing more ado,
can simply move right on to Woman Two;
and then a year’s enough. She gets the chop.
Her pretty head gets severed from her neck
and all her silly female stuff will stop.
The Axeman's chopper is the perfect check
if happiness she's threatening to wreck.
So, Henry, we salute you, perfect King,
you solved the problem of the Woman thing.
🙃
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0JoOsYgM4Io&pp=ygUcaW0gaGVucnkgdGhlIGVpZ2hoIGkgYW0gc29uZw%3D%3D
👑
Kings
there are nice kings and silly ones
pretty handsome and kinky kings
short ones with double chins
and some without one at all
the Sun King lived in gay Paree
loved a few games of chance
he never lost yet never won
he lived to play and entertain
the short and chubby king
loved to change his mate
there was Anne and there was Jane
and then there was Catherine
there was Charles the Great
a tall man was he indeed
for a king he was not very fat
for royalty he was a rare breed
Al-Hakam II never knew sympathy
nor did he know any mercy
he was strict with his rule
compelled discipline for his people
kings they were and kings they'll forever be
with their sorts of shenanigans and folly
done when alive remembered in history
tigers leave their strips, men their legacies
there are nice kings and silly ones
pretty handsome and kinky kings
short ones with double chins
and some without one at all
the Sun King lived in gay Paree
loved a few games of chance
he never lost yet never won
he lived to play and entertain
the short and chubby king
loved to change his mate
there was Anne and there was Jane
and then there was Catherine
there was Charles the Great
a tall man was he indeed
for a king he was not very fat
for royalty he was a rare breed
Al-Hakam II never knew sympathy
nor did he know any mercy
he was strict with his rule
compelled discipline for his people
kings they were and kings they'll forever be
with their sorts of shenanigans and folly
done when alive remembered in history
tigers leave their strips, men their legacies
Killer Queen
If, Grace, my dear,
you were his Queen,
a happier King
would not be seen.
👸👑🤴
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9K-Jmg93Xj8&pp=ygUMa2lsbGVyIHF1ZWVu
🙃
If, Grace, my dear,
you were his Queen,
a happier King
would not be seen.
👸👑🤴
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9K-Jmg93Xj8&pp=ygUMa2lsbGVyIHF1ZWVu
🙃
Queen
The strongest piece upon the board in chess
is female. This to me seems very wrong
and why it should be so I can not guess.
A woman is a feeble thing, not strong,
and strength to her does not at all belong.
In real life if women had such might
the world quite simply couldn't get along
and quickly would be in a sorry plight;
and then, of course, a man would have to put it right.
👑👸🙃
Queens
...lovely song
many queens have hearts like stone
they never smile, look at their portraits
they look angry with frowns
methinks, they ruled with iron fists
sometimes they are caught with wicked grins
their teeth as yellow as their sparkling crown
at times they summoned peasants to find
the most ridiculous of task to do
with tricks that were unpleasant
they made the common folks cry
for they'd turn each task into a pain
like putting out a river to dry
their favourite game was off with your heads
when they answer any right with their left
they'd be carried away like a single herd
marched out by escorts all shivering like a leaf
...lovely song
many queens have hearts like stone
they never smile, look at their portraits
they look angry with frowns
methinks, they ruled with iron fists
sometimes they are caught with wicked grins
their teeth as yellow as their sparkling crown
at times they summoned peasants to find
the most ridiculous of task to do
with tricks that were unpleasant
they made the common folks cry
for they'd turn each task into a pain
like putting out a river to dry
their favourite game was off with your heads
when they answer any right with their left
they'd be carried away like a single herd
marched out by escorts all shivering like a leaf
The Philosophical Triumph Of Materialism
The wicked Bishop slides across the board
and slithers to a halt beside the Queen.
The Knight's aghast! The godded white-piece horde
are threatening with fiendish words obscene
the Lady whom he loves. So to the scene
he rides, his sword a shining death of steel,
and with a slashing blow of edge so keen,
chops off that bishop's head, who with a squeal
dies bleeding, crushed beneath the Red Knight’s iron heel
♟️🗡️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zEKYQ4GOqmk&pp=ygUJcmVkIGZsYWcg
🚩
Rage
lost in a haze
heart full of rage
I traversed in shadows deep
where tempers couldn't keep
for he chose to say goodbye
after success born of my sacrifice
a flicker sparked as he drove away
wished him dead and that's no lie
in the darkness I wandered for a while
my thoughts were daggers and poisons
the light came through when I realised
there were many reasons to keep on living
Love's gentle tide washed over my rage
those days are gone
I have adventures to experience
I'm strong hear me ...roar(?)
😂
lost in a haze
heart full of rage
I traversed in shadows deep
where tempers couldn't keep
for he chose to say goodbye
after success born of my sacrifice
a flicker sparked as he drove away
wished him dead and that's no lie
in the darkness I wandered for a while
my thoughts were daggers and poisons
the light came through when I realised
there were many reasons to keep on living
Love's gentle tide washed over my rage
those days are gone
I have adventures to experience
I'm strong hear me ...roar(?)
😂
She Roared! ... (But Then An Incy-Wincy Spider Came And Frightened Her) 🙃
I thought today I'd write a spider rhyme,
to illustrate the woes the creatures face
when stuck inside the bath. They try to climb
its slide, escaping from that nasty place,
but then, as seems to happen every time,
a woman screams, as if it were a crime
for little spiders to be in the bath,
although they only want the exit path.
'Oh, no!' the spider thinks, 'She's here again!
I wish she'd stop that bloody awful row!
As if things now weren't bad enough, just when
I'm trapped inside this tub, the silly cow
will scream and scream and call her boyfriend. Then:
‘‘Don’t worry, dear. I’ll kill it!’’ he will vow
and come and wash me down the horrid drain!
I'll have to climb this bloody way again!
'It really is too much for me to bear!
They've flushed me down the drain already twice
this week! These people simply coudn't care
about us spiders, they're not very nice
and neither are the bastards very fair.
That water's freezing cold and just like ice!'
The torrent from the tap comesrushingdown
and causes our poor spider chum to drown.
🕷️⚰️
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2yvoRtHSQ4Y&pp=ygUQYm9yaXMgdGhlIHNwaWRlcg%3D%3D
🕷️🕸️
🙃
Showers
...nice song
my shower experience has since turned awry
after reading about a peeping Tom spider
running around eyes bulging looking silly
like its been soaked in old apple cider
it gives me nightmare as it stands and stare
its legs shaking like a morning drunk
I swear it grins and at times sneer
making faces, what a spider punk!
i should take baths now no showers
I keep on thinking about spiders
inside my shampoo bottle and body wash
I think I will go bathe in the river
...nice song
my shower experience has since turned awry
after reading about a peeping Tom spider
running around eyes bulging looking silly
like its been soaked in old apple cider
it gives me nightmare as it stands and stare
its legs shaking like a morning drunk
I swear it grins and at times sneer
making faces, what a spider punk!
i should take baths now no showers
I keep on thinking about spiders
inside my shampoo bottle and body wash
I think I will go bathe in the river
The Impossibility Of Writing A Sonnet On Any Other Subject When She's Bathing Naked In The River 🙃
She's safe from nasty spiders in the stream;
the creepy things would all be washed away.
It seems, then, that her cunning bathtime scheme
has worked, and she may splash and wash and play,
all free of care of peeping spider eyes,
their hairy legs which tickle when they touch,
their big fat bodies of tremendous size
which for a girl to bear's a bit too much.
But, oh, my dear, the river's full of crabs,
with waving claws to give your toes a nip.
You'll feel their sharp and very painful stabs
before you end your Sunday bathtime dip.
'Go bathing in the sea,' is my advice.
The Shark will eat you – but you'll find that's nice.
🦈🐬
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A3ytTKZf344&pp=ygUKc2hhcmsgc29uZw%3D%3D
🙃
Pools and Ponds
...nice song!
I would like to bathe in a pond
to enjoy the water lilies sway
swimming with a bunch of tadpoles
rolling around and frolicking all day
But! they like to follow me with googly eyes
nipping my toes with beady stares
they have no teeth, just gums
yet they keep on thinking I am breakfast
Taddy Tadpole is taking a shine on me
I find that rather funny and silly
I can't envision me giving him a kiss
even if he may turn into a prince
I may not wander here again
for the tadpoles and frogs giggle and scheme
its not as if the pond is that grand
its just a body of water on the ground
...nice song!
I would like to bathe in a pond
to enjoy the water lilies sway
swimming with a bunch of tadpoles
rolling around and frolicking all day
But! they like to follow me with googly eyes
nipping my toes with beady stares
they have no teeth, just gums
yet they keep on thinking I am breakfast
Taddy Tadpole is taking a shine on me
I find that rather funny and silly
I can't envision me giving him a kiss
even if he may turn into a prince
I may not wander here again
for the tadpoles and frogs giggle and scheme
its not as if the pond is that grand
its just a body of water on the ground
