Redundant Beauty

I am currently participating in a competition hosted by Jade wherein I would need to create 30 poems in 30 days.

I have always been a free verse poetry writer  and feels inadequate in the kind of poems with fix patterns.

As part of the challange, I opted to try so I researched and found so many kinds - sonnets, haiku, tanka, lyric, etc. One fascinated me among others....

Pantoum
A pantoum is a poem that uses a lot of repetition. To create this poem, follow these steps.

Write a quatrain (4 line stanza). Writing emotional lines usually works best.

Take lines 2 and 4 of the first stanza and make them lines 1 and 3 of the second stanza.

Take lines 2 and 4 of the second stanza and make them lines 1 and 3 of the third stanza.

Continue your poem using this pattern.

For your last stanza, go back to the first stanza of the poem. Make line 3 of the first stanza line 2 of your last. Make line 1 of the first stanza line 4 in your last.

(Definition curtesy of ... http://www.familyfriendpoems.com)

Rules of the Competition:


1. One Entry (could be a repost of your own or new composition)
2. Title your Entry
4. Follow the above given pattern (I'll be posting my first attempt at it to serve as a visual guide.)
3. Two weeks till deadline of entries

Have fun everyone!

Here goes...


Ghost
(Pantoum of Secrets)  
April 13, 2016  
©Oxy2016Dup/NaPoWriMo 2016  
(April 11-15) All Rights Reserved  

My lips are sealed
Hiding so many secrets
From many failures
Because of youthful indiscretions

Hiding so many secrets
My shoulder feels heavy
Because of youthful indiscretions
Carrying it all alone.

My shoulder feels heavy
From many failures
Carrying it all alone
My lips are sealed

Love Grabbed And Stabbed My Heart
©ThornWithin
All Rights Reserved 2016


Love grabbed and stabbed my heart
Falsely accused, contempt for her building, and in silence brooding
Mindless mocking, quarrels and her unfounded womanizing woes neverending
Her feelings in frantic frenzy, furious and dramatic, our lives unfulfilling

Falsely accused, contempt for her building, and in silence brooding
A marriage marred, unjustified jealousy, her delusory doubts disdaining
Her feelings in frantic frenzy, furious and dramatic, our lives unfulfilling
Wild thoughts, her doubts and disbelief, believing I'm deceiving's so annoying

A marriage marred, unjustified jealousy, her delusory doubts disdaining
Children crying, bickering served for breakfast, downright disappointing
Wild thoughts, her doubts and disbelief, believing I'm deceiving's so annoying
She refused cooking, arguments served for dinner, and Sex on vacation hibernating.

Children crying, bickering served for breakfast, downright disappointing
Stressing seeing suit or pants devoid of pressing, not to add that nasty nagging
She refused cooking, arguments served for dinner, and Sex on vacation hibernating.
Nightmares at night! My dick suing me of deprivation, dragging its balls out of the house cursing!

Stressing seeing suit or pants devoid of pressing, not to add that nasty nagging
So tired of sleeping on the sofa, in the room she's soundly snoring
Nightmares at night! My dick suing me of deprivation, dragging its balls out of the house cursing!
Unused condoms, home's restricting as a prison, Passion's fed up it started packing.

So tired of sleeping on the sofa, in the room she's soundly snoring
Mindless mocking, quarrels and her unfounded womanizing woes neverending
Unused condoms, home's restricting as a prison, Passion's fed up it started packing.
Love grabbed and stabbed my heart

Purify: Asenaths Confession

Out rush my heart
I confess my trangressions
My soul i wish i had not offended
My lies and life seem endless

I confess my transgressions
In recall i am reprimanded
My lies and life seem endless
And on bruised knees i bend

In recall i am reprimanded
I honeycomb lips from ash
And on bruised knees i bend
As if no other, through these ruby lips
Have passed

I honeycomb lips from ash
Joseph, I have never spoke of another
As if no other, through these ruby lips Have passed
I will have your virgin daughter

Joseph, I have never spoke of another
False idols have fueled great madness
I will have your virgin daughter
Through lips no other has passed

False idols have fueled great madness
I uttered in hostile prayer
Through lips no other has passed
Now i may kiss away your cares

I uttered in hostile prayer
I am no longer Pharoahs daughter
Now i may kiss away your cares
As monotheistic wife apon our altar

Take my thigh without reproach
My soul I wish I had not offended
Without your love she would not be bourne
Out rush my heart

Idk...i followed your directions...but the pattern is not the same as the former poems...i will google and see what i am not getting...thanks for introducing this style though doll!

It is just 1 and 3rd...2nd and 4th correct?

Alright...figured out the ending...but i understand you want three stanzas...though you did not specify that to begin with...
So if you dont recognise it...i understand...but it is my submission.

Thank you sweetie...for your help

ThornWithin said:Love Grabbed And Stabbed My Heart
©ThornWithin
All Rights Reserved 2016

Love grabbed and stabbed my heart
Bleeding in silence from within
Rush of pain I gained again
In anguish slowly dying

Bleeding in silence from within
The mending neverending
In anguish slowly dying
Should I let go or keep on trying ?

The mending neverending
Rush of pain I gained again
Should I let go or keep on trying ?
Love grabbed and stabbed my heart


Thank you for kick starting the competition Paul. Beautiful piece you've got here.

calamitygin said:Idk...i followed your directions...but the pattern is not the same as the former poems...i will google and see what i am not getting...thanks for introducing this style though doll!

It is just 1 and 3rd...2nd and 4th correct?

Hi Jen,

I am sorry for being confusing.
If it helps, let me elaborate on the pattern more....

... I thought of it, the poem could go on and on.... following the pattern for the second stanza....

Good example is the poem posted by gardenlover

She'll Wait No More

She'd waited for her lover
He gave her a kiss
He'd  caressed no other
They found each other bliss

He gave her a kiss
His hands in her groin
They found each other bliss
When could they conjoin

His hands in her groin
Arousing her passion
When could they conjoin
Dropping all their caution

Arousing her passion
Their genitals were ready
Dropping all their caution
Copulation was steady

Their genitals were ready
He'd  caressed no other
Copulation was steady
She'd waited for her lover

Mine is correct now as well doll i believe...and yes...gardenlovers is a wonderful example....

gardenlover said:
She'll Wait No More

She'd waited for her lover
He gave her a kiss
He'd  caressed no other
They found each other bliss

He gave her a kiss
His hands in her groin
They found each other bliss
When could they conjoin

His hands in her groin
Arousing her passion
When could they conjoin
Dropping all their caution

Arousing her passion
Their genitals were ready
Dropping all their caution
Copulation was steady

Their genitals were ready
He'd  caressed no other
Copulation was steady
She'd waited for her lover


gardenlover, thank you for your contribution.  I love this piece. Facinating how repetitive lines makes a poem still good and beautiful

calamitygin said:Mine is correct now as well doll i believe...and yes...gardenlovers is a wonderful example....

Yup Jen, it is. And what a piece. Thanks a lot for joining in. (And for clearing my confusion)

This is the first competition I try to host. And I hope it all goes well. Thanks again for your support.

Oh honey...like i said..i appreciate you doing it. I read it is important that the lines though repeated...shift in meaning. Puns and such...so that ultimately it is not redundant...I love the title of this Wonderful comp...and thanks for discussin it wit me...🍒🍌

There is a lost holy place within us

There is a lost holy place within us
made of love, bright flesh and cool words
lean on the time, body of ours, and don’t rush  
the old age comes when the guard is asleep in the yard.

Made of love, bright flesh and cool words
it’s a verse that adds weight to the full moon nights
the old age comes when the guard is asleep in the yard
the burial cloth will never change color, it has no rights.

It’s a verse that adds weight to the full moon nights
two birds are engraving a virtual poem on the moon
the burial cloth will never change color, it has no rights
in this absurd life, love mitigates the tune.

Two birds are engraving a virtual poem on the moon
lean on the time, body of ours, and don’t rush  
in this absurd life, love mitigates the tune.
there is a lost holy place within us.


©Artemios Moulos
All Rights Reserved 2016

Artemios said:There is a lost holy place within us

There is a lost holy place within us
made of love, bright flesh and cool words
lean on the time, body of ours, and don’t rush  
the old age comes when the guard is asleep in the yard.

Made of love, bright flesh and cool words
it’s a verse that adds weight to the full moon nights
the old age comes when the guard is asleep in the yard
the burial cloth will never change color, it has no rights.

It’s a verse that adds weight to the full moon nights
two birds are engraving a virtual poem on the moon
the burial cloth will never change color, it has no rights
in this absurd life, love mitigates the tune.

Two birds are engraving a virtual poem on the moon
lean on the time, body of ours, and don’t rush  
in this absurd life, love mitigates the tune.
there is a lost holy place within us.


©Artemios Moulos
All Rights Reserved 2016



Art, this is good. Makes me think of being patient and kind and just simply hopeful.
Thank you for this.

Art!! Oh doll...I love this from you...what a beautiful poem in a hard place...i love the soul as a prison....kiss💋