Rap Sensibly

The Rules

1) It must rhyme
2) and make sense poetically
3) You get two weeks of time starting now
4) to poke fun at your own expense

That's
how
it's
done
...
see?

I will post a better example.

Don't hold your breath.

I.B. Ballinger


Decided to pen my own rap
After reading a few others here lately
One that didn't make any sense to you
Making perfect sense to me
Seems this is how those fly white boys
Like Johnny Blaze keep it real these days
Drop the acid
Get dopey high
Spit noise lyrically so surreal
It needs Instant Replays

Now run along
Be gone with you
Punk ass bitch
Master Psy
Is on the mound
Balling high
He's winding up to pitch
His balls?
Faster, bigger, round
You'll need a switch hitter
Speaking of which
I smacked up my bitch
Just kidding
She was my babysitter
Instead
I knocked her up
And down
Without ever having hit her
And once upon a time
I might have beaned a baby
Or two
And by "might have"
I could possibly mean "maybe"
Never mind
Pay attention
You
Just keep your eye on the ball
Sucker's clocked an MPH of 105
That's Miles Per Hour
Not Master of Public Health
Nor is it Mr. Potato Head
I don't spit bullshit jive
My degree is in psychology
Where the money and wealth ...
... is
You heard me right
That's what I said
I know as much about baseball
As I do the inside of my own colon
My degree is not in proctology
For the sake of rhyming psychology
Has absolutely nothing to do with psychics
I don't consult an Ouija
Bored, yet?
But, pipes do tend to get blocked up
I recommend a plumber named Luigi
This rap has turned to crap real fast
Five minutes of your life I rob
Not my natural calling
Neither is it yours
Please don't quit your day job
Ten minutes of fame to go are almost passed
So I will take my leave with these last few reminders

I.B. Ballinger is the name
I be balling her all the same
And soon a lawyer will be contacting me
About statutory rape
Perhaps alimony

I.B. Ballinger is my name
You're not the baller you think you are
However, you do create your own reality
Johnny, you're going to be a star

PsycoticMastermind said:The Rules

1) It must rhyme
2) and make sense poetically
3) You get two weeks of time starting now
4) to poke fun at your own expense

That's
how
it's
done
...
see?

I highlighted a few rhyming words you missed.

Yer welcome.

I see you two,
the one that flew over the cookoo's nest
and the one that has crows in his nest.
Cuttin the fool
Who'll first bust a rule?

I'll take my mule outa school now.

(C'mon in Kriticool...)

Shrink Rap

I go to see the shrink
She greets me with a wink
Tells me to relax
Just hit her with the facts

So I say my daddy drank
And I have him to thank
For getting me on booze
But that shit's just old news

So I yap about my fears
How I'm inclined to tears
How I just want to be alone
Not pick up the fucking phone

Then there's my sense of doom
When I'm in a crowded room
Just can't bring myself to speak
Without feeling like a freak

Can't get a good night's sleep
'Cause the shadows start to creep
Start to get inside my head
Drag my ass right out of bed

Then she tells me we're out of time
To forget about the rhyme
Says I'd best lay off the verse
Before my condition becomes worse

Says be sure to take my meds
Maybe pick up some new threads
I say she's dressed to kill
She says she'll send me the bill.  

Crowfly, thank you for taking the plunge and getting this party started.

Your rap met all of the requirements. It rhymed, had a theme and was self deprecating. Excellent job.

Peter_Pan said:I see you two,
the one that flew over the cookoo's nest
and the one that has crows in his nest.
Cuttin the fool
Who'll first bust a rule?

I'll take my mule outa school now.

(C'mon in Kriticool...)


Be careful little Peanut Buttery Troll
When you find yourself on a roll
The wined and dined might be inclined
To munch while waiting for lunch

PsycoticMastermind said:[quote-298267-Peter_Pan]I see you two,
the one that flew over the cookoo's nest
and the one that has crows in his nest.
Cuttin the fool
Who'll first bust a rule?

I'll take my mule outa school now.

(C'mon in Kriticool...)


Be careful little Peanut Buttery Troll
When you find yourself on a roll
The wined and dined might be inclined
To munch while waiting for lunch[/quote]

HA! Jeffrey Dahmer I don't date.
He knows my nuts don't have much weight.
My butt's too flubbery;  bones so hard
I'd break his shark teeth into shards.

ah..ehm... HOLLY!!!!! HELP!!! The man with the wet nap is drooling at me!

LMAO

deleted by author

ahh ok, I think I can relate her, I'm an artist so I'm just going to freewrite what ever comes to mind, so don't hate it ;)

REVOLUTION



One by one the machine starts to realize,
Two by two we expose this world of lies,
Side by side we all stand and unite,
There's always darkness before the light,
we stand as one, one stands as all,
We all stand together or we all shall fall,
We tried to reason, we tried to stall,
But now our backs are against the wall,
time the has come, the time is now,
Will we stand or will we bow?
Their time is up their time is now,
The time has come to bring them down,
Destroy the system, expose the lies,
Rebuild the system, make them die,
What will it take to open your eyes?
When will the time come to stand and fight?
Tear down the borders and draw the lines,
Tear down their walls and destroy their kind,
all stands as one one stands as all,
Revolution is calling can you hear the call?
All stands as one one stands as all,
We all stand now or we all will fall,

Godkill and Peter Pan, thank you for your entries thus far.

Should you care to submit more entries ( as many as you care to ), keep the parameters of the challenge in mind.
PsycoticMastermind said:The Rules

4) to poke fun at your own expense

PsycoticMastermind said:Godkill and Peter Pan, thank you for your entries thus far.

Should you care to submit more entries ( as many as you care to ), keep the parameters of the challenge in mind.
[quote-298253-PsycoticMastermind]The Rules

4) to poke fun at your own expense

[/quote]

I thought I was poking fun at myself. Maybe it's not making sense to do so??

bah. I'll go dig a peanut butter waffle maze instead.

Peter_Pan said:
I thought I was poking fun at myself. Maybe it's not making sense to do so??

bah. I'll go dig a peanut butter waffle maze instead.

Please be careful while you are mining that you don't get smacked in the head with a Waffle Bat.